Tis The Season

Winter is a harsh time of year for me.  And Satan knows it.  I find it ironic that Valentine's Day falls in the midst of winter.  I suppose someone thought it would break up the ho hum of winter.  Barrett schedule picks up and he's gone more often.  I know Barrett loves me.  But sometimes I get lonelyy and after weeks of Valentine's and lovey dovey commercials, I can really start to dissect our marriage and compare it to others.  This is one of the most dangerous roads I ravel and yet I find myself on it year after year!  God must have a sense of humor!  I think Satan tries to use this time of year to divide Barrett and me.  The bad part is each year that I do this, the divide gets larger and larger.  I don't want this!!!  I've got to remember that this it the time of year I've got to be strong and lean when more on God and cast my burdens upon Him, instead of on Barrett

Struggling with the Winter Blues

One of the hardest parts of my disability is dealing with depression.  Depression also run on both side of my families, so I'm not sure how much is from the CP and how much is inherited.  I let my meds run out last week (I know, I know)  I'm  not against taking the med - they do help, but I feel guilty that I even have to take them  My father-in-law refers to them as my "Crazy Pills".  It makes me feels bad, like I'm not good enough; I'm not worthy to be  married to his son or/ and especially not worthy enough to be the mother of his grand kids.  I know this is not true and I over think things!  I just wish I could be normal.