Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thankful Thursday & Up Coming Blessings

So, today is thankful Thursday & I got some news this week that I'm extreamly thankful for (I think).  I may have  a disorder that could explain alot in my life.  A lot of the depression, fatigue, mood swings exc that has plagued me for most of my life may not be my fault.  I may not have all the answers yet, but just knowing gives me hope

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Tear Down My Viels, O God

Part of the class I'm taking at the Titus 2 University is that we are reading A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God.  (I am listening to it on CD - I love to read,  but sometimes I learn better if I can hear it.)  In this book, Tozer compares us to the tabernacle of God and how the inner most part of our soul is reserved for God alone; just like the inner most part of the tabernacle was reserved for the high priest.  Through sin and self, though, we try to fill  this spot which is meant for God alone.  This brought a memory to mind of a dear friend and former pastor's wife at our church who taught a class on sin once and the way she explained it one time just blew me away.  She said imagine you can see God-clear as day.  Every tine you sin you put a veil up between you and God that distort your view of Him.  The more you  sin, the thicker the veils are going to become and the harder it is going to be to see God.  Tozer more or less said that we fill our inner spot with so much stuff that's there no room left for God.  This is so easy to do.  I don't want to push God out of tbe way, it just sort of happens.  I get so busy with Barrett, the kids and everything else that before I know it I have a stack of veils before my eyes so thick that I can not see God.
    
Now, I know God is always with me.  While this brings me great comfort, I fear that sometimes I become too nonchalant about God and don't give Him the honor, praise and respect that He deserves. It's almost as if I just expect Him to always be here for me, instead of being grateful that He's always with me.  It's when I let other stuff enter inner most spot, the spot that's reserved for God alone, that I feel cluttered and feel as if God is a "friend" and not the awesome, holy God He is.

I don't want to think of God as mealy a friend.

I want my inner most spot to be for God alone.  But, I must admit, too often I want to have others enter into that inner most  space, especially Barrett and Becki, my BFF.  Probably because these are the two people that I am closest to on earth.  (I'm not excluding my kids - I am close to them.  At times they do want me to be their "friend" and I can well remember so desperately wanting my mama to be me best friend, but that wasn't her job and it's not my job to be my kids "best friend", its my job to be their mama.  It not only helps me -but they need someone besides mama to go to.)  

       Anyway, I digress.  My point is I do want to invite certain people into that "inner spot" that's meant for God alone.   Why???  I'm sure that on any given day I'd have  several different replies to answer this question.   However,  today (and probably most days)  the outstanding answer is "fear".  It's not that I'm afraid of God - although I do believe I have a  healthy reverent respect for God.  But when you have to block everything out and focus on your relationship with God; it does get scary.  You have to stop and really realize what's important in life.  Most  of us aren't mature enough most of the time to face this time alone with God.  So, we do whatever we can  to avoid it.  So we (I) try to fill that inner space with other things or people.  Thinking maybe if I do I can either drown out God or that  He will not rebuke me in front of others.  (UHM, I wonder if God's politically correct or overly concerned about what others think???)

     So I definitely need to work on putting God first!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Titus 2 University - JUST GIVE UP; WHY THROWING IN THE TOWEL MIGHT BE THE BEST THING YOU DO THIS YEAR

Your personality; How striving affects your family.

What are your core beliefs?  Your M.O.?  What's the driving force in your life?  What prehaps never before acknowledge belief is running your life?  I believe that the purpose at this time in my life is to be a good wife and mother.  I want our home to trully be a refuge for them, a safe haven for them to come in and escape the preasures of life.

How do you think this belief affects your family?  When I truly focus on the belief and practice it there's peace and harmony in my home.

Do you deal with prefectionism as a mom?  UHM, how to answer this???  If you asked my Type A husband if I was a prefectionist, he'd answer you with a stern "NO!" in between laughs.  Not to many things in my life occur the way I plan them to.  Of course I want to be the perfect /ideal mom, but I fail daily.  Many times I feel that if I can't be perfect why try at all???

Prefection isn't God's will for you.

"Our children will feel the need for God through many things in life...including your failures."

Does this rub you the wrong way?  No, how we handle failures tells alot about our relationship with God and our beliefs.

Do you strive for prefection?  How does it make you feel that God will use your flaws to reach the heart of you kids?  Why it is scarey to have your kids to see your flaws, they need to know that
we are human and make mistakes just like they do.

Read 2 Cor 4:7-11 "The probleml; we're just Earthen Vessels...yup, dirt and water."

What are some areas in your life, where you pretty aware of being "just earth"?  Whenever I meet another woman who appears to "have it all".

Does it makes better to know that because we're imperfect the glory goes to God?  As a Christain woman, yes of course I want God to have the glory, but as a human woman I want the glory.

In what areas in your life do you find it most  difficult to accept dying to yourself?  In just knowing that someone more able could be a better wife and mother to Barrett and the kids.

Does it help knowing that all this is "for Jesus sake"?  Yes, because it gives me hope that God does have a purpose for me and that there's a very devine plan for my life. 

The Promise?  His life!

When has Jesus' life shown up or been manifested when you were just to tired, weary or overwhalmed to go on?  Uhm, I've got to say I've never really thought about it.  But Luke 9:23 comes to mind.  It says; "...Whoever wants to be my disciple must take up their cross daily and follow me."   I can't say it doesn't get hard at times, but this is my life on earth.  Because of Jesus' love and sacrafice for me ensures me that my life in heaven will be perfect and this gives me hopee to carry on.  

What would it look like for you to choose to live like Jesus did - and does?  What needs to change?  I'd have to stop being so selfish.

What are some areas in which I need to really renew God's vison for my family?  First of all, I need to truly pray for God's wisdom.  I definitely know I need to work on preparing healthier meals andd keep the house cleaner.    I need to be a more patient and suportive wife and mother.

Just a qucik thought...

I've got about 30 minutes until Bobbye Sue gets home from school.   I should be cleaning but blogging is a lot more fun!!!  I'm feeling really blessed today, no particular reason.  It's just amazing to see God at work in my normal, day-to-day life.  His blessings are truly renewed every morning.  Some people thing that you have to see the big and mighty that God does to truly be in His presence.  This is so untrue!  While I love to see God do mighty and amazing things, usually I feel  most in his presence in the quiet times, when I'm just going through the normalcy of my day.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

LIKE A COLD CUP OF COFFEE - I AM A BIT UNIQUE

I like cold coffee; and I'm not just talking iced mocha-although those are a fave - but coffee, cream and sugar.  I love coffee.  I'd love to drink it hot, but because of the CP & muscle spasm, drinking hot beverages doesn't lead to a pleasent sight!  So,it's much easier for me to drink it cooler or even stone cold.  Barrett will fix me a cup  before he goes to work & I'll drink later in the day.

Now, I'm not writing about this just to tell you I like cold coffee.  As I mentioned earlier, I am participating in the Titus 2 University.  Today I was listening to the first audio teaching and it got me thinking of how different I am from the "normal" mom.  Misty Krasawski, owner of the Encouraging Hearts at Home blog,  is a home schooling mom of eight.    She seams the "perfect"  woman.   As I started to listen, at first I felt really intimadated, but as I listened to   what she said about to letting go and letting God have the glory.  This snapped me back into reality.  While I may not be  the typical, "normal" mom, God has made me a mom. and a friend told me years ago that God gave mine children to me and no one else, He's a specific reason for me to be their mother and for them to be my children.  Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."  I am a different kind of mother, but I have faith that I'm  exactly the mother He wants me to be.  So I can keep trudging along, doing the best I can to praise and glorify God.  It's OK to be a different type of mom.

Just like it's OK to drink a cold cup of coffee

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Titus 2 University

I'm embarking on a new journey this year.  I have enrolled in The Titus 2 Univerisity.  It's 9 months of classes discussing the concepts of the Titus 2 woman.  I will be doing my "school work" on my blog, so stay tuned.

Friday, January 6, 2012

New Year - New Me

Can you believe it's 2012???  January, February and March are usually the hardest months of the year for me.  The excitement of Christmas is over, the kids are back in school and Barrett will do a gazillion ballgames in the next 3 month.  It's cold and I usually only get out of the house a few times a week.  Plus the cold weather makes my body stiff and my muscles ache.  My depression tends to worsen in these wintry months.  This is the time when I must rely on my heavenly Father MOST!!!    Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I must stay diligent in prayer and spending time with God.  I've done a really poor job with my blogging the past few months.  I want to get back on track with that.  I just signed up today for The Titus 2 University;  9 months of classes dealing with becoming a better wife and mother.  I've got some books up to read.  Back in November, I hired a lady who comes every 2 weeks and cleans my house; allowing me to keep it cleaner on a daily basis.  So, all-in-all, I'm excited about the new year.  I know if I keep my head focused on God, Barrett and the kids and my home then I can get through the deepest valley Satan tries to push me in to.