Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 7 "The Risk Of Public Allegiance"

Mark 5:21-43

Here, we are told of two people who pronounce the faith  in God. These were two people can we say, they may not have ever even be suspected to believe in God; one was a upright Jewish leader and the other was a lowly woman who had been cast aside because of a illness she had no control of. 
    Yet they both in their time  of need turned to Jesus; the knew he was their last hope..Too often our pride gets in the way of faith.  I wonder how many Jewish leaders missed out on wonderful blessing simply because they were afraid of what others may think?  How many people in current times miss out on blessing for that same reason?  How many blessings have I missed out on????
     In my marriage ~ how many time have I missed out on chance to be close to and love Barret just because I wanted to be right???  I'm married to a man who's right about 95% of the time and thinks he's right the other 5% of the time.  Being raised by a Daddy who felt the same way; along side brothers who were taught to believe this; I also believe this.  I'll fight you to the core just to prove my point.    While this was the way I was raise and was sometimes necessary for a girl growing up with a disability.  It's not a good quality for a wife to have going into a marriage.  There were times - even no - when I may go along with Barrett, but I don't do it with a humble, submissive heart.  It's my pride.   I want to be right, I want to prove that I'm a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself.  By acting this way, all I do is alienate Barrett.  He always says "I don't know who you think you're fooling, because you're not fooling me!"
I really need to work on being joyful & content in all things, no matter what the circumstances as Paul spoke of in Philippians 4:11.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 6 "Who's in the Driver's Seat

Mark 4:35-40

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm

 ³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”  ³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
 ⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”


Why is it so hard to?  To trust God? To trust Barrett?

I'm not a good "in charge" person; Barrett knows this, my little people know this & most people who know me know (& would agree 20 fold)  Giving a normal, calm state of mind, I don't normally wish to take charge of things.   However,  due to the fact that the state of my mind is neither calm nor normal, I can assure you I let myself get into all types of sorts of situations that require me to make decision that I usually fail at.

That being said, when I'm not  in charge I start to feel anxious.  I naturally want to have the ultimate control.   I think submission to Barrett is one of the hardest things about marriage.  I'm naturally a selfish person.  Plus, growing up I was taught to fight for what I wanted; what I need...It was a survival mechanism.    But, I've got to learn to choose my battles.  Even though Barrett's right 99.9% of the  time.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 5 "The Value of a Tender Touch"

Mark 1:41-42  "Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. 'I am willing.' He said, 'Be clean!'  Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured."

A touch can speak volumes.  I am a big fan of Gray Chapman's "5 Love Languages."  One of my primary love languages is touch; both of my kids share this love language too.   I must say that while I do like to be touched; I don't like it when people (i.e. my little people) lay and wallow all over me.
     Barrett, on the other hand  is not a real "touchy-feally" type of person.  So I've really struggled with this in our marriage.  Very early on, I saw it as a form of rejection.  However, as I've gotten to know him over the years, I've learned that it's not; it's just not his main love language.  He did not grow up in a home where love was expressed in that way.
     So, I try very hard to learn his love languages and speak them to him.  Not only is it fulfilling to me; but as time goes an I realized he's starting to speak my love languages too.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 3 "Hope in the Darkest Hour"

The story of Christ's crucifixion is the ultimate horror story.  You read of this carpenter who promises to save His people from sin and eternal salvation and suddenly He's dead.  As a an avid reader I read some books where the ending's caught me so off guard, I've gone around in a daze for days.  But as Priscilla Shirrer said at a Women of Joy Conference I went to several years ago; "I don't know if you've read the rest of the story, but in the end we win!"
     Life is hard; marriage is hard.  There are days when I don't like Barrett; I love him, but I don't like him.   But I know that we made a commitment to each other and God and if we can just hang on through the rough times,  we'll see the resurrection.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 2

Mathew 26:41 "Watch and pray so that you won't fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

I've never realized how powerful this verse is until right now!!!  I believe it's so important to pray.  Prayer is our most vibrant communication we have with God.  I am to pray for my husband and with him; I am to pray for my kids and with them.  I'm to pray always; without ceasing...

My body is very week.  I wake up every morning thinking: "Today's the day that I become "Susie Homemaker": My house is going to be immaculate, I'll have a delicious, healthy meal on the table promptly at 6, everyone will have clean clothes in the correct drawers, thee kids won't fight and we'll all sing "The Good, Good Daddy's Home" in perfect harmony."

WELL...at the end of the day I realize, once again, that didn't happen.

When I'm not really trying to do my best; watching and praying I will fail.  There are days - & periods of my day - when I truly need to stop and rest.  But, truth be know I can probally push myself a lot hard than I do.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 1

About 5 years ago my friend Jeanne & her husband Mike, gave Barrett and I a gift certificate ate a local Christan bookstore for Christmas.  We got a marriage devotional bible.  As part of "my new year", I'm going to start Reading and blogging on this every day.

Mathew 22:36-39 "Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?
      Jesus replied; "Love the Lord your God with  all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment and the 2nd is like it.  Love your neighbor as yourself."

    When I can truly love others, especially Barrett, the way that I love myself it's amazing but it's so HARD.  I find it easier to love my kids; yes I get discouraged with them at time but in the end I know it's my job to step up and be the "bigger" person.  It's my job as  their mother to make them feel better - not really feel better,  but to more or less make peace. When it comes to Barrett, however, I want him to be the "peace maker".  I have that if he truly loves me, he'll prove it to me by making amends.  Why there  have been times in our marriage he's hurt me; the majority of the time it's been how I perceived the issue that causes the problem.  Instead of loving him like I want to be loved, I want - no expect him to treat and love me the way "I" think "I"should be love.  That's a false love and a lie anyway.  I should not; can not be the judge on how to love or be loved.  This is reserved for God alone.   I can't read Barrett's heart & mind.  I am to love him regardless of if he's showing love to me at that time or not.  I think something interesting in marriage is that we all have our on aspects of love.  I really like Gary Chapman's concept of the 5 Love Languages.  Not only does is give me insight into who Barrett and his way of thinking, but it also show me who I am and how I can adapt better to him.