Rambling Monday - My Fall Goals

Last week, I blog about how the start of each new school is like my "new" year.  I also  like to redo my  goals at this time of the year..;So here goes:

HOMEMAKING:  - Make my bed every morning.
                                  -Work on one room in the house each day:
                                              -Monday-my bedroom
                                               -Tuesday-bathrooms
                                               -Wednesday-Laundry room
                                                -Thursday-kitchen
                                                 -Friday-living room
                                                 -Saturday-catch up
                                                 -Sunday-Family day
                                    -Clean the kitchen every night before bed


PERSONALLY:          -Walk more
                                    -Blog at least 3X a week
                                   - Do some more blog hops
                                    -Read at least one book per week


SPIRITUALLY:        -Read Bible daily
                                    - encourage others on purpose
                                    -Journal regularly
                                    -listen to/ watch  inspirational speakers
                                   -memorize scriptures, especially those of praise

WIFELY                   -Pray for Barrett daily
                                  - Encourage him
                                   -Don't talk back
                                   -RESPECT him

MOTHERLY           -Pray for Dalton and Bobbye Sue daily
                                  -Listen intently to them.
                                  -Count to 10 and pray before I react to them
                                  -Encourage them daily
                                  -Make it clear that I'm 100% behind the
                                 -RESPECT them

Loving My Husband

Gen 3:16 “Her desire shall be for her husband and he shall rule over her.”

I love my husband so much.  There are seasons in our life where his is crazy busy, and we are currently in one of those seasons.  Every year I struggle with the winter months.  It’s cold and I don’t get out a lot. The kids are busy with school, basketball and girl scouts.  Barrett’s doing so many ball games and life just gets hectic during this time.  I don’t know if I gets more selfish or what, but it’s during this time that I want to be with him the most.  I even threw out last night – out of nowhere may I say – that we take a trip away somewhere just the two of us.  I couldn’t have mentioned at a worst time.  Not that he doesn’t want to spend time with me, he just barely has time to breathe, let alone worry about satisfying my selfishness.  This is the time of year when I need to step up and take care of him.  I need to pray more for him and do those little for him that makes his life easier and less stressful.  I need to ask God to show me what he needs from me.  Last night, I started reading The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick.  Based off the movie, Fireproof, it’s like a 40 day devotional of things you can do to strengthen your relationship with your spouse.  Now, I must admit I have stare to read this book several times before and I haven’t completed it.  But, by the help of God I will persevere and will become a better wife and learn how to love and care for my husband better. 

Made to Crave Blog Hop - I am Holy

To be made holy is to be set apart by God for a specific purpose.

I have been deemed set apart by God for a specific purpose.

Does this make me holy?

 I’m a nobody.  I’m just a crippled middle aged woman in Middle Tennessee.  I’ve never done anything amazing.  My name is not known all over the world.  I don’t make life altering decisions every day that can make or break people.  I’m not a doctor with the next big cure.  I’m not a political leader with some grand suggestion for world peace.  I don’t have a solution to feed hungry kids, or to make parents love their children, nor can I make husbands and wife stay in a marriage where everyone and everything else says throw in the towel.

I’m no one, remember?

But, what if I have been set apart God for a specific purpose?

Leviticus 19:2  ^says, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.’”

It’s easy for us in our human state to doubt that we can be holy because…

       “I’m crippled…”

        “My parents abandoned me…”

        “My spouse rejected me…”

         “I’m overweight…”

This list can go on forever.  It’s been said that if you’re looking for an excuse; you’ll always find one.  But, our holiness has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with God: We are holy because He is holy.

Too often we think that God can’t use us because of our brokenness.  But in all reality, it is through our brokenness that God does use us.  Honestly, I do not know if I’d be a Christian if I wasn’t disabled.  My parents weren’t going to church when I was born.  When it was time for me to start school, they found a Catholic school that was just for disabled students.  My parents choose to put me in there rather than a public school where I would have probably been place into a special education class.

Uhm, set apart…

God knew.  My disability didn’t take Him by surprise.  While I don’t think He caused me to be disabled, I do think He allowed in for my good and for His glory.   Romans 8:28 tells us; “We know that all things work God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” 

 Somehow, my problems and your problems will all reveal God’s glory.  And I don’t have to do anything but get out of His way.  Ahh, but I’m stubborn.  I what people to see what I’ve done; to be impressed with the progress I’ve made.  What about me?  This is my life and I deserve the credit of what happens in my life.  Right.

I tell my kids all the time; “This is my life, I just let you live here.”  OK maybe not the best example.  But, we were created by God to have a relationship with God.  Luke 19:40 says (after Jesus was told by the Pharisees to rebuke His disciples), “’I tell you’ He replied, ‘If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.’”  Wow, if I don’t praise God and give Him glory, the rocks will do it in my place!  I don’t want to miss out on praise and glorifying God.  He made me who I am.  He created me in my mother’s womb.  He choose my parents and my siblings.  He choose Bryan Barrett to be my husband and Dalton and Bobbye Sue to be our children.  I don’t know why He chose to bless me, but He did.

If I’d not been disabled I doubt I’d ever gone to college. I’d never met Barrett or have had these two wonderful kids. 

Yes, I know I’m holy and have been set apart by God for a specific purpose.  Have you?

Barrett ~ My One True Love

Last week was Valentine's Day.  Needless to say this isn't Barrett's favorite holiday.  However, he did surprise me with lunch and this beautiful rose.  

Growing I fell into the trap that many women (and men too, I suppose)  fall into, that February 14th is the most romantic day of the year.  When I was single, I longed to be with someone on this day above all days because I wanted to feel special and loved.

Some of you know the story of how Barrett and I met, but if you don't, here it is:

In May of 1997, I took a 2 week philosophy class.  It had to be one of the hardest classes I ever took.  We were in class 6 hours a day five days a week.  At this point Barrett was doing morning news at WGNS.  So, he would come to the building the class was in about an hour before class.  Soon I found myself getting ther early too, just to talk to him.

I had just been rejected by a guy, and I had started truly praying to meet someone.  I didn't want just someone to "date", I wanted someone I could build a life with.  Many of my friends were getting married and starting their "adult" lives, if  you will and I longed for this too. 

Within 2 weeks of knowing Barrett, I knew this was the guy I would marry.  Everyone thought I was cray.  There was only one slight problem; Barrett just wanted to be "friends".  (Oh, BTW, never tell a guy after 2 weeks of knowing him that you love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him; it may not be received too well.  Just saying). 

So, we began our year of "friendship".  We went out a couple times of week, we spoke on the phone for hours at night.  I spent hours praying and crying myself to sleep at night; hoping that one day he might love me as much as I loved him.

Looking back, I'm so thankful to God for giving us this year of friendship to really get to know each other.  I can truly say, I married my best friend!

Valentine Day 1998 was bitter sweet.  I was in my last year of college.  I was taking 15 hours, plus doing an internship at Domestic Violence.  I was sick and exhausted most of the time.  On Valentine Day, Barrett took me to Crackle Barrel.  No, he didn't confess his dying love to me, but he did get me this throw that I'd had my eye on.

In May, a year after we met he did say he loved me and we were married in November. It'll be 17 years this may since we met.  WOW!!!  Does Barrett always love me like I think he should? No 
Do I always love him like he thinks I should?  NO.  However, I know that if we continual to love the Lord and let Him grow our marriage, it will be very successful.

Made to Crave Blog Hop - Delighting in Obedience

What is obedience?

Obedience is the act of doing what someone ask or tells us to do?

We, as a culture, do not like to obey.

I, as a sinful human do not like to obey,

     In the Women's Devotional Bible,  Moses has just lead the people out of Egypt and received the 10 Commandments from God.  Right after this, the bible starts talking about oxen and slaves and how if someone steals from you, the must repay and how if some mistreats his slave, he may have to set him free for compensation.  I tend to get bored reading this part of the bible.  It just seems like that time and way of life is so far from where we are now, why should we study it?
    Because, it all points to obedience to God.
    Yikes!  Do I want to go there?   Uhm, No.
I was an obedient daughter (most of the time).  Isn't one of the privileges of being an adult that you no longer have to obey anyone?  I mean, doesn't society tells us that the ultimate success comes from being in charge.
      As a married woman, I must say I do struggle with obedience, or need I say it, submission.  Yes, I want to love and serve Barrett, but submit to him?  That's taking thing too far.  I mean I'm a sophisticated lady.  My college degree is made from the same paper Barrett's is.  I shouldn't have to obey him.
     BINGO!  I don't have to obey him.  I choose to obey him, because I love him.  And this is the same reason I choose to obey God.  I love HIM.  If he tells me to do something, then I have trust Him that it's for my good.    Is obeying God always easy; no.  Is it always fun?  no.  But obedience to God gives me peace.  This is where the delight in obedience comes from.    I need to remember 
that the times in my have gone the best or those time in my when I'm being the most obedient to God (and Barrett).    It's not exciting or fancy, but I have a good life.  Psalm 48:10 says; "Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere.  I'd rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tenths of the wicked."    I would much rather be obedient to my Lord and be at peace than be disobedient to God and live my life in shamble  

The Last Days of SUMMER!!!

Hard to believe, but school starts a week from Tuesday.  Bobbye Sue and I are doing our happy dance & Dalton, of course, is dragging his feet and starting to make those loud  moaning noise that cause me to halfway be concerned, but mostly be annoyed.  So, we're trying to sneak in a last few days of "FUN".  Yesterday, we went skating  with some of the  girls from Girl Scouts.  Bobbye Sue's BFF since 2nd grade is moving to Indiana in about a week, so we're trying to see her some.  God is so good...Barrett's niece,  .Kaylei, has came to live with her grandparents.  I think this will soften the blow when her friend moves.  
      So today, we went bowling with my BFF, Becki, and her 3 kids.  We met up with another friend and her daughter  The kids had  a blast and discovered Alex & Dalton LOVE laser tag!!!  I love that our kids are so close and get along, even though we sometimes don't get to see each other a lot.  We laugh at Alex & Dalton, they're always hesitance about getting together, but always fun when they do!   
    As we start this next week, we've really have to transition back to school 'mode'.  We started going to bed early last week, but this week we got to work on GETTING UP EARLY.  Barrett start his new shift this week which we allow him to be home earlier & see the kids more (YEAH!!!!!!!!).  Hopefully, I'll be able to get into a better routine myself; especially with house cleaning and healthy menu planning, & maybe even more time for blogging.  The start of school is always (still) an exciting time for me because it's fresh new star - a new year.    I can't believe I have a 7th grader & a  4th grader.  They're growing up way to fast.  I prayer that God will help be aware & gracious of the days in my little people's lives. 

Tis The Season

Winter is a harsh time of year for me.  And Satan knows it.  I find it ironic that Valentine's Day falls in the midst of winter.  I suppose someone thought it would break up the ho hum of winter.  Barrett schedule picks up and he's gone more often.  I know Barrett loves me.  But sometimes I get lonelyy and after weeks of Valentine's and lovey dovey commercials, I can really start to dissect our marriage and compare it to others.  This is one of the most dangerous roads I ravel and yet I find myself on it year after year!  God must have a sense of humor!  I think Satan tries to use this time of year to divide Barrett and me.  The bad part is each year that I do this, the divide gets larger and larger.  I don't want this!!!  I've got to remember that this it the time of year I've got to be strong and lean when more on God and cast my burdens upon Him, instead of on Barrett

30 Days of Loving and Praying for My Barrett - Day 1: Praying for His Wife

I have very mixed emotions when it comes to praying for Barrett's wife; they go from a humble feeling of "Yes, Thank you God.  I need all the prayer I can get!" to "This isn't about me God.  I know I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing,,,he's the one that needs prayer."  Truth is though it does start with me!  If I'm not giving my all to God and doing my job as wife and mama, then it only makes  Barrett job to be a good husband and father all the harder.  As I've mentioned before we do not have the typical marriage and family life.  Because of my CP, he has to pick up a lot of my slack and do alot of the things a "normal" wife and mama usually does for her family.  One of the things that really stood out in the first chapter  of The Power of a Praying Wife, was that we need to release some (many) of the expectations that we have of our husband.  We can not expect from our husbands what only God can give us.  This also goes back to what Tozer says in The Presuit of God that there is a place in our soul that is reservedfor God alone.  I struggle with this because I am so depended on Barrett in many ways - he says he sometimes feels like he has 3 kids instead of 2.  LOL.   I know it can be very stressful at time for him.  I honestly pray that God always give me the ability to serve Barrett and to let him be the head of our home

30 Days of Loving and Praying for My Barrett

So, as part of the Titus 2 University we are spending the month February, we are discussing loving our  husbands and we are being challenged to pray  for our husband for 30 days.  We are reading The Power of  a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.   Love, love, love this books:  It was of those books I high light and write in: one of those books that I hope  to pass on to Bobbye Sue one day.  It's such a great resource.  I must admit I do sometimes struggle with praying for Barrett.  When he worked in Nashville he had  to be at work at 4:30 in the morning.  After he left for work I'd go back to bed and pray myself to sleep.  I loved this time.  Yes, I still prayed for for Barrett but I have never found quite a connection like I had in this early mornings.  It's been more than four years but  it's still a  struggle at time..This is my heart's desire...to become a more praying wife.  It amazing how together my life feels when I am praying adamantly  I think the topic that I'm most excited about praying for is just for Gods to strengthen our relationship;  to make (keep) us best friend and kindred hearts.  I don't know if  any of these topics scare me.  However, when ever you released something. ssomeone to God it's always a bit scary.    I do trust God - but it's hard to give up that control; even when you realize and know that you have no control anyway  Please pray that I can really work on this.  Thank  you.

Tear Down My Viels, O God

Part of the class I'm taking at the Titus 2 University is that we are reading A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God.  (I am listening to it on CD - I love to read,  but sometimes I learn better if I can hear it.)  In this book, Tozer compares us to the tabernacle of God and how the inner most part of our soul is reserved for God alone; just like the inner most part of the tabernacle was reserved for the high priest.  Through sin and self, though, we try to fill  this spot which is meant for God alone.  This brought a memory to mind of a dear friend and former pastor's wife at our church who taught a class on sin once and the way she explained it one time just blew me away.  She said imagine you can see God-clear as day.  Every tine you sin you put a veil up between you and God that distort your view of Him.  The more you  sin, the thicker the veils are going to become and the harder it is going to be to see God.  Tozer more or less said that we fill our inner spot with so much stuff that's there no room left for God.  This is so easy to do.  I don't want to push God out of tbe way, it just sort of happens.  I get so busy with Barrett, the kids and everything else that before I know it I have a stack of veils before my eyes so thick that I can not see God.
    
Now, I know God is always with me.  While this brings me great comfort, I fear that sometimes I become too nonchalant about God and don't give Him the honor, praise and respect that He deserves. It's almost as if I just expect Him to always be here for me, instead of being grateful that He's always with me.  It's when I let other stuff enter inner most spot, the spot that's reserved for God alone, that I feel cluttered and feel as if God is a "friend" and not the awesome, holy God He is.

I don't want to think of God as mealy a friend.

I want my inner most spot to be for God alone.  But, I must admit, too often I want to have others enter into that inner most  space, especially Barrett and Becki, my BFF.  Probably because these are the two people that I am closest to on earth.  (I'm not excluding my kids - I am close to them.  At times they do want me to be their "friend" and I can well remember so desperately wanting my mama to be me best friend, but that wasn't her job and it's not my job to be my kids "best friend", its my job to be their mama.  It not only helps me -but they need someone besides mama to go to.)  

       Anyway, I digress.  My point is I do want to invite certain people into that "inner spot" that's meant for God alone.   Why???  I'm sure that on any given day I'd have  several different replies to answer this question.   However,  today (and probably most days)  the outstanding answer is "fear".  It's not that I'm afraid of God - although I do believe I have a  healthy reverent respect for God.  But when you have to block everything out and focus on your relationship with God; it does get scary.  You have to stop and really realize what's important in life.  Most  of us aren't mature enough most of the time to face this time alone with God.  So, we do whatever we can  to avoid it.  So we (I) try to fill that inner space with other things or people.  Thinking maybe if I do I can either drown out God or that  He will not rebuke me in front of others.  (UHM, I wonder if God's politically correct or overly concerned about what others think???)

     So I definitely need to work on putting God first!

LIKE A COLD CUP OF COFFEE - I AM A BIT UNIQUE

I like cold coffee; and I'm not just talking iced mocha-although those are a fave - but coffee, cream and sugar.  I love coffee.  I'd love to drink it hot, but because of the CP & muscle spasm, drinking hot beverages doesn't lead to a pleasent sight!  So,it's much easier for me to drink it cooler or even stone cold.  Barrett will fix me a cup  before he goes to work & I'll drink later in the day.

Now, I'm not writing about this just to tell you I like cold coffee.  As I mentioned earlier, I am participating in the Titus 2 University.  Today I was listening to the first audio teaching and it got me thinking of how different I am from the "normal" mom.  Misty Krasawski, owner of the Encouraging Hearts at Home blog,  is a home schooling mom of eight.    She seams the "perfect"  woman.   As I started to listen, at first I felt really intimadated, but as I listened to   what she said about to letting go and letting God have the glory.  This snapped me back into reality.  While I may not be  the typical, "normal" mom, God has made me a mom. and a friend told me years ago that God gave mine children to me and no one else, He's a specific reason for me to be their mother and for them to be my children.  Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."  I am a different kind of mother, but I have faith that I'm  exactly the mother He wants me to be.  So I can keep trudging along, doing the best I can to praise and glorify God.  It's OK to be a different type of mom.

Just like it's OK to drink a cold cup of coffee

New Year - New Me

Can you believe it's 2012???  January, February and March are usually the hardest months of the year for me.  The excitement of Christmas is over, the kids are back in school and Barrett will do a gazillion ballgames in the next 3 month.  It's cold and I usually only get out of the house a few times a week.  Plus the cold weather makes my body stiff and my muscles ache.  My depression tends to worsen in these wintry months.  This is the time when I must rely on my heavenly Father MOST!!!    Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I must stay diligent in prayer and spending time with God.  I've done a really poor job with my blogging the past few months.  I want to get back on track with that.  I just signed up today for The Titus 2 University;  9 months of classes dealing with becoming a better wife and mother.  I've got some books up to read.  Back in November, I hired a lady who comes every 2 weeks and cleans my house; allowing me to keep it cleaner on a daily basis.  So, all-in-all, I'm excited about the new year.  I know if I keep my head focused on God, Barrett and the kids and my home then I can get through the deepest valley Satan tries to push me in to.

Simply Sundy - My Thoughts on Marriage

 Today I'm thankful that God has blessed me with a wonderful husband who loves me regardless of my many faults.  I am so undeserving.  Now, while my spiritual hearts knows this to be true too often my humanity tries to take over and gets in the way.  I start to thinking that Barrett "owes" me.  That he's the one who should be thankful because I'm so good to him.  I want him to think this way.  As little girls we grow up with this idea that we're going to meet, fall in love with and marry someone who thinks that we're just the sweetest, prettiest woman in the world and that we could do no wrong, even if we tried.
     Much I hate admit it; while I'll always think of Barrett as my Prince Charming, I am no princess.  I am not the perfect wife.  I fail him in every way.  Thankfully, he loves me anyway. It doesn't depend on how clean my house is or how delicious my meals are. Why I do want to try to keep a clean house and all that.  The bible says that God knows our heart.  We are very fortunate that God looks beyonds the actions to the heart.  If  our heart our right in trusting Him, then our actions - i.e. sins - are drenched in Jesus' blood and made as white as snow. 
        Marriage is the closet relationship that people can have this side of heaven; in fact marriage is the picture of Jesus and His church in the New Testament.  If God cared enough to place man and women in such a relationship with each other that it reflects His relationship with His people, how much does He think of it?  It really makes me stop and go; "WOW!"
        We live in a society that doesn't put much stock in marriage anymore.  It's no longer seen as a necessity.  I must admit that Barrett and I did live together for about six months before we got married; I think we both had our own reasons for doing so.  I think Barrett was unsure about marring someone with a disability, while I was more afraid that if I said "no", he'd leave me and go find someone else.  I was so immature!  He fell in love with me.  I didn't make him and he didn't choose it.  God gave us to each other.   Just as I didn't choose to follow God; He chose me to follow Him.
      Marriage is a honor;  not a curse, something I deserved or even something that I even have the right to want.  I do believe that it and motherhood are 2 of the highest callings that a woman can have.  It is truly a call to service. 

Twistable Tuesday - Fall Break

Hard to believe, but my little people are on fall break this week...  So far it's been an OK week.  Today we went to the library and then Barrett picked us up and we went to supper at Toots.  Then we went and saw Dolphin Tales; such a great inspirational, family movie.  Of, course now Bobbye Sue wants a pet fish and go to the Clear Water Aquarium in Florida and visit the real Winter the Dolphin.  We're not doing too much the rest of the week.  On Friday, Dalton's going to a church lock in and Bobbye Sue's BFF is spending the night - can't call it a sleep over, as I'm sure not much sleeping will be going on...LOL

Thankful Thursday - It's been a while!

Sometimes I feel like  I'm running around in circles. There are so many things I want to do and many time -especially during certain times of the months I'm just exhausted and it seams to take all my energy to do the basics things.  This is when I realize how thankful I am for God's pure, free and simple grace!  I don't have to have a spotless house or blog everyday  to ensure the God love me.  I don't have to be a replica of Carol Brady to prove that I'm a good wife and mother.  All I have to do is love and care  for Barrett and the kids the way God directs me top.  Do I succeed at this everyday???  NO!  However, He still loves me.  He convicts me when I do wrong and He also acknowledges and confirms me when I'm doing the best I can.  I think this is why I can lay down in a house that's not spotless and with chaos all around me and I can rest in PEACE

Created to Be His Help Meet - Ch 1: God's Gift

What does being a help meet mean?   To be a help meet to Barrett means I am to serve him and help him in his life and service to God.

"A wise woman doesn't take anything for granted.  She is thankful to be loved and seeks to make herself more lovely." ~ Debi Pearl.

Just because Barrett (was forced to, as he'd jokingly say) put a ring on my hand, doesn't mean that I'll automatic get his love (willing) for the rest of my life.  Yes, we both made promises to love and care for each other, but if I'm not giving my all to him as a wife then his love for me is going to change.  Barrett's a very loyal man, especially to  his family.  There's not doubt in my my mind that Barrett will do whatever he needs to to take care of me.  But I want him to want to care for me.  I don't want to be a burden on him.  Now, Barret and I are in a unique situation because the is a certain amount of limitations that do put a lot of stress on Barrett because there are things that I can't do and/or there may be times where I may need more help than at other times.  I'm so grateful Barret does this, but this is not God's plan.   I was created to be Barrett's wife; to fulfill a need and be a "good thing" for him.   I was created to make him complete.  It just amazes me to think that God created a man just for me and that he made be just for Barrett.  My job as Barrett's help meet is to look around and she what I can do to help my husband; to ease his burden.  I must admit; I could do a lot better at this.  I love Barrett.  Many wives say "Well, I shouldn't have to earn his love."  They're right, you don't have to earn his love, but that's not what being a good help meet is about.  I want to serve Barrett because I love him, not because I want hime to love me more`.

Could you Talk to Your Husband That Way?

OK, so one of my "guilty pleasures" is watching the TV show "Bridezillas" on WE TV.  (I know I should but...)  Anyway, it's a very humorous, but sad  thing to see  how women treat the men that they are about to dedicate the rest of their life.  I'm by no means saying that I'm the perfect wife; I've said and done  things in the heat of the moment that I'm sure have  scared Barrett to the the core.  I just can't imagine talking to some one in such a negative, aggressive way.  I totally believe that when I speak negatively to my husband it breaks his  spirit.  I can think of many (older) couples who've been married for a while that take on the traits of the other spouse - the husband starts acting like the wife and the wife starts acting like the husband.  While it is very natural to become like the people who you are around  alot  - especially  those who you live.  However, I think  more often than that after years of being treated badly; that men become meek and let the woman  take control and thus the women decide that it is their duty to step up and take charge.  I remember sitting in a Sunday School with Barrett when we first got married; we were studying Adam and Eve and I suddenly understood Genesis 3:16 as I never have before.  It says; "...Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you."  I think most of us think of this as we should have physically desire for our husbands.  In a way this is true - we are to physically desire our husbands, but I believe it goes so much deeper.  Because of sin I have a natural desire to be in control, even to control Barrett.  Yes he knows all about his job  but I (THINK) I know what best for our family.   

Bobby Sue's Friday Night Jaunt to the ER.

So, it was the first "normal" Friday night of football season.   Can you tell I'm married to a sports announcer??? Barrett was gone to a game.  I had ordered pizza and was folding clothes and watch TV(and listening to the radio).  The kids were outside playing with the neighbors.  Suddenly, Dalton ran in and called "Mama!" with that voice that said, "There's something really wrong here."
      Bobbye Sue comes back to my room.  She was covered in blood from her nose to her throat.  At first, I wasn't sure where the blood was coming from.  I got her laying down on the bed and got the bleed stopped enough to see it was from her nose.  She said her (right) wrist hurt and the was I big knot on it,  and she cringed whenever I touched her.
     I told Dalton to call Granddaddy (Barrett's dad) and I hurried to get ready to go.  She was crying; Dalton kept saying, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
     Piece by piece, I gradually begin to comprehend what had happened.  Apparently they were "experimenting" with a new was to use the tire swing.  She was lying on top of the tire, holding the rode and Dalton was swinging her by her legs.  (This is something I can imagine my brothers and I doing years ago.)
Well, needless to say, her hand slipped and she kissed the dirt.  It's been rrumored that there was a dog leash involved too, but I chosen to close my "Mama" eyes to that little bit of information. 
     So we head off to the ER to find that Bobbye Sue did fracture her wrist.  (& yes, she is right handed and it is the start of a new school year.)   
     I must say, I'm really proud of Dalton; he stepped up and took care of his baby sister.  All went well until she asked him to hold the other hand while the doctor splinted the other and Dalton squeezed it too hard.  His reasoning; to divert the pain.

Ahhh, I gotta love my little people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 7 "The Risk Of Public Allegiance"

Mark 5:21-43

Here, we are told of two people who pronounce the faith  in God. These were two people can we say, they may not have ever even be suspected to believe in God; one was a upright Jewish leader and the other was a lowly woman who had been cast aside because of a illness she had no control of. 
    Yet they both in their time  of need turned to Jesus; the knew he was their last hope..Too often our pride gets in the way of faith.  I wonder how many Jewish leaders missed out on wonderful blessing simply because they were afraid of what others may think?  How many people in current times miss out on blessing for that same reason?  How many blessings have I missed out on????
     In my marriage ~ how many time have I missed out on chance to be close to and love Barret just because I wanted to be right???  I'm married to a man who's right about 95% of the time and thinks he's right the other 5% of the time.  Being raised by a Daddy who felt the same way; along side brothers who were taught to believe this; I also believe this.  I'll fight you to the core just to prove my point.    While this was the way I was raise and was sometimes necessary for a girl growing up with a disability.  It's not a good quality for a wife to have going into a marriage.  There were times - even no - when I may go along with Barrett, but I don't do it with a humble, submissive heart.  It's my pride.   I want to be right, I want to prove that I'm a strong, independent woman who can take care of herself.  By acting this way, all I do is alienate Barrett.  He always says "I don't know who you think you're fooling, because you're not fooling me!"
I really need to work on being joyful & content in all things, no matter what the circumstances as Paul spoke of in Philippians 4:11.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 6 "Who's in the Driver's Seat

Mark 4:35-40

New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm

 ³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”  ³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
 ⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”


Why is it so hard to?  To trust God? To trust Barrett?

I'm not a good "in charge" person; Barrett knows this, my little people know this & most people who know me know (& would agree 20 fold)  Giving a normal, calm state of mind, I don't normally wish to take charge of things.   However,  due to the fact that the state of my mind is neither calm nor normal, I can assure you I let myself get into all types of sorts of situations that require me to make decision that I usually fail at.

That being said, when I'm not  in charge I start to feel anxious.  I naturally want to have the ultimate control.   I think submission to Barrett is one of the hardest things about marriage.  I'm naturally a selfish person.  Plus, growing up I was taught to fight for what I wanted; what I need...It was a survival mechanism.    But, I've got to learn to choose my battles.  Even though Barrett's right 99.9% of the  time.