Friday, January 31, 2014

2014 GOALS

All this talk of planing and getting closer to God has made me eager to make some goals for this year.  Yes, I know tomorrow is the 1st of February, but I wanted to make some true goals and think and pray that I would set goals that God want me to follow.  As I discussed in my last post; Made to Crave - Chapter3 - Getting a Plan, I like the idea of making plans and goals, but the act of following through can be a problem for me.  But here goes:

-Read through the Women's Devotional Bible.
-Blog at least 3 times a week
-Try to do more blog hop
-Keep my house reasonably clean
- To create a healthy meal plan for my family.
- Get on a "normal" sleep schedule (I've actually just got the book, THE EARLY TO RISED EXPERIENCE by Andy Traub)

So, we'll see.  Please pray that I'll be successful in meeting these goals.  Thank you. 

Made to Crave - Chapter 3 - Getting a Plan

1.  What thoughts, images or emotions do you associate with the word plan?  I'm not by nature a planner.  I'd like to be but, at last, I find myself having all these great ideas, but when it's time to follow through, I lack gumption.  I'm married to a typical type A man who is organized and it absolutely drives him crazy that I'm not.  In fact, my lack of planning and organizing causes friction in our marriage than anything else.  UHM, I wonder how much of this is done self-consciously on my part???

2.  Are there areas in your life where planning does work for  you?  I guess so, we make plan for like vacations and stuff.  I have started reading a Women's Devotion Bible at night and another devotional in the morning - so far I've been keeping up with them both.  When it comes to food, it's the same way. I have good ideas, good intentions, but when it comes time to put it in motion, I always find myself falling short.

3.  What is the relationship between food and secrets?  Oh, this is deep... Food is the friend that never tells on you.  You can cry out to food, yell at it, tell it your joys and your fear and it offers instant  gratification.  It offers comfort and safety.  When other things leave us empty, food fills us up, at lease for a while.

4. Choosing a health life style can sometimes require extra effort.   Because of my physical limitations the idea of making extra such a seeing a doctor, join a fitness club or even  cooking healthier can be a challenge.  However, I can not use these as an excuse not to try to do my best in this journey.

5.  What words or phrases would describe the meal plan that would work for you?  Basic, simple,  EASY!!!    I'm sure if I continue  to pray and seek God's plan, He'll lead me to victory.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Made to Crave Blog Hop - # DETERMINATION

What is Determination?  It's that fire in you belly that causes you fight for what most say is a losing battle.  Determination has been a key word in my vocabulary since the day I was born.  I wasn't suppose to live.  In fact, as I've shared before, the doctors suggested that my parents leave me at the hospital and forget they had a baby girl.  Thankfully, God had given them insight to say no, this child will make it.  I can never thank them enough for not giving up on me.  Normal milestones were deemed impossible for me, yet one by one, I conquered them all - sometime doing so in my own unique way.  
     However, I've notice that as I get older determination has been harder to find.  I'm tired, not just physically tired, although I am that too,  but I seamed to have lost my mojo.  I've been living in survival mode for way too long.  I've been doing just the minimal to get by - just to be satisfactory.  This is no longer acceptable.   I need to be the best I can be at all times, giving 110% in all I do.  
     This study on MADE TO CRAVE   needs to light a fire in my belly!  Not just to eat better, but to crave God in ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE!  I pray that God increase my desire to do God's will and to be the best wife and mother I can be .

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Made to Crave - Chapter 2

1. When it comes to your relationship with food, what repeated behaviors or events describe the cycle you experience and feel powerless to stop?    I think my biggest cycle problem is that I eat what's convenient  I don't eat at regular times and so by the time I do eat I just grab anything and I just eat to fill myself up, but I end of eating out of boredom

2.  -What reason motivate you to eat healthier?  I want to feel better and be more active as a mother
     - Do those reason give your struggle with food a purpose strong enough to help your resist unhealthy eating?  They should, but I'm not the strong, 
      - How do you respond to Lysa' statement; "I had to see the purpose of my struggle as something more than wanting smaller sizes and getting compliments from others...It had to be about something other than just me."    WOW!!!  This so true.  I always feel better when I can get out of myself and do stuff  for others.  I may be a people pleaser, but it's almost like an adrenaline rush to help others.  This may not politically correct, how ever I believe that my job as a wife and mother is to take care of my family.  

 3.  What are some of these reason I turn for food?
        I eat when I'm happy,
        I eat when I'm sad, 
        I eat when I'm lonely, 
       I eat when I'm bored.
       I eat for various reason.
     How would things be different if I craved God Other than food in these situations?  It would have improved it greatly.  I really need to search for God first.  

4.  How do you respond as using your cravings as a prompt to pray?  Love this idea!!!
     How had prayer helped you or failed to help in my previous battles with food?  Honestly, I've never thought about them in this sort of way.  It easy to put God on a shelf and only take Him off when we want Him to benefit us.  
     In your battle with food are you more like to choose a quick fix diet or a long term change the way you eat solution? At this point in time.  I really revamp how our family eats and even thinks about food
     What thoughts or feelings emerge when you think of changing the way you think about food?  I am scared to reach out and try to eat better.  Do I try something that I've tried and failed a million times before?  In previous attempts to lose weight, one of my  biggest struggles has been that I get bored, as my husband says you can only eat chicken and green beans, so many meals in a row.  I also struggle, as many do of moms in today's economy, with the price of healthy food.  It also takes time and energy to fix healthy meals, which I do have, but I must admit, I don't always use my time and energy efficiently.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Silly Saturday - Back to the original Crippled Mama

So, this week I've been really trying to blog some and I created a new blog because I haven't kept up with this one, but I'd put a lot of time and effort into this one and I didn't want to lose.  So in the end, my good friends Mr. Copy and Mrs. Paste helped me to transfer everything from my new blog back here to my old  blog.  However, I've been noticing that a lot of the blogs I  follow, the authors sometimes take long hiatuses.  So maybe I'm not to far off track either. 


Friday, January 24, 2014

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 1:What's really going on here?

1)  If you could personify cravings, what would it look like?  I'm constantly hearing voices.  Most of these voices carry a negative undertone and usually sound like my daddy, my older brother, my father-in-law, an older lady at church or anyone who I feel is against me.  Remember those old cartoons where people have a good angel on one shoulder; and they are in a battle over right and wrong.  The good angel is calm and collective and the evil angel is wishy washy character ~a lot like me.

2.  How do you respond that God made us to crave?  I so love this.  When I'm truly following God with all my heart and soul, I desire more and more of Him.  However, when I am living in my sinful ways, I crave things that aren't always good for me.

3.  Could there be any benefits to cravings? Yes I think so.  God created us to have an intimate relationship with Him.  It is when we don't feel these cravings with God, but with anything else then our cravings can never be truly satisfied. 

4.  The bible says that Satan uses cravings, lust of the eyes and boasting to draw us away from God.  How have you dealt with things lately?
      Cravings - 2 of my biggest cravings are unhealthy food and sleep.  Yes,  I said sleep.  It's nothing for me to sleep 12 hours a day.  I justify it by saying my  CP wears me out and I need to save my strength for when my kids and Barrett, and while this is true I LOVE to sleep and to dream.  It give me peace.  This craving is worse in the winter because it is so cold and the cold stiffens my body.  However, my craving for unhealthy foods and sleep are probably directly related...UHM,  I really need to think and pray on this.
     Lust of the eyes -  we live in such  a visual world.  I must admit I love to watch a young couple in love and I realized I miss that.  I know that Barrett loves me with all his heart and soul.  I know that he's not a real touchy feely person.  I need to learn to accept Barrett for who he is and be satisfied by what he gives me.
     Boasting - Uhm, can't I just skip this one.  Something else I crave is ATTENTION!!  My husband is somewhat a local celebrity;  He works on the local radio station.  Everywhere we go in town he's known.  Proverbs 31:23  says "Her husband is know at that gates, Where he sits among the elders of the lands."  While I love being married to such a leader, sometimes as a lowly homemaker I must honestly sometimes I miss not being noticed or needed until something goes wrong.
5.  Do I ever use scripture to defeat temptation?  Yes sometimes, but not nearly as often as I need to.

Made To Crave Blog Hop: Desires

I must admit, I've fallen behind in my reading of Made to Crave this week.  The Barrett house hold is undergoing some major changes this week.  We've been rearranging bedrooms.  Because I snore and cough so much at night, Barrett wasn't sleeping.  Dalton-who just got a new bedroom about 2 years ago, got in trouble last week as punishment lost his room.  So Barrett took Dalton's  old room for he's office/bedroom, Bobbye Sue moved into  Barrett's office (she'd been in her room since she was born and wanted a change, and Dalton got Bobbye Sue's old room.  Confusing right???  I'm the big winner here; I get too keep the big master bedroom!

As Dalton would say; I've been a glass case of emotions this week.  On one hand I'm kinda excited to be getting my "OWN" room, but on the other hand I feel guilty because I can no longer share a room with my husband.  You have these expectations that a married couple always sleeps in the same room.  But as I've been researching on the web and having separate bedrooms for couples is not too uncommon, in fact it's even termed a "sleep divorce".  I know that God can use this for good if I let him.

Cravings are a strange thing.  It's our mind tricking us into thinking we desperately tricking us into thinking we NEED something,  In reality, all we truly NEED is God,  If we live and depend on him, He'll supply everything.  I have been called to be a wife and mother, where I lay my head at night shouldn't matter.  Yes, my desire is to be for my husband, but when that desire is stronger than my desire for God, I have a problem.  And truth be told, I have often let my desires for Barrett become stronger than my desire for God.  I get caught up in the fact that Barrett is physically here with me; I can see and touch him.  Sometimes I don't like is with me - But there is go relying on my feelings again.  James 4:8 says; "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  I must allow my cravings to come from God and not earthly desires.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

When He Says Nothing At All

      Growing up in Nashville, Tn, I loved country music.  The songs seamed so romantic.  I always wanted a love story like was on the radio.  One song that stands out is Paul Overstreet's "You say it best when you say nothing at all".  I always wanted to be loved and know so well that we didn't have to talk at all.  Today I realized that after 15 years of marriage Barrett and I are finally there!  Something happened last night and we had to confront Dalton about something kinda risque.  It was so nice, and revealing to realized that we're on the same page that we can just look at each other and have a whole a conversation without saying a word.  I so love my husband.

Friday, January 17, 2014


     As a mother, they say that is job from they day they are first born that your job is to prepare them to leave.  When they're little they are so dependent on you, so much so it can be overwhelming.  I remember after Dalton was born just feeling so scared and thinking.  "Why did God give me a baby?  I can barely care for myself, let alone this little one." In fact, I'm one of those people who have a thousand  great ideas a day, but I don't always have the umph to follow through.  In the back of my mind was always the fear of what happens if I wake one day and decide this isn't what I want.  (Typical thoughts of a child of a broken family).  As a Christian woman I vowed to be the best mother I can be.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I've pour out everything I have to my family.  But something happens to kids; they do grow up..  Suddenly the little boy who wouldn't leave my side is embarrassed to be with me,  and the little girl who wouldn't get out of my sight is sneaking into her bedroom for a giggly gossip phone chat with her latest BFF.
      I know that if I've done my job as a mother right, then I know that they'll make the right choices.  As much as I want them to need me,  I know that they need to be self - sufficient.  Because of my CP, my kids have learned that there are simply some thing Mama can't do, so they've to sort step up to the plate and fend for themselves.  My kids are now 14 and 11,  they still need me, just in another capacity.  No one can love them like I can.  No one can pray for them like I can.  We're just a few years away from them want to hang out Friday night at ball games with friend instead of pizza and a movie with Mama.  While I may not always be happy with their decisions, I want them to know Mama will always be here at the end of the day.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

My Favorite Scripture

On Sunday January 19 I’m going to start participating in an online study of the book Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst over at  On Thursdays, there’s going to be doing a blog hop where they provide topics and you choose one to blog about.  The topic I chose today was What is your favorite scripture?  While I believe ALL scripture is inspired by God, my life verse is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  As a disabled woman, this verse means so much to me because like it or not, there are limits on my life.  I’m never going to race in the Indy 500 or dance on Broadway, but that’s OK because I can do whatever God ask me to do.  From the moment I was born, I’ve gone against what people have said and believed of me.  I know none of it is because of me but because God has cared for me and allowed me to do these things 

Thursday, January 9, 2014


     Yesterday, I said that my word for the year is GODLY.  Uhm, I probably need to define this both for my readers and myself.  According to,  godly is defined as 1) have a great reverence for God; pious and 2) divine.  Now before I start, let me assure you I'm no where close to God, nor do I claim to be.  Our pastor tells us that God is like a blacksmith and that He pounds on metal and burns it in fire until it has no flaws in it and all He can see is His own reflection.  I believe our ultimate goal in this life is to be like Jesus.  Yes, he created us all as unique individuals, but we are to love and treat others as He does.  
       While the bible is full or examples of godly women, there are two that I have chosen to model my life after: The Proverb 31 and the Titus 2 Woman.  I know both these characters sparks different reactions to different people  When I look at these two women I see who God wants me to be.  These women, especially the Proverbs 31 woman can be VERY CONTROVERSIAL.  And yes, if you just look at them with human eyes, there's no way you can stand up to that.  But if you let God guide you, you can do anything!  I'm never gonna be the perfect wife or mother, most of the time I can't even qualify as a good one.  But I have hope that if I keep trusting God that I can be the wife to Bryan and the mama to Dalton and Bobbye Sue that He me to be.