Monday, January 26, 2015

Grieving Daddy on Facebook

     Recently,  two good friends of mine lost the fathers.  Angela Braach lost her sweet Daddy on November 23, 2014 and Katie Taylor lost her dear ole dad on December 2, 2014.  As I've watched and prayed  for for my friends and their families,  I've been taken aback 9 years to when my Daddy died on July 10, 2006.
    My daddy was sick for about 16 years with kidney issues.  I went to bed many nights just knowing that I would get a phone call before the sun rise; telling me that he didn't make it.   He was on Dialysis for the better part of those years - 3 or 4 days a week.
     I wish I could say that my daddy and I were always close and that I was always there for him.  Our life, our family's life, was quite complicated.  I spent years being angry at my daddy.  He made some choices in his life that I felt devastated from.  They were choices that not only hurt me as a daughter, but also as a Christian.  It is hard for a daughter to see her father sin and make mistakes.  I knew my daddy loved me and he knew I loved him, but there were things that I couldn't get past, & know I'm kicking myself now because all that did was wasted precious time that I could have spent with my Daddy.  Time that I can never get back.
     As hard as it is for a daughter to realize her daddy made mistake; it's even harder to think of her daddy not being in Heaven waiting for her.  I can remember a couple of Christmases before he died talking to him; pleading for him to turn to God and seek forgiveness.  He said no, that he had committed the unforgivable sin and had grieved the Holy Spirit.  It was then that I began to reverently pray that he  would turn  back to God.  I was so relived and rejoiced when Lisa told me at the funeral that two night before he died he asked for forgiveness and accepted Christ.
     God and time has a way of healing a broken heart.  Although I still greatly miss my daddy, I can now look back  on his life, and on our life as father and daughter,  and can truly see God's love and work and can say that I know and believed my daddy in walking in the presence of God.
     While I'm unaware of the struggles that my friends Angela and Katie had with their on fathers, it is my prayer that they can look pass them, they they can see their father truly for who God truly made him to be.  They are grieving now, but I pray that will wake up one day and  the sadness will be replaced with only sweet memories.  I love you both dearly and you are both in my prayers.

Friday, January 16, 2015

A New Year Has Dawned...

...Yes I do realize its already January 16, but it's not to late to start with new beginnings. I think the thing I want to do most -alwaays- is to renew my relationship with God; to read my bible and to pray more.  All you gotta do is turn on the news or even log into Face Book to see how desperate this ole world.  I want to be as close to the Creator as I can get so that He can shield me from the evil one.  I want him to guide my every step; least I fall in to temptation.
      I want to eat better and walk / exercise more.  I want to have more energy and not so much.  I'm being treated for sleep  apnea.  I have a CPAP machine and we are suppose to be getting our Sleep Number bed next week; Thursday!!!  Bobbye Sue Girl Scout troop is also starting to work on their badge: Eating For Beauty.  Hoping this will be inspiring.
     I want to keep my house clean and stay on top of things such as laundry & meal planing, etc. 
     I want to write, journal and blog more.  I know this is my most passionate and creative out let and I need to use it more.
     I want to read more.  Been watching way too much TV lately.  I have so many books I've order and haven't read (mostly from my favorite online book store CBD!)  Plus I have a tablet with a Kindle app.  So, I'm definitely not "book poor".
     I want to be kinder to others and to encourage them more.  I believe that one of my spiritual gifts is to be  encouraging to others and I need to be more faithful in doing this.
    And the last one, I'm almost afraid to write down.  For the last couple years the thought of being an inspirational speaker has crossed my mind.  I've prayed about it some and need to pray about it much more.  This calling HAS to come from the LORD.  I really think it be a cool thing, but only if all the glory goes to God

So, that's it.  I have a lot of work and a lot more praying to do!  Please pray with  and for me that I will become the person god has called me to be!