Tribute to my Daughter

 She is a very beautiful and caring daughter; both inside and out.  She has the patience of a dove and the strength of a lion.  She had to learn at a very young age to be both self-efficient and caring towards others.  Not because her mother was mean or neglectful  as was the reason too many other children had to mature faster than their years; but because they were simply thing that her disabled mother needed help with.  She always had a cheerful heart and if the burden of helping ever became to much, she didn't let it show.  At times, her mother was sadden by the thought that maybe her daughter's childhood had been stolen from her.  But just as she did; her daughter would do something silly to remind her mother that she was still just a girl.

CRIES FROM A MAMA'S HEART

As a mother there very few things I would not do for my kids.  That being said; as a mother with a disability, there are quite a few things that I physically can't do for my kids.  Now, mind you, this is nothing new; we've been dealing with this for over 15 years.
However, as they start each new phase of their life, we (OK, mainly I) have to readjust to what I can and can't do with and for them.  They're both at a point in their life where they do want to and have extra curricular activities.  Dalton is doing some form of fashion of basketball practice.  at least 5 days a weeks.  Bobbye Sue's in Girl Scout, plus she wants to pursue archery and student council.  (Yes, she may be a bit ambitious!) I want to be  that ultimate "soccer" mom who's at every game, who knows all her kids friends, teachers and coaches.  In my  heart, I know what an unrealistic version of a mom this is.  Even if I could drive and do things a "normal" mama could do, I'd still have a big problem: There's only one of me and there are two of them.
Years ago I was crying out to God about this very issues and said; "Why does my Cerebral Palsy have to effect my kids?  It's not fair!"  God quickly rebuked me and said; "Don't you think maybe I wanted your Cerebral to effect your kids!"  This was, and still is, such a powerful statement!  My kids truly have not suffered because of my CP.  It may even be a blessing.  In fact, as I write this Bobbye was reading over my shoulder and said; "You  know Mama, it really doesn't effect us that much."  
As a mother, I have to keep my eye on the prize; which is to be able to look at my kids and to know that they love God and that they are kind and helpful people.  As far as their extra curricular extra activity goes; I trust that God that He always lead them in the paths they should go.

Rambling Monday - My Fall Goals

Last week, I blog about how the start of each new school is like my "new" year.  I also  like to redo my  goals at this time of the year..;So here goes:

HOMEMAKING:  - Make my bed every morning.
                                  -Work on one room in the house each day:
                                              -Monday-my bedroom
                                               -Tuesday-bathrooms
                                               -Wednesday-Laundry room
                                                -Thursday-kitchen
                                                 -Friday-living room
                                                 -Saturday-catch up
                                                 -Sunday-Family day
                                    -Clean the kitchen every night before bed


PERSONALLY:          -Walk more
                                    -Blog at least 3X a week
                                   - Do some more blog hops
                                    -Read at least one book per week


SPIRITUALLY:        -Read Bible daily
                                    - encourage others on purpose
                                    -Journal regularly
                                    -listen to/ watch  inspirational speakers
                                   -memorize scriptures, especially those of praise

WIFELY                   -Pray for Barrett daily
                                  - Encourage him
                                   -Don't talk back
                                   -RESPECT him

MOTHERLY           -Pray for Dalton and Bobbye Sue daily
                                  -Listen intently to them.
                                  -Count to 10 and pray before I react to them
                                  -Encourage them daily
                                  -Make it clear that I'm 100% behind the
                                 -RESPECT them

Rambling Mondays & March Goals

Its rambling Monday and Tennessee FINALLY got snow.  Not much, but enough to build a small snowman.  The scarf was made by Bobbye Sue and the monocle is Dalton's.  They are enjoying time off school and I hear we're have a Star Wars marathon.  I can't wait.  

So, I've been reading up on setting goals, following through and getting stuff done.  I did set some goals in January.  I have done pretty well at doing my daily devotions.  I've being blogging more and been doing several blog hops a week. I still need to work on a couple of things.

Here of my March goals:

~ Drink more water

~ Eat better

~ Start walking

~ Blog at least 3 times a week

~ Read and do The Love Dare for Barrett

~Clean out my bedroom closets

~Start working on Vacation Bible School

~Keep working on keeping my house in order

~Continually with my devotional reading

Made to Crave Blog Hop - I am Holy

To be made holy is to be set apart by God for a specific purpose.

I have been deemed set apart by God for a specific purpose.

Does this make me holy?

 I’m a nobody.  I’m just a crippled middle aged woman in Middle Tennessee.  I’ve never done anything amazing.  My name is not known all over the world.  I don’t make life altering decisions every day that can make or break people.  I’m not a doctor with the next big cure.  I’m not a political leader with some grand suggestion for world peace.  I don’t have a solution to feed hungry kids, or to make parents love their children, nor can I make husbands and wife stay in a marriage where everyone and everything else says throw in the towel.

I’m no one, remember?

But, what if I have been set apart God for a specific purpose?

Leviticus 19:2  ^says, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.’”

It’s easy for us in our human state to doubt that we can be holy because…

       “I’m crippled…”

        “My parents abandoned me…”

        “My spouse rejected me…”

         “I’m overweight…”

This list can go on forever.  It’s been said that if you’re looking for an excuse; you’ll always find one.  But, our holiness has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with God: We are holy because He is holy.

Too often we think that God can’t use us because of our brokenness.  But in all reality, it is through our brokenness that God does use us.  Honestly, I do not know if I’d be a Christian if I wasn’t disabled.  My parents weren’t going to church when I was born.  When it was time for me to start school, they found a Catholic school that was just for disabled students.  My parents choose to put me in there rather than a public school where I would have probably been place into a special education class.

Uhm, set apart…

God knew.  My disability didn’t take Him by surprise.  While I don’t think He caused me to be disabled, I do think He allowed in for my good and for His glory.   Romans 8:28 tells us; “We know that all things work God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” 

 Somehow, my problems and your problems will all reveal God’s glory.  And I don’t have to do anything but get out of His way.  Ahh, but I’m stubborn.  I what people to see what I’ve done; to be impressed with the progress I’ve made.  What about me?  This is my life and I deserve the credit of what happens in my life.  Right.

I tell my kids all the time; “This is my life, I just let you live here.”  OK maybe not the best example.  But, we were created by God to have a relationship with God.  Luke 19:40 says (after Jesus was told by the Pharisees to rebuke His disciples), “’I tell you’ He replied, ‘If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.’”  Wow, if I don’t praise God and give Him glory, the rocks will do it in my place!  I don’t want to miss out on praise and glorifying God.  He made me who I am.  He created me in my mother’s womb.  He choose my parents and my siblings.  He choose Bryan Barrett to be my husband and Dalton and Bobbye Sue to be our children.  I don’t know why He chose to bless me, but He did.

If I’d not been disabled I doubt I’d ever gone to college. I’d never met Barrett or have had these two wonderful kids. 

Yes, I know I’m holy and have been set apart by God for a specific purpose.  Have you?

Made to Crave - Chapter 11 - Stinkin', Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day

1.  Recall a a recent experience the tempted you to overeat or make bad food choices.  As many of you know Bobbye Sue is a Girl Scout and I am an assistant troop leader we are currently in the midst of COOKIES SEASON!!!  Last Saturday I literally had 64 boxes delivered to my house.  We (I) personally ordered 2 boxes of each kind for our family.  There's nothing more tempting than to know you have access to the delicious

      What specific feeling does this elicit on you?  I want me some cookies!!!
   
      Whether you resisted or gave in to your temptations, how were your emotions impacted?  Well, so far I've done pretty good at resisting.  (This is highly due to the fact that all the thin mints are currently promised to other people.)  It's hard, but I just keep thinking back to this study and what I've learned so far.                                                

   
2.  When you experience problems or difficult seasons in lie or your more likely to put on a mask and pretend everything is OK or to take of the mask and ask for help?    I'm more likely to pretend everything is OK.  Grin and bare it as they say.  No one likes a Debbie Downer. Funny thing is though, Barrett and the kids can always tell when something up, but I'll keep on pretending;   usually till I crash and have a melt down.

     How has this tendency impacted you ability to resist food temptations at such times?  May I skip to the next question please?  I am a food sneaker.  I can resist the urge (sometimes) to eat in front of people, but if you leave me alone with some doughnuts or cream cheese...well, let's just say I might be a little more tempted.  But as I said in question 1, Remembering what I've learned in this Made to Crave study has helped a lot.

3.  Have you ever prayed without words; just spending time alone with God?  YES, I love to do this.  1 Thessalonians 5:17 tells us to "Pray without ceasing."  We are to always prayer.  It should come as natural as breathing in and out.  God is my constant friend and companion;  He's there every move I make and He knows innermost thoughts.  So, yes I pray without words all the time.

4.  In the coarse of a normal day, what old lies about food make it hard to resist temptation?
     -No one can see you.
     -One more won't hurt.
     -I'll start eating better...tomorrow.
     -Doesn't soda have water in it?

Does going through hard times make these lies harder to resist? Yes

How can God love shown in these scriptures help your replace the lies?
   
                                                                                                    
These verses say that God loves us and His Love can give us strength.

                                  

If God were to speak Revelation 3:8 to you in regards to food, what would you hope to see and experience on the other side?  I'd hope to see the freedom to be myself and also the courage and power to do what I had to do to get to that freedom

The Last Days of SUMMER!!!

Hard to believe, but school starts a week from Tuesday.  Bobbye Sue and I are doing our happy dance & Dalton, of course, is dragging his feet and starting to make those loud  moaning noise that cause me to halfway be concerned, but mostly be annoyed.  So, we're trying to sneak in a last few days of "FUN".  Yesterday, we went skating  with some of the  girls from Girl Scouts.  Bobbye Sue's BFF since 2nd grade is moving to Indiana in about a week, so we're trying to see her some.  God is so good...Barrett's niece,  .Kaylei, has came to live with her grandparents.  I think this will soften the blow when her friend moves.  
      So today, we went bowling with my BFF, Becki, and her 3 kids.  We met up with another friend and her daughter  The kids had  a blast and discovered Alex & Dalton LOVE laser tag!!!  I love that our kids are so close and get along, even though we sometimes don't get to see each other a lot.  We laugh at Alex & Dalton, they're always hesitance about getting together, but always fun when they do!   
    As we start this next week, we've really have to transition back to school 'mode'.  We started going to bed early last week, but this week we got to work on GETTING UP EARLY.  Barrett start his new shift this week which we allow him to be home earlier & see the kids more (YEAH!!!!!!!!).  Hopefully, I'll be able to get into a better routine myself; especially with house cleaning and healthy menu planning, & maybe even more time for blogging.  The start of school is always (still) an exciting time for me because it's fresh new star - a new year.    I can't believe I have a 7th grader & a  4th grader.  They're growing up way to fast.  I prayer that God will help be aware & gracious of the days in my little people's lives. 

BRAVE: A MOTHER/DAUGHTER FLICK

Today was great!!!  I took the kids to Y.  Dalton was suppose to have a basket ball clinic @ Patterson Park. We get all the way over there & it was canceled.  So, after swimming a practicing basket ball, we got to go to the movies.  The boys saw "The Dark Knight Rises", of course; and Bobbye Sue's been dying to see "Brave", so that's where we went.  I must admit; I wasn't expecting much from the previews...it looked kind of boring.  However, it turned out to be really good!  It's a princess who is being groomed by her mother, the queen, to be perfect.  God's timing is awesome!!!  As part of The Titus 2 University this month, we are reading the book Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman.   I love, love, love the book.  It was like Mrs. Freeman just picked my brain & wrote down all the things I'm thinking, but I'm too afraid to say; Good girls are not suppose to think this way!!!    The book is just totally making me reevaluate how I think and do things.  (I hope to write a few more blogs about Grace for the Good Girls in the coming weeks.)  
      Anyway, what was so astonishing was how God revealed that I am "encouraging" Bobbye Sue to be a "Good Girl" too.  While yes, there are things that I need to teach her; am I truly teaching her God's ways or am I imposing my expectations on her?   Too often, I feel like I do the latter one.  I want my kids to love and obey God because they have a relationship with God; not because the are in fear of Him or feel like the have to preform for Him


Proverbs 22:6 says 
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."

I remember having a conversation with a good friend of my, Becca Harrison, a few years ago and she told me (I think) that the original translation went something like;  "Train up a child  in the way in the   way  he is bent..."  She explained to me that God has a path set for our children to go and that is not our job to force them what to do but to guide them.  I am not responsible for the route my children take.  I can train, advise and pray fir them,  but at the end of the  day, they will have to be accountable for their own choices.  Like in "Brave" (not to spoil the ending), the daughter begins to understand the mother a little better and the mother starts to accept  the daughter for who she is.  This was a great lesson  for me; not only as a mother, but also as God's daughter.  As mom, I need to be  able  to step back and realize that this is  their   life and they're going to have to live it the way they see fit.  As God's daughter, I need   to strengthen  my own relationship with Him and not always try to please others; thinking  that this is how I am to pleas God.

BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) hMOUTH WHAT YOU SAY...

...BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) MOUTH WHAT YOU SAY, FOR THE FATHER UP ABOVE, HE IS LOOKING DOWN IN LOVE; BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) MOUTH WHAT YOU SAY!

We have to be SO careful of what we say and how we act in front of or little people don't we?  A few months ago I was having trouble with Dalton disobeying & disrespecting me, so I printed out copies of the 10 Commandments and tape them to both his and Bobbye Sue doors, with all intent of nipping the problem in the bud!  Well, as you can guess, I haven't use it as much as I had planed on or should have.  


Well last night, I was "helping" Bobbye Sue clean her room.  A tedius jobs that took hours and plum exhausted me. While I was taking a hot bath - trying to loosen my sore muscles, she brought me her copy of the 10 Commandments and said.  "Mama, this says; 'Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God.  The Lord will find guilty anyone who misuses His name.' Mama, while we we cleaning my room I heard you misuse the Lord's name serval times.  You shouldn't do that!"


GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!  A great lesson for me to lead by example and practice what I preach!!!

God Spoke

So, a few weeks ago we were have a transportation issue ~ surprise,surprise.  Both the kids were scheduled to attend day camp: Dalton to basket ball camp & Bobbye Sue to girl scout camp.  Before I signed her I made sure Bobbye Sue had a ride.  Well, things didn't work.  One day, I cried out to God in anger; "WHY DOES MY CEREBRAL PALSY HAVE TO EFFECT MY KIDS?  IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"  God quickly rebuked me & said; "Don't you think maybe I wanted your Cerebral Palsy to effect your kids?"  I can't explain it and other way than to say it felt like someone punched me in the stomach...It took my breath away & all I could think was "WOW!!!"  I am on of those people who think that all think are interconnected. My mama always says "You never know; maybe one of your kids or grand-kids may came up with a cure/treatment for CP."  I've really been thinking about all of this and truly amazed.  I have no idea what God has in for me or my kids.  They may have situations in their life that only be handled with   the knowledge and mercy that can come with having a disabled mother.  I'm by no way saying I'm a martyr, nor do I want to be, but if my trails and struggles can in anyway strengthen my friends and or family's relationships with God then bring on the trails and struggles.

Twistable Tuesday - Fall Break

Hard to believe, but my little people are on fall break this week...  So far it's been an OK week.  Today we went to the library and then Barrett picked us up and we went to supper at Toots.  Then we went and saw Dolphin Tales; such a great inspirational, family movie.  Of, course now Bobbye Sue wants a pet fish and go to the Clear Water Aquarium in Florida and visit the real Winter the Dolphin.  We're not doing too much the rest of the week.  On Friday, Dalton's going to a church lock in and Bobbye Sue's BFF is spending the night - can't call it a sleep over, as I'm sure not much sleeping will be going on...LOL

Created to be His Help Meet - Intro

One of my favorite books is Created To Be His Help Meet  by Debi Pearl.   I first read this book about 4 years ago as online book discussion.  I've read it time and time again; it's high lighted, marked in and written it.  I even lost it and ordered another one.  It's just a practical book for any wife; whether work outside the home or at home.  It's a book, that I want to pass on to Bobbye Sue one day. 

A couple of weeks ago my best friend Becki and I decided to study it  together.  We'll do about one chapter per week.  Because I learn as I write, I'm going to try and blog throughout this process. 

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 8 "Get Some Rest"

Mark 6:31

New International Version (NIV)

³¹ Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Wow!  Jesus tells us to come and REST.  If you know me, you know I'm addicted to sleep.  School's been in session for over 2 weeks and I'm still trying to recuperate from "summer".  I slept most of Friday -most of last week actually.  I feel really guilty because the house is such mess and there's so much to do, and I know people think I'm lazy but I do "take to my bed" often - alot of times I'm sleeping I just need to lay down - stretch out.
     Well, in the midst of our chaotic "adventure" Friday night; as I tried to figure out where Bobbye Sue was bleeding from and get ready to take her to the ER  God spoke to me in a small voice, saying; "This is why I let you rest today and this week; so you'd have the energy to take care of Bobbye Sue."
      I'm not saying this gives me permission to be lazy and neglect mu responsibility; it does not.  However, it reminded me that nothing I can do to take me out of God's love & grace & that's it OK if it seams like I need a little more rest than the "normal" person.  Yes. I need to try harder on getting my stuff done; but more importantly I need to trust God that He'll give me what I need to get my stuff done.

Bobby Sue's Friday Night Jaunt to the ER.

So, it was the first "normal" Friday night of football season.   Can you tell I'm married to a sports announcer??? Barrett was gone to a game.  I had ordered pizza and was folding clothes and watch TV(and listening to the radio).  The kids were outside playing with the neighbors.  Suddenly, Dalton ran in and called "Mama!" with that voice that said, "There's something really wrong here."
      Bobbye Sue comes back to my room.  She was covered in blood from her nose to her throat.  At first, I wasn't sure where the blood was coming from.  I got her laying down on the bed and got the bleed stopped enough to see it was from her nose.  She said her (right) wrist hurt and the was I big knot on it,  and she cringed whenever I touched her.
     I told Dalton to call Granddaddy (Barrett's dad) and I hurried to get ready to go.  She was crying; Dalton kept saying, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."
     Piece by piece, I gradually begin to comprehend what had happened.  Apparently they were "experimenting" with a new was to use the tire swing.  She was lying on top of the tire, holding the rode and Dalton was swinging her by her legs.  (This is something I can imagine my brothers and I doing years ago.)
Well, needless to say, her hand slipped and she kissed the dirt.  It's been rrumored that there was a dog leash involved too, but I chosen to close my "Mama" eyes to that little bit of information. 
     So we head off to the ER to find that Bobbye Sue did fracture her wrist.  (& yes, she is right handed and it is the start of a new school year.)   
     I must say, I'm really proud of Dalton; he stepped up and took care of his baby sister.  All went well until she asked him to hold the other hand while the doctor splinted the other and Dalton squeezed it too hard.  His reasoning; to divert the pain.

Ahhh, I gotta love my little people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 4 "Passing the Torch

Mathew 28:19 "Therefore go and make deciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."  (NIV)

This is the Great Commission.  Many people believe that in order to serve God you have to be doing church work; pastoring or teaching, or serving over seas on foreign soil or something big that makes an impact on  the community.  They are wrong.  EVERYONE IS CALLED  TO BE A MISSIONARY; WHETHER YOU'RE A DOCTOR WHO JUST GOT A NOBLE PEACE PRIZE OR A MAMA WHO'S JUST CHANGED HER 1,000TH DIAPER.

Our life is our mission field.  We have been commanded by God to go out and tell others about Him.  There's nothing special about me; but my God is awesome!!!  Barrett loves to tell about how people watch and look at us when we go anywhere as a couple or a family.  Some gawk, some laugh, some turn their heads in disgust...We are not the typical family, but we are the family called us to be.  I may never go on a mission trip to a 3rd world country.  But who knows what Dalton and Bobbye Sue may do one day because Barrett and I followed God and were obedient to Him.  He has promised to bless the offspring of the faithful.  A trip to the grocery store my not seem like a big deal to most, but as a Christian I hope that when people look at me they can see that Christ gives me strength.

Go Away you Green Eyed Jelous Monster

I'm feeling very jealous tonight.  Two of my sisters-in-law have had babies in the past 4 months and my other sister-in-law is expecting her 4th child in March.  While I am happy for them I'm also envious.  God bless me with two wonderful children after 2 difficult pregnancies.  With Bobbye Sue I went into labor at 27 weeks and I spent 2 months in the hospital.  She was born perfect (as Dalton had been; which was another story.)  It was with a heavy heart that I decided to have my tubes tied when Bobbye Sue was 6 months old.  After much  prayer and discussion with Barrett, we decided we couldn't risk having another baby - the doctors said that I probably would  never carry another baby to term.  I know in my hearts of hearts that I'd have a hard time dealing if I lost a baby due to my inability to carry it.  I feel so bad for any women that losses a child - but know that I had a great chance of losing one - I just couldn't  do it.  I worry that people think that I'm selfish because I did choose to take procedures so I wouldn't have more kids.  I grew up in a family of 7 kids and in a church that really looks down up birth control and having lots of babies.  I can remember when we joined the church when I was 7 - there were four of us kids then - mama said that they had one of the smallest  family  and people wanted to know when they were going to expand their family.  LOL!  So I truly had to pray about this because I do believe that children are gifts from God and true blessings.  God has promised me that I will have other children in my life.  Also, I think I want another kid, but then I start thinking my kids are 12 & 8, do I truly want to start with a little bitty baby.  I don't think so.

Bobby Sue's Bedroom Prayer.

Lord, I'm so thankful that this is the room we were able to bring Bobbye Sue home too almost nine years ago.  This room has surrounded and nurtured her.   I pray that it may continue to be a place of comfort; where she can live grow  and dream.  May it also be a refuge when the storms of life hit and seam to crash in upon her.  May her room supply her a place to be creative - Help her to grow up and to be- Your word said that You knitted her together in my womb.  Lord please help me to respect her privacy.  But help her to understand that when I do invade her privacy, it is for her best interest.  Please help me to remember that she is a gift from You  and help me to always love and care for her as You love and care for me.  In Your Holy Name I pray...Amen

My Lil' Country Star

Check out Bobbye Sue singing "Coat of Many Colors" at Grandma's!!

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.singsnap.com%2Fsnap%2Fwatchandlisten%2Fplay%2Fb9ad8a4fa&h=b0258

Simple Sunday & a Trip to a Pet Resor

It has been a Simple Sunday. We had aa greeat day at church. We ar in the process of going through the book of Jude; learning about how everyone's salvation is the same and different. Then we came home and just hung out. We leave 2 weeks from tomorrow for our summer vacation. in the Smokies. I'm very excited but there's a LOT to do. We are going to kennel our Westie (Maggie Sue) this time. Big Fat Cat can fend for himself! So, I'd call about this one place and we went to check it out. We took the kids. BIG MITAKE!!! We get there and to the place. So, Barrett and I are looking for the basic feed & board deal. The lady starts talking about the different packages they have; spa treatments, boot camp, TVs tuned to Disney in their cages; thee whole 9 yards. So Bobbye Sue hears all this and she's so excited. It broke her heart to learn that we weren't doing any special. We're leaving on a Monday and we'll be back on Friday - I think the dog will survive. It is a nice kennel. Needless to say, I will have to call tomorrow and make arangements where little ears can't hear and influence thee choice of the package I choose.

Fried pickles Fit

OK, Just need to talk this out, please.  Tonight, I took the kids and granddaddy (who sat in the truck)   to Captain D's.  Dalton had wanted fried pickles.  Well, in the process of ordering, there was a miscommunication between the lady who took our order, him and I: She told him it would cost extra and  showed him what he could get as sides,  He said OK, assuming he would get the pickles.  Well somehow the pickles didn't get ordered.  Well, instead of nicely if he could order them, he got ugly and started throwing a fit, and said he wasn't;t does it and wanted to go out to the truck.  It was quite a scene.  Then Bobbye Sue got involved .  She went and told them that we wanted an order of pickle.  I politely told the lady "No thank you."  and explained to Bobbye Sue that she couldn't override me like that.  She turned on her big puppy dog eyes and said;  "Mama, I was just trying to be a good sister.: :cry:  I told her I knew that, but she need to let me be the mama.  Anyway, all the way home Dalton continued to fuss.  This of course upset DFIL.  I feel he think I'm a bad mother.  But I have to do what I think is best for them and giving in to them doesn't work.  They have to respect me.  I know Dalton  is growing up  and trying to figure  out who he is.  We had a(nother) long talk when we got home.  He said I don't love him.  I told him I did and that I pray, and cry and fret over him more than anything.  I told him my job is to raise him, not to bend to his every whim.  I told him that he may not really see how much I really love him until he's an adult and has kids.  I really think our talk planted a seed and In fact he called me from Granddaddy's before bed to say was really sorry and he loved me.    He's such a good kid and I know growing up is hard...All I can do is pray to the greatesr father of all.   I felt peaceful today, I usually feel like such I bad mama, but I just have this great sense of peace today that holding my ground  was the right thing to do