Friday, February 28, 2014

Made to Crave Blog Hop - I am Holy

To be made holy is to be set apart by God for a specific purpose.
I have been deemed set apart by God for a specific purpose.
Does this make me holy?
 I’m a nobody.  I’m just a crippled middle aged woman in Middle Tennessee.  I’ve never done anything amazing.  My name is not known all over the world.  I don’t make life altering decisions every day that can make or break people.  I’m not a doctor with the next big cure.  I’m not a political leader with some grand suggestion for world peace.  I don’t have a solution to feed hungry kids, or to make parents love their children, nor can I make husbands and wife stay in a marriage where everyone and everything else says throw in the towel.
I’m no one, remember?
But, what if I have been set apart God for a specific purpose?
Leviticus 19:2  says, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.’”
It’s easy for us in our human state to doubt that we can be holy because…
       “I’m crippled…”
        “My parents abandoned me…”
        “My spouse rejected me…”
         “I’m overweight…”
This list can go on forever.  It’s been said that if you’re looking for an excuse; you’ll always find one.  But, our holiness has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with God: We are holy because He is holy.
Too often we think that God can’t use us because of our brokenness.  But in all reality, it is through our brokenness that God does use us.  Honestly, I do not know if I’d be a Christian if I wasn’t disabled.  My parents weren’t going to church when I was born.  When it was time for me to start school, they found a Catholic school that was just for disabled students.  My parents choose to put me in there rather than a public school where I would have probably been place into a special education class.
Uhm, set apart…
God knew.  My disability didn’t take Him by surprise.  While I don’t think He caused me to be disabled, I do think He allowed in for my good and for His glory.   Romans 8:28 tells us; “We know that all things work God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” 
 Somehow, my problems and your problems will all reveal God’s glory.  And I don’t have to do anything but get out of His way.  Ahh, but I’m stubborn.  I what people to see what I’ve done; to be impressed with the progress I’ve made.  What about me?  This is my life and I deserve the credit of what happens in my life.  Right.
I tell my kids all the time; “This is my life, I just let you live here.”  OK maybe not the best example.  But, we were created by God to have a relationship with God.  Luke 19:40 says (after Jesus was told by the Pharisees to rebuke His disciples), “’I tell you’ He replied, ‘If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.’”  Wow, if I don’t praise God and give Him glory, the rocks will do it in my place!  I don’t want to miss out on praise and glorifying God.  He made me who I am.  He created me in my mother’s womb.  He choose my parents and my siblings.  He choose Bryan Barrett to be my husband and Dalton and Bobbye Sue to be our children.  I don’t know why He chose to bless me, but He did.
If I’d not been disabled I doubt I’d ever gone to college. I’d never met Barrett or have had these two wonderful kids. 

Yes, I know I’m holy and have been set apart by God for a specific purpose.  Have you?

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Made to Crave - Chapter 14 - Emotional Emptiness

1.  Do you feel a connection between emotion emptiness and physical hunger?  Yes
      Are you able to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional triggered hunger or does it feel the same to you?  Sometimes, it depends on where I'm at spiritually.  If I'm truly in the word and seeking God, I'm more likely to recognize the difference.  Unfortunately, most of the time I'm not and so it's harder to tell the difference.

2.  By using the phrases of Philippians 4:8 as a guide, invite God to give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your past.

      Whatever is true...Thought your body may be broken, you're still made in God's image.
      Whatever is noble...Your life isn't determined by your physical circumstance, but by what you let God do with it.
       Whatever is right...My mama always told me "God doesn't make junk!"  So therefore I must be worth something to Him.
       Whatever is pure...My brother used to say that he was pure as the white fallen snow.  I would always laugh and say. "Whatever, keep telling yourself that!  But, when we accept Jesus and choose to follow Isaiah 1:18 says “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Jesus purifies our souls; not through anything we've done, but through what He did for us when He died on the cross.

Whatever is lovely…Even though my body in this world is crippled, I know that it is lovely to God. And whether it’s in this life or in Heaven I know that my body will be made whole – and lovely – one day.

Whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy…Nothing I can do on my own can make me any of these things.  However, through Christ I am told that I can do all things.

3.  I love how Lysa describes that God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing in heart by gathering up broken pieces of our lives and making it into something beautiful.  I totally believe that God uses everything in our life to tell our story.  Every now and then I can see a glimpse of what God is doing in my life and it is beautiful.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Whimsical Wednesday - Comparing Myself to Others

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  It’s funny that our society has most people playing tug-of-war with our self: We are to find our own uniqueness, yet we are to do it within expectations.  It’s ok to be different, as long as it kept within our little box.  WHAT???  This is a bit confusing isn’t it?  So is it any wonder that we have people walking around not sure what to do?  Have joy in being unique, but do it while conforming to others.
        We all have expectations put on us.  As a disabled woman, some people are really surprised that I’m married and have two kids.  It’s acceptable that I went to college and got my degree.  Good for you.  But you found someone to love you.   WOW!  The first question people asked is; “Is he disabled too?”  (Now, before I go on let me just say I’m all for disabled people marrying whomever they choose.)  But a lot of time people assume that because I’m disabled then my husband must be disabled too.  He is not.  So, obviously we do not have a typical marriage in some ways, while in others it’s very typical. I’m a stay-at-home-mom.  It’s my job to the “normal” mom things; keep the house clean, do laundry, do the shopping, make meals etc.  I may not do things the same way that “non-disabled” moms do but my kids and husband know that I love them and care for them. 
        I can remember when my kids were newborns and people would come to visit and want to pace with them back and forth to sooth them.  I had to ask people to please not do this.  I wasn’t trying to be mean or ungrateful, but I didn’t want the kids to get used to this,  because I knew I couldn’t pace with them, and as their primary care giver, I knew this couldn’t be one their comfort mechanism that I could offer them. 
        Conforming isn't always bad.  I love being a wife and mother.  But I tend to compare myself too often with those women who don’t have my physical challenges and start thinking things like; “A good mama can drive and she goes to all her son’s basketball games”, or “A good mama can teach her daughter how to sew”.  I let what is expected of a normal mother dictate how I’m supposed to be a mother, all the while forgetting on slight detail – I’m not “normal”.  Uhm, oh yeah!  It can be very easy to fall into that trap of if you aren’t like the norm, then you’re not good enough.  This is a lie from Satan. 

        Once I realize that I cannot live up to this standard, that’s when I can allow my uniqueness to step in and help me to adapt and do stuff the way the way I need to in order to be that good wife and mother that I want to be.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 13 ~Overindulgence

1.  What are the unspoken truths about in your church or circle of friends?   I don't know that there is one.  We have 3 or 4 fellowships a year (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and usually one in the summer or fall.)  These fellowships are infamous.  Ladies bring out their best dishes.  As for my friends, most of them are trying to eat and have their family eat healthy.  It is inspiring to talk with them and get ideas.  My best friend, Becki, is a high school culinary arts teacher.  I'm hoping she can give me some cooking lessons this summer.

2.  Have you ever thought of your overeating as an attempt to silence the cries of a hungry soul?  I hadn’t until I read this but I love this prospect and I hope that the Holy Spirit reminds me of this in times when I’m eating, but not really hungry.

3.  If you soul is like a ravenous vacuum cleaner, what kind of things has it sucked up over the years?  When I was in college, I drank.  After we were married and had kids, we stopped drinking.  Over the years I don’t know that I’ve replaced the drinking with eating but I think after 15 years of marriage and 2 kids I guess life just takes over.  I’m really bad at eating something salty and then something sweet and then something salty again.
4. Are you in the habit of depending on God for you daily needs as the Israelites did after they left Egypt?  Yes, I try to, but sometimes it’s too hard to give control.  I like to have a backup plan – just in case. 
What “manna” do you rely on most from God?  Probably peace and sanity.  I’ve suffer from depression and some other mental issues – most likely related to my Cerebral Palsy – most of more life.  I do take medication, but it is a daily struggle to fight day by day.  While there are things I can’t change; I have to trust that God is doing all things for my good.
5.  Have there been time in life when you struggled because you didn’t have what you needed?  I can’t really say I haven’t had what I needed.  I haven’t, however always taken advantage of them; especially medically.

How have the deprivations cause you to trust God that he can give what you to deal with food?    Where I’ve always had what I need, my live isn’t easy, but if I trust in God things seem to fall in place.  So, I know things we’ll be the same with my foods issues.

6.  “For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:9.  How do you respond to this promise?  I love it.  It’s one I need to stick on my fridge and memorize. 

     If you could ask God for one good thing that would help you to fill a deep and soul-filling satisfaction, what would it be?   Probably Strength and the desire to eat healthier.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Made to Crave Blog Hop ~ Gaining a Soul-Filing Satisfaction

... Hungry, mom the muse, psalm 107:9, quotes, satisfeid, scripture, verse

What satisfies my soul?  Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and candy corn.  Uhm, maybe not.

What I LOVE about doing the Made to Crave bible study is that it’s not just another diet book.  I honestly don’t know that I’ve lost any weight during this process.  But:

          I’m drinking more water.
          I’m taking a daily vitamin.
          I’m exercising more.
          I’m thinking twice about eating those Girl Scout Cookies.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I could definitely improve some things, but that’s not why I joined this study.  I joined this study because I wanted to crave God more than food; more than ANYTHING!  I've  love God for as long as I can remember.  But there are times when I doubt Him; times when my soul cries to Him “Why is my life so unfair?” and times when I simply think He just needs to see things “my way”.

Lysa Terkeurst said in the book “Over-stuffing ourselves with food or drinking until we get drunk or getting wrapped up in the affections of an adulterous relationship are all desperate attempts to silence the cries of a hungry soul.” (Made to Crave, p 129.)  WOW! This statement really spoke to me.  It reminds me of when Jesus met the woman at the well.  (John 4:1-42)  She said “Sir, give me this l water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” Too often we want a quick fix.   Life is difficult; just like it was difficult for that woman go out daily and get the water she needed.  She had totally missed the point of the living water that Jesus told her about.  We too can get caught up in things that we think will be satisfying, only to wind up with a craving greater than the one we started with.  In my experience I crave whatever I’m doing at that time. If I’m trying to eat right, my body craves healthy food and water, but if I’m putting junk in my body; this is going to be what I crave.  It’s the same with God.  If I’m reading His word daily, then I’m going to want to read more of it

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 12 ~ Curse of the Skinny Jeans

1.    What fantasies do you have about what life would be like at your ideal weight?  I would be able to walk better.  Barrett would keep saying how pretty I was and I’d just feel better.

Why do you think your weight has so much power to influence your outlook on life?  We live in a society that is more or less governed by what we look like.  If we don’t fit into that special mold, we don’t feel “normal”.  I struggle more with my CP with this than my weight.  No one wants to be the “odd my out”.  All my life, I’ve been judged by how I look, talk and walk.  Is it fair; no.  Is it normal; yes.  It isn’t until we can see ourselves and others as God see us, that we truly see who we are in Him and realize how much He loves us.

2.   What activities do you join in part or because of the foods that are associated with them?  Oh, there are so many!  Movies and popcorn, Christmas parties and favorite family treats.  Going on with my best friend and getting coffee.  Going to a church fellowship and know that you-know-who made her infamous dish…

What activities might lose attraction for you if food wasn’t involved?   Uhm, probably a lot more than I can think of right now.
3.   What other things besides God have you tied to your happiness?  My physical ability, whether or not people like me.  The behavior of my kids, the approval or disapproval by my husband…The list goes on.

Do you think it’s possible to be filled with joy even though you’re not where you want to be with you weight?  Theologically yes, but not until I can see myself as God sees me.

4.   Who are the incomplete people in your life?  I think the people I’m around the most are the ones I see as incomplete; mainly my husband and kids.

Are these people triggers to make you eat?  Yes, sometimes.

Are there ways you might be the incomplete person in someone’s life?  YES.

Are you able to look beyond people’s incompleteness to see their pain?  Sometimes, when I’m abiding in Jesus and his word, I’m able to be more understanding and sensitive to the needs than I am if I’m not.

5.    What do you think of the incomplete people in your life?  I want to fix them and to make them to become like me.

How might a compassionate act of kindness change the way you feel about the incomplete person?  I think that anytime we can get out of ourselves and truly serve and give to someone else, then we’re going to understand them better.

How might it change how you feel about yourself and your on incompleteness? When we truly focus on the gifts that God has blessed us with and not our flaws, then I think we can be happier and allow Him to work through us.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Whimsical Wednesday ~ Why I'm a Stay - at - Home - Mama

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey ...

I am currently reading the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.  I've wanted to read this for a while now and finally broke down and got it.  I must say, I love it.  My sister, Stacia, (who's 19 years younger than me) just got married and had her first baby.  I was talking to her last night and she’s anxious to get back out into world.  I urged to her to enjoy this time; her daughter will never be a month old again.  I can totally understand her need to get out and be social.  It’s hard to go from the life where you free to go and do as you please, to someone who has another human being that’s relying on you to fulfill their every need.  We live in a society that devalues the mother who chooses to stay at home.  Our mom was a stay at home mom up until I was a freshman in high school, when she went to nursing school.  I was so proud of her, but it really put a strain on the family.  She was always exhausted.  I mean yes she was still a great mother and a fantastic nurse.  But her time was divide and it really took a toll on her.

Still not convince, I started college with every intention of being a “career woman”.  I wanted to be a super social worker during the day and a super wife and super mama at night.  I knew I had what it took to do it and be all.  What change my mind?  I had a lot of friends in college who were married, married with kid, divorced with kids and single with kids.  Some of them were working one or more jobs just to make ends meet.   They were are great moms, but it just seemed like something was missing.  As I thought about trying to do it all with a physical disability.  I feared that my husband or my children would get the short end of my stick.  I could not even stand the thought of that happening. 

I’m all for women right – minus abortion -, but I do believe a woman’s husband and her children are her top priority. A woman’s choice to work or stay home should be between her, her husband and God.  

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Barrett ~ My One True Love

Last week was Valentine's Day.  Needless to say this isn't Barrett's favorite holiday.  However, he did surprise me with lunch and this beautiful rose.  

Growing I fell into the trap that many women (and men too, I suppose)  fall into, that February 14th is the most romantic day of the year.  When I was single, I longed to be with someone on this day above all days because I wanted to feel special and loved.

Some of you know the story of how Barrett and I met, but if you don't, here it is:

In May of 1997, I took a 2 week philosophy class.  It had to be one of the hardest classes I ever took.  We were in class 6 hours a day five days a week.  At this point Barrett was doing morning news at WGNS.  So, he would come to the building the class was in about an hour before class.  Soon I found myself getting ther early too, just to talk to him.

I had just been rejected by a guy, and I had started truly praying to meet someone.  I didn't want just someone to "date", I wanted someone I could build a life with.  Many of my friends were getting married and starting their "adult" lives, if  you will and I longed for this too. 

Within 2 weeks of knowing Barrett, I knew this was the guy I would marry.  Everyone thought I was cray.  There was only one slight problem; Barrett just wanted to be "friends".  (Oh, BTW, never tell a guy after 2 weeks of knowing him that you love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him; it may not be received too well.  Just saying). 

So, we began our year of "friendship".  We went out a couple times of week, we spoke on the phone for hours at night.  I spent hours praying and crying myself to sleep at night; hoping that one day he might love me as much as I loved him.

Looking back, I'm so thankful to God for giving us this year of friendship to really get to know each other.  I can truly say, I married my best friend!

Valentine Day 1998 was bitter sweet.  I was in my last year of college.  I was taking 15 hours, plus doing an internship at Domestic Violence.  I was sick and exhausted most of the time.  On Valentine Day, Barrett took me to Crackle Barrel.  No, he didn't confess his dying love to me, but he did get me this throw that I'd had my eye on.

In May, a year after we met he did say he loved me and we were married in November. It'll be 17 years this may since we met.  WOW!!!  Does Barrett always love me like I think he should? No 
Do I always love him like he thinks I should?  NO.  However, I know that if we continual to love the Lord and let Him grow our marriage, it will be very successful.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Made to Crave - Chapter 11 - Stinkin', Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day

1.  Recall a a recent experience the tempted you to overeat or make bad food choices.  As many of you know Bobbye Sue is a Girl Scout and I am an assistant troop leader we are currently in the midst of COOKIES SEASON!!!  Last Saturday I literally had 64 boxes delivered to my house.  We (I) personally ordered 2 boxes of each kind for our family.  There's nothing more tempting than to know you have access to the delicious

      What specific feeling does this elicit on you?  I want me some cookies!!!
      Whether you resisted or gave in to your temptations, how were your emotions impacted?  Well, so far I've done pretty good at resisting.  (This is highly due to the fact that all the thin mints are currently promised to other people.)  It's hard, but I just keep thinking back to this study and what I've learned so far.                                                
2.  When you experience problems or difficult seasons in lie or your more likely to put on a mask and pretend everything is OK or to take of the mask and ask for help?    I'm more likely to pretend everything is OK.  Grin and bare it as they say.  No one likes a Debbie Downer. Funny thing is though, Barrett and the kids can always tell when something up, but I'll keep on pretending;   usually till I crash and have a melt down.

     How has this tendency impacted you ability to resist food temptations at such times?  May I skip to the next question please?  I am a food sneaker.  I can resist the urge (sometimes) to eat in front of people, but if you leave me alone with some doughnuts or cream cheese...well, let's just say I might be a little more tempted.  But as I said in question 1, Remembering what I've learned in this Made to Crave study has helped a lot.

3.  Have you ever prayed without words; just spending time alone with God?  YES, I love to do this.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to "Pray without ceasing."  We are to always prayer.  It should come as natural as breathing in and out.  God is my constant friend and companion;  He's there every move I make and He knows innermost thoughts.  So, yes I pray without words all the time.

4.  In the coarse of a normal day, what old lies about food make it hard to resist temptation?
     -No one can see you.
     -One more won't hurt.
     -I'll start eating better...tomorrow.
     -Doesn't soda have water in it?

Does going through hard times make these lies harder to resist? Yes

How can God love shown in these scriptures help your replace the lies?
These verses say that God loves us and His Love can give us strength.


If God were to speak Revelation 3:8 to you in regards to food, what would you hope to see and experience on the other side?  I'd hope to see the freedom to be myself and also the courage and power to do what I had to do to get to that freedom

Friday, February 14, 2014

Made to Crave - Chapter 10 - This Isn't Fair

1.  Recall all the special occasions you've attended, what foods what food were present that you knew weren't good choices for you?  Uhm, both sweet and salty foods.  There's something about me eating something sweet that cause me to crave something salty, and vice versus. 

If you ate them, how much of your decision were based on telling yourself you deserve them?  Most of them.

If you passed them by, did you nevertheless regret you choice by saying is isn't fair?  Yes

2.  Have you experienced what it's like to starve temptation in any way?  Yes, but honestly it's been way to long.

How did it make you feel?  If I honestly seeking the Lord and relying on Him when I give something up; it feels great, very empowering.  However, if I'm trying to do it on my own I tend to fall on my face.

3.  What clues you in that you are relying on your own strength rather than God's strength when it comes to your battle with food? When I'm just eating to eat; empty calories.

4.  Have you ever felt your struggle with food is God's curse on you?  Not really.  I think God allows each person to have their own struggles in life.  Mine, right now, is not really about food.  Now that being said, yes I need to watch what I eat and loose a few pounds.  However, I feel like I have other struggles that demand my attention more.  

In what ways might you struggles be beneficial or even a blessing?  James 1:2 says "Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, when you encounter when you face trials of all kinds because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance."  Do I like trials?  No, I don't think anyone like  to go through hardships, but they grow us.  They bring us closer to God and they also allow us the ability to minister to others. 

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Made to Crave Blog Hop - Unpacking 2 COr 12:9-10

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

New International Version (NIV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions,in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Another two of my favorite verses!  Calling all those who are week and weary!!!  These verses say so much and if we don't look closely and ask for the Holly Spirit to interpret we're likely to miss this amazing message.

"My grace is sufficient for you..."  God's grace is all I need.  I don't need to be like Florence Henderson, the mom off the Brady Bunch.  I don't need to cook like Rachel Ray, clean like Martha Stewart, or write like William Shakespeare.  I don't have to prove myself in anyway to God.

"My power is made perfect in weakness..."  I don't have to prove my power to God, because I can't.  Isaiah 64:6 says we have all become like filthy rags; swiveled up like a leaf and being tossed around by the winds.  It's only when I admit and give into my weaknesses, that God's power can be seen.

"Therefore I'll boast all the more proudly about my weaknesses, so that God's power my rest on me..." I want God's power and strength so much more than I want my own.  He deserves all the credit.  I can't wake in the morning and go through my day alone.  He's the one who allows air in my lungs and gives me the energy and strength to do what I need to do.

"This is why I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties..."  Because I know that my strength comes from God.  I can delight in challenges because I know that through them God is making me stronger.  James 1:2 tells us to "consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, when you face trails of an kinds, because you know the testing of your faith, produces perseverance".

"For when I am week, then I am strong..."  This is one of my life verses.  Our society doesn't value weakness.  You're expected to be the best that you can be at everything you do.  If you can't, then your are useless.  When I admit that I'm weak and allow God to work through me, He can can accomplice so much more than I ever imagined. He doesn't need my help.  I just need to step back and let Him do all the work.

A Few Cripple Mama Tips

Every now and then I like share a couple of tips about living with a disability and some  ways I do stuff.  

This first picture I tried to share a few weeks ago and I uploaded it to my blog on my phone and for some reason its showing in my blog on my phone, but not on the compute.

I was making tea one night and I didn't want to spill the mix (like I usually do).  So first I hung the measuring cup on the picture, but it was too top heavy.  Then I hung it on the divider in the sink.  Worked out perfect; its less likely to spill and if it does spill,  I just wash the sink out.

 I LOVE THIS ONE!!!  Dalton helped me clean the kitchen last week and we got rid of the spice carousal.  I didn't want to throw it away, so I decided it'd make a great pill  bottle holder.  I'm probably not the first one to think of this, but its a great idea.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

100 things you may not know about me!

I saw this on another blog & it inspired me.  Please enjoy:)

1.  I was born on November 29, 1973 (yeah, I'm 40)
2. I was born at Memorial hospital in Nashville, but was sent to Vandy soon after I was born.
3.  I was not expected to live.
4.  The doctors told my parent to leave me there and forget about me.
5.  They didn't
6.  I have 5 brothers.
7. I have 2 sisters.
8. My favorite is green.
9 I was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when I was 2.
10.  I went to a Catholic elementary school - St. Bernard's Non-graded Accadamey  
11.  I went to a public high school - Hillsboro High School
12.  I took a college writing class with my Daddy my Sophomore year in high school at Vol State as a payment for baby sitting the summer before while my mama went to nursing school.
13.   I started Middle Tennessee Stated 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Made to Crave - Chapter 8 - Making Peace with the Realities of My Body

1.  What physical trait do you wish you could change?  Probably my speech impediment.  It used to be my walking, but as I get older, not being able to walk bothers me, but being able to communicate with others now trumps that.  

     When the first time you remember being embarrassed  by this?  1st or 2nd grade,  I can remember I was suppose to go to a Easter Seal's sleep over and it was  the first time I remember being with other disabled children and I realized I was like them and "different" from other kids.  I was the only disabled student at my school and I basically did whatever anyone else did and it never occurred me that I was different.

      Are you more at peace with it now?  Most days I am.  Most people are very accepting of people with disabilities and try to listen  and understand me.  Every now and then I'll meet  someone who will not take the time.  Talking on the phone is hard for me .  I make  the kids make most of my "business" calls for me.:) :)

2.  When you consider previous efforts to modify your eating habits, what experiences or accomplishments motivate you?  Uh, I've never really tried to modify my eating habits before.:p 

3.  Have you ever thought of your physical flaws as beneficial? Yes, I think the CP is a huge part of my ministry.
      What may be hidden benefits?  I think my disablity has taught me to be more compassionate for others.

Made to Crave - Chapter 7 - I'm Not Defined By The Numbers

1.  What mode do you kick into when you feel like you don't feel like you measure up?  I usually go one of two ways:  I either go into the "I have to prove I can do this if its the LAST thing I EVER do." mode or the "I should really focus on something else" mode.

2.  If you could clearly hear God's word to you throughout the day, what kind of things would you want to hear Him say?  I'd like to hear him say that He loves me no matter what and that everything I do doesn't have to be perfect. 
    What specifically would you like to hear God say about your weight and your issues with food?  I'd like to hear Him say that I am beautiful no matter what I look like or how much I weigh.  I would to hear Him encourage me.  I mean I know He's always encouraging me, but sometimes I'd like to hear it in an audible voice.

3.  Do you feel like you have everything you need from God to overcome your struggle with food?  Yes

4.  How do the the number on the scale impact you self worth?  No much as to all,   my others physical aspects, due to the CP,  seam  to effect my self-worth more than my weight.

5. What self-defending thoughts or hurtful comments from others run through you mind when it comes to food?  That I'm fat and that I'm not that pretty.  
     What insight and prospective do gain when you ask these questions?
      - Is this true? No, because I was made in God's image.
      - Is this beneficial?   No, it actually hinders progress because when I have negative thoughts it makes it harder to get motivated and to get things done.    
     -Is this necessary? No, because I know that I am a child of God, and am judge by my heart and not my outward appearance.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Made To Crave - Chapter 6 - Growing Closer to God

1.  What is your response to the idea that we grow closer to God when we deny ourselves something that's permissible but not beneficial?  This is so true.  Love the quote from Steal Magnolia's; "What doesn't kills us makes us stronger." I think that I very seldom truly deny ourselves something, then we are to do something in order to honor God.  I must admit I don't always do this.  If I give up drinking cokes, then not only do I replace the coke with something different but as I do, I need to dedicate it to God or praise Him also, and most time I fail to do this.
     Have you ever experience being drawn closer to God by denying ourselves something?  Yes and it was awesome.  Like I said, I should do it A LOT more!!!
     Do you believe this could be true of you in your battle with food? YES!!!
2.  Are there areas in you life in which you experience self control and feel like your self discipline and wise choices honor God?  Yes, most definitely.  My life is a lot more peaceful, our home runs better and my family is happier.  
      What insights about your strengths in those areas might held you to honor God and grow in self-control with you food choices?  They can  remind me that I just need to keep being patient and trusting in God, and I know He'll help me succeed. 
3. Have you ever had the experience of the Holy Spirit nudging you  in connection with your food choices? Yes, but sadly I must admit I don't listen most time.
  If no, how do you hope the Holy Spirit might help you now?  That He reminds me and gives me the courage to do what I need to do.
4.    To what degree have your consuming thoughts of food impact your ability to pursue your calling and receive spiritual nourishment? Greatly, because not only do I not always make right healthy choices, but sometimes I just don't eat and if effects my energy level.
5.  Would you say your spiritually well fed, spiritually malnourished or somewhere in between?  Right now I'm feeling well fed.  Since the New Year, I really been trying to stick with morning and nightly devotions.  I also try to listen to sermons throughout the day.  
     Have you ever tried to use food to satisfy you spiritual hunger? YES
     What was the result?  I never truly get full. I get depressed, I feel guilty.  I feel lonely and just generally not good about myself. 

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Made to Crave Blog Hop - Delighting in Obedience

What is obedience?
Obedience is the act of doing what someone ask or tells us to do?
We, as a culture, do not like to obey.
I, as a sinful human do not like to obey,
     In the Women's Devotional Bible,  Moses has just lead the people out of Egypt and received the 10 Commandments from God.  Right after this, the bible starts talking about oxen and slaves and how if someone steals from you, the must repay and how if some mistreats his slave, he may have to set him free for compensation.  I tend to get bored reading this part of the bible.  It just seems like that time and way of life is so far from where we are now, why should we study it?
    Because, it all points to obedience to God.
    Yikes!  Do I want to go there?   Uhm, No.
I was an obedient daughter (most of the time).  Isn't one of the privileges of being an adult that you no longer have to obey anyone?  I mean, doesn't society tells us that the ultimate success comes from being in charge.
      As a married woman, I must say I do struggle with obedience, or need I say it, submission.  Yes, I want to love and serve Barrett, but submit to him?  That's taking thing too far.  I mean I'm a sophisticated lady.  My college degree is made from the same paper Barrett's is.  I shouldn't have to obey him.
     BINGO!  I don't have to obey him.  I choose to obey him, because I love him.  And this is the same reason I choose to obey God.  I love HIM.  If he tells me to do something, then I have trust Him that it's for my good.    Is obeying God always easy; no.  Is it always fun?  no.  But obedience to God gives me peace.  This is where the delight in obedience comes from.    I need to remember 
that the times in my have gone the best or those time in my when I'm being the most obedient to God (and Barrett).    It's not exciting or fancy, but I have a good life.  Psalm 48:10 says; "Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere.  I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tenths of the wicked."    I would much rather be obedient to my Lord and be at peace than be disobedient to God and live my life in shamble  

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Made to Crave -Chapter 5 - Made for More

1.  When you think of past failure and current struggles with food, how do you hope the truth "I was made for more" may help you?  It encourages me to remember my  past victory.

2.  When you introduce yourself to someone you don't know, how do you describe yourself?  As a  wife and a mother.
    What might your introduction reveal about you understand you own identity? I would probably identify myself as a Proverb 31 &/or a Titus 2 women.  That I'm a woman chosen by God.

3.  Have you ever felt identified by your circumstances? How? Yes, I have been identified by my disability for all my life.  Most people people make their first assumption of you by what they see.  When the first thing they see is a person in a wheel chair or someone with a speech impediment, the can sometimes have opinions that have been formed by stories, past experiences or media perceptions.  While I know this is a natural thing to do it is still frustrating when I encounter it because it catches me off guard.  We actually experienced this Saturday night; we went out to eat and the restaurant really wasn't '"wheel chair" friendly. We had to wait for a table, which wasn't a big deal.  What bothered me is that the hostess almost made to much of a deal of if.  She kept trying to figure out where to seat us.  It made me feel like a burden on them.  Then, I sorta wanted to see how hard it was to get to the bathroom.  I must tell you, I already had the opinion form that it would be difficult - which it was.  But I was already upset and it was kind of my way of saying, "See, I knew they weren't accessible!"

4.  Insert your name and see how God sees you.
      Heather, the forgiven child  of God. (Rm 3:24)
      Heather, the set-free child of God. (Rm 8:1-2)
      Heather, the accepted child of God. (1 Cor. 1:2)
      Heather, the holy child of God. (1 Cor. 1:30)
      Heather, the made new child of God.  (2 Cor. 5:17)
      Heather, the loved child of God. (Eph. 1:4)
      Heather, the close child of God. (Eph. 2:13)
      Heather, the confident child of God. (Eph. 3:12)
     Heather, the victorious child of God. (Rm 8:37)

Made to Crave - Chapter 4 - Friends Don't Let Friends Eat Before Thinking

1. When a friend experiences success with healthy food choices do you feel encouraged and inspired by her example or do you feel discouraged and envious?  I must admit it depends on who it is and where and I am in my personal state.  Sadly, most time I am envious.

2. Complete this sentence:  I do not want to invite a friend to join me on this journey because I'm afraid of failure and I have trouble with accountability.

3.  If accountability is crucial, what is the biggest challenge in making accountability part of your healthy eating plan?  Because I lack willpower and don't want anyone else to know it.  

Monday, February 3, 2014

Rambling Monday - On my Mind

Happy Mondays, friends!  Well, another is off and running.  Dalton has strep throat and had to miss his game tonight :(.  Hopefully, they'll win and he'll get to go Thursday.  Big week for Bobbye Sue. the 5th grade USO dance is Friday.  I'm not going, she said I could,  but Dalton said not to.  Another part of growing up, I guess.