Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Created to be His Help Meet - Intro

One of my favorite books is Created To Be His Help Meet  by Debi Pearl.   I first read this book about 4 years ago as online book discussion.  I've read it time and time again; it's high lighted, marked in and written it.  I even lost it and ordered another one.  It's just a practical book for any wife; whether work outside the home or at home.  It's a book, that I want to pass on to Bobbye Sue one day. 

A couple of weeks ago my best friend Becki and I decided to study it  together.  We'll do about one chapter per week.  Because I learn as I write, I'm going to try and blog throughout this process. 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Daddy, Mr. Barrett & Abba God ~ Part 1 ~ An Introduction

I may be about to what may be thee biggest writing challenge ever for me.  I'm going to attempt to compose a comparison between the 3 father "figures" in my life.  Obviously, no human can compare to Abba God!  But He did give me an "earthly" father to show me in tangible and visible ways how much He loved and cared for me.  My Daddy was a carnal, sinful man and why he wasn't perfect, he probably deserved a lot more respect than I gave him.
     I'm really not sure why I'm doing a series on this except to say that I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so.  I was listening to Joyce Myer's series "Beauty for Ashes" on CD today and she was talking about fathers and there importance in our lives.  It really hit me that there are issues with my daddy, my father-in-law and God that I need to  deal with.

     So, I'm off...I'm not sure how long this will take or how many blog posts it will take.    Please pray that God will be with me and that His Will will be done

      Thank you!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 8 "Get Some Rest"

New International Version (NIV)
31 Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Wow!  Jesus tells us to come and REST.  If you know me, you know I'm addicted to sleep.  School's been in session for over 2 weeks and I'm still trying to recuperate from "summer".  I slept most of Friday -most of last week actually.  I feel really guilty because the house is such mess and there's so much to do, and I know people think I'm lazy but I do "take to my bed" often - alot of times I'm sleeping I just need to lay down - stretch out.
     Well, in the midst of our chaotic "adventure" Friday night; as I tried to figure out where Bobbye Sue was bleeding from and get ready to take her to the ER  God spoke to me in a small voice, saying; "This is why I let you rest today and this week; so you'd have the energy to take care of Bobbye Sue."
      I'm not saying this gives me permission to be lazy and neglect mu responsibility; it does not.  However, it reminded me that nothing I can do to take me out of God's love & grace & that's it OK if it seams like I need a little more rest than the "normal" person.  Yes. I need to try harder on getting my stuff done; but more importantly I need to trust God that He'll give me what I need to get my stuff done.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Bobby Sue's Friday Night Jaunt to the ER.

So, it was the first "normal" Friday night of football season.   Can you tell I'm married to a sports announcer??? Barrett was gone to a game.  I had ordered pizza and was folding clothes and watch TV(and listening to the radio).  The kids were outside playing with the neighbors.  Suddenly, Dalton ran in and called "Mama!" with that voice that said, "There's something really wrong here."
      Bobbye Sue comes back to my room.  She was covered in blood from her nose to her throat.  At first, I wasn't sure where the blood was coming from.  I got her laying down on the bed and got the bleed stopped enough to see it was from her nose.  She said her (right) wrist hurt and the was I big knot on it,  and she cringed whenever I touched her.
     I told Dalton to call Granddaddy (Barrett's dad) and I hurried to get ready to go.  She was crying; Dalton kept saying, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
     Piece by piece, I gradually begin to comprehend what had happened.  Apparently they were "experimenting" with a new was to use the tire swing.  She was lying on top of the tire, holding the rode and Dalton was swinging her by her legs.  (This is something I can imagine my brothers and I doing years ago.)
Well, needless to say, her hand slipped and she kissed the dirt.  It's been rrumored that there was a dog leash involved too, but I chosen to close my "Mama" eyes to that little bit of information. 
     So we head off to the ER to find that Bobbye Sue did fracture her wrist.  (& yes, she is right handed and it is the start of a new school year.)   
     I must say, I'm really proud of Dalton; he stepped up and took care of his baby sister.  All went well until she asked him to hold the other hand while the doctor splinted the other and Dalton squeezed it too hard.  His reasoning; to divert the pain.

Ahhh, I gotta love my little people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 7 "The Risk Of Public Allegiance"

Mark 5:21-43

Here, we are told of two people who pronounce the faith  in God. These were two people can we say, they may not have ever even be suspected to believe in God; one was a upright Jewish leader and the other was a lowly woman who had been cast aside because of a illness she had no control of. 
    Yet they both in their time  of need turned to Jesus; the knew he was their last hope..Too often our pride gets in the way of faith.  I wonder how many Jewish leaders missed out on wonderful blessing simply because they were afraid of what others may think?  How many people in current times miss out on blessing for that same reason?  How many blessings have I missed out on????
     In my marriage ~ how many time have I missed out on chance to be close to and love Barret just because I wanted to be right???  I'm married to a man who's right about 95% of the time and thinks he's right the other 5% of the time.  Being raised by a Daddy who felt the same way; along side brothers who were taught to believe this; I also believe this.  I'll fight you to the core just to prove my point.    While this was the way I was raise and was sometimes necessary for a girl growing up with a disability.  It's not a good quality for a wife to have going into a marriage.  There were times - even no - when I may go along with Barrett, but I don't do it with a humble, submissive heart.  It's my pride.   I want to be right, I want to prove that I'm a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself.  By acting this way, all I do is alienate Barrett.  He always says "I don't know who you think you're fooling, because you're not fooling me!"
I really need to work on being joyful & content in all things, no matter what the circumstances as Paul spoke of in Philippians 4:11.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 6 "Who's in the Driver's Seat

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm
 35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”  39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
 40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

Why is it so hard to?  To trust God? To trust Barrett?

I'm not a good "in charge" person; Barrett knows this, my little people know this & most people who know me know (& would agree 20 fold)  Giving a normal, calm state of mind, I don't normally wish to take charge of things.   However,  due to the fact that the state of my mind is neither calm nor normal, I can assure you I let myself get into all types of sorts of situations that require me to make decision that I usually fail at.

That being said, when I'm not  in charge I start to feel anxious.  I naturally want to have the ultimate control.   I think submission to Barrett is one of the hardest things about marriage.  I'm naturally a selfish person.  Plus, growing up I was taught to fight for what I wanted; what I need...It was a survival mechanism.    But, I've got to learn to choose my battles.  Even though Barrett's right 99.9% of the  time.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 5 "The Value of a Tender Touch"

Mark 1:41-42  "Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. 'I am willing.' He said, 'Be clean!'  Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured."

A touch can speak volumes.  I am a big fan of Gray Chapman's "5 Love Languages."  One of my primary love languages is touch; both of my kids share this love language too.   I must say that while I do like to be touched; I don't like it when people (i.e. my little people) lay and wallow all over me.
     Barrett, on the other hand  is not a real "touchy-feally" type of person.  So I've really struggled with this in our marriage.  Very early on, I saw it as a form of rejection.  However, as I've gotten to know him over the years, I've learned that it's not; it's just not his main love language.  He did not grow up in a home where love was expressed in that way.
     So, I try very hard to learn his love languages and speak them to him.  Not only is it fulfilling to me; but as time goes an I realized he's starting to speak my love languages too.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 4 "Passing the Torch

Mathew 28:19 "Therefore go and make deciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."  (NIV)

This is the Great Commission.  Many people believe that in order to serve God you have to be doing church work; pastoring or teaching, or serving over seas on foreign soil or something big that makes an impact on  the community.  They are wrong.  EVERYONE IS CALLED  TO BE A MISSIONARY; WHETHER YOU'RE A DOCTOR WHO JUST GOT A NOBLE PEACE PRIZE OR A MAMA WHO'S JUST CHANGED HER 1,000TH DIAPER.

Our life is our mission field.  We have been commanded by God to go out and tell others about Him.  There's nothing special about me; but my God is awesome!!!  Barrett loves to tell about how people watch and look at us when we go anywhere as a couple or a family.  Some gawk, some laugh, some turn their heads in disgust...We are not the typical family, but we are the family called us to be.  I may never go on a mission trip to a 3rd world country.  But who knows what Dalton and Bobbye Sue may do one day because Barrett and I followed God and were obedient to Him.  He has promised to bless the offspring of the faithful.  A trip to the grocery store my not seem like a big deal to most, but as a Christian I hope that when people look at me they can see that Christ gives me strength.

Shaken To The Core

We recently got Direct TV and access to a DVR in our bedroom.  One of my new "guilty pleasure" is to record "Homekeepers" with Arthelene Rippy.  It's one of the show I've watched off and on for years.  I like it but it's one of the shows that comes on in the middle of the day and I forget about it.
     Anyway, I was watching it last night and she had a woman by the name of Anne Brooks on.  Mrs. Brooks had a daughter in the 60's 0r 70's (They didn't say for sure.  She's written a book called "If I Died, Will You still Love Me." Which I just ordered today.)  The daughter had Cerebral Palsy and she was taken away when she was 3 or so and put in state custody.  Her parents were accused of neglect and abuse.  They were only allowed to see her every now and then.  The parents were Christan and they had raised the girl in their faith, but she was told that it was a lie and that they didn't love her.  She eventually died when  she was 11; her feeding tube was inserted into her lungs instead of her stomach.  It was such a profound, profound story and it really made me stop and think how blessed.
        I was born in 1973 and my parents were told to leave me at the hospital, to go home and forget they ever had a daughter.  It seams so unreal that anyone would tell a parent that.  God certainly did bless me with the right parents.  They fought for me and were able to provide opportunities to me  that MANY disabled children didn't (& still don't) get.  My parents were a gift to me from God & I know I am  walking & talking miracle! 
      I can never say thank you enough; Of course Daddy's in heaven & he's not here for me to thank.  I did call Mama lat night.  But how do you say thank you?  That's right up there (almost) with saying thank you to Jesus for dying for my sins so I can have salvation.  There are no words; no actions; nothing I can do to express my gratitude towards them.  Which I know they don't want my thanks and they did it purely out of love to me and obedience to God, but I'm just having such a time of amazement after hearing Mrs. Brooks story and realizing how truly blessed I am.
        I took a class in college that talked about how different cultures and times in history dealt with sickness and disabilities and it was just mind boggling.    I'm just so thankful to God that I was born in the era I was, the country I was and the family I was.  That was totally ordained by God.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 3 "Hope in the Darkest Hour"

The story of Christ's crucifixion is the ultimate horror story.  You read of this carpenter who promises to save His people from sin and eternal salvation and suddenly He's dead.  As a an avid reader I read some books where the ending's caught me so off guard, I've gone around in a daze for days.  But as Priscilla Shirrer said at a Women of Joy Conference I went to several years ago; "I don't know if you've read the rest of the story, but in the end we win!"
     Life is hard; marriage is hard.  There are days when I don't like Barrett; I love him, but I don't like him.   But I know that we made a commitment to each other and God and if we can just hang on through the rough times,  we'll see the resurrection.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 2

Mathew 26:41 "Watch and pray so that you won't fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

I've never realized how powerful this verse is until right now!!!  I believe it's so important to pray.  Prayer is our most vibrant communication we have with God.  I am to pray for my husband and with him; I am to pray for my kids and with them.  I'm to pray always; without ceasing...

My body is very week.  I wake up every morning thinking: "Today's the day that I become "Susie Homemaker": My house is going to be immaculate, I'll have a delicious, healthy meal on the table promptly at 6, everyone will have clean clothes in the correct drawers, thee kids won't fight and we'll all sing "The Good, Good Daddy's Home" in perfect harmony."

WELL...at the end of the day I realize, once again, that didn't happen.

When I'm not really trying to do my best; watching and praying I will fail.  There are days - & periods of my day - when I truly need to stop and rest.  But, truth be know I can probally push myself a lot hard than I do.

Go Away you Green Eyed Jelous Monster

I'm feeling very jealous tonight.  Two of my sisters-in-law have had babies in the past 4 months and my other sister-in-law is expecting her 4th child in March.  While I am happy for them I'm also envious.  God bless me with two wonderful children after 2 difficult pregnancies.  With Bobbye Sue I went into labor at 27 weeks and I spent 2 months in the hospital.  She was born perfect (as Dalton had been; which was another story.)  It was with a heavy heart that I decided to have my tubes tied when Bobbye Sue was 6 months old.  After much  prayer and discussion with Barrett, we decided we couldn't risk having another baby - the doctors said that I probably would  never carry another baby to term.  I know in my hearts of hearts that I'd have a hard time dealing if I lost a baby due to my inability to carry it.  I feel so bad for any women that losses a child - but know that I had a great chance of losing one - I just couldn't  do it.  I worry that people think that I'm selfish because I did choose to take procedures so I wouldn't have more kids.  I grew up in a family of 7 kids and in a church that really looks down up birth control and having lots of babies.  I can remember when we joined the church when I was 7 - there were four of us kids then - mama said that they had one of the smallest  family  and people wanted to know when they were going to expand their family.  LOL!  So I truly had to pray about this because I do believe that children are gifts from God and true blessings.  God has promised me that I will have other children in my life.  Also, I think I want another kid, but then I start thinking my kids are 12 & 8, do I truly want to start with a little bitty baby.  I don't think so.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Just a little girl time...

I suppose it's because I was raised with all brothers, but I rally cherish my time with my "girl friends".  Don't get me wrong, Barrett is my best friend & I treasure my time with him, but I also need time to connect with other Christan women.  Yesterday I had the opportunity to have lunch with my best friend from college.  She is a busy mama of 3 so we don't  to see each other often.  She works close to my house and now the kids have started back to school,  we're going to try to get together for lunch once a week.  She's a very strong Christan and we just have a very unique friendship.  So excited.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 1

About 5 years ago my friend Jeanne & her husband Mike, gave Barrett and I a gift certificate ate a local Christan bookstore for Christmas.  We got a marriage devotional bible.  As part of "my new year", I'm going to start Reading and blogging on this every day.

Mathew 22:36-39 "Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?
      Jesus replied; "Love the Lord your God with  all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment and the 2nd is like it.  Love your neighbor as yourself."

    When I can truly love others, especially Barrett, the way that I love myself it's amazing but it's so HARD.  I find it easier to love my kids; yes I get discouraged with them at time but in the end I know it's my job to step up and be the "bigger" person.  It's my job as  their mother to make them feel better - not really feel better,  but to more or less make peace. When it comes to Barrett, however, I want him to be the "peace maker".  I have that if he truly loves me, he'll prove it to me by making amends.  Why there  have been times in our marriage he's hurt me; the majority of the time it's been how I perceived the issue that causes the problem.  Instead of loving him like I want to be loved, I want - no expect him to treat and love me the way "I" think "I"should be love.  That's a false love and a lie anyway.  I should not; can not be the judge on how to love or be loved.  This is reserved for God alone.   I can't read Barrett's heart & mind.  I am to love him regardless of if he's showing love to me at that time or not.  I think something interesting in marriage is that we all have our on aspects of love.  I really like Gary Chapman's concept of the 5 Love Languages.  Not only does is give me insight into who Barrett and his way of thinking, but it also show me who I am and how I can adapt better to him.

Thankful Thursday - Getting back to NORMAL

Today I'm just thankful that our life is getting back to normal and getting my house in order and writing more.  Tomorrow my BFF and I are going to lunch.  She works close to my house & I'm going to ask if she wants to come have lunch with me once a week and maybe do a short bible study.  I do feel lonely and isolated at times with Barrett gone to work & my little people gone to school.  It's easy for me to fall into depression and my self therapy is to sleep all day.   I've got to use my time better and focus on doing God's will and not mine.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Homekeeper's Journal - It's Back

The Homekeeper’s Journal ~ August 9

In my kitchen this week ………. I've been trying to stick to menu, it's not really working, but at least I do have a better idea of what I have on hand; so I have an pretty idea what I'm serving & and not rummaging around the house at 5:00 trying to answer the "What's for supper" question.

Around the house ……. School's started back so we're trying to get back into the swing of things.  I've redone my schedule...Now I just have to actually to FOLLOW IT!

The family ….. Dalton started Middle School this week...So far it's gone fine.  Bobbye Sue started 3rd grade.  Barrett has his 1st Saturday Morning  Coaches.  This is he's last free Friday night for  months - until the Christmas break.  So I really need to make it a special family night.
New projects …… Nothing really "new" just trying to get everyone back  on track with school and trying to regain some order.

Ideas …… Fall  is like my "New Year" as I said in an earlier post, so I have like all these ideas on getting more organized and creating a new start an order to our life.

On my mind this week …… A couple at our church lost their 30 year old son in a tragic car wreck.  He leaves behind 2 kids.  The funeral was today and it was so sad.  It's just one of those time in life when something just slaps you in the face and really makes you stop and think how fragile and precious life is.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Simply Sundy - My 2nd New Year Begins

As most Mamas, I have 2 celebration of New Year's.  The first comes on January 1st - as it does for everyone.

The 2nd comes at the start of August, know as "Back To School" time.  For a mom this 2nd New Year is more prevalent than the first , because it means new schedules and routines.  This year is a bit different because Dalton starts middle school and will be riding the bus.  Today I worked my 'new' schedule.  We did a lot of work on  the this summer, and I really need to focus my attention on keeping the house clean and being more on top of things.