Barrett ~ My One True Love

Last week was Valentine's Day.  Needless to say this isn't Barrett's favorite holiday.  However, he did surprise me with lunch and this beautiful rose.  

Growing I fell into the trap that many women (and men too, I suppose)  fall into, that February 14th is the most romantic day of the year.  When I was single, I longed to be with someone on this day above all days because I wanted to feel special and loved.

Some of you know the story of how Barrett and I met, but if you don't, here it is:

In May of 1997, I took a 2 week philosophy class.  It had to be one of the hardest classes I ever took.  We were in class 6 hours a day five days a week.  At this point Barrett was doing morning news at WGNS.  So, he would come to the building the class was in about an hour before class.  Soon I found myself getting ther early too, just to talk to him.

I had just been rejected by a guy, and I had started truly praying to meet someone.  I didn't want just someone to "date", I wanted someone I could build a life with.  Many of my friends were getting married and starting their "adult" lives, if  you will and I longed for this too. 

Within 2 weeks of knowing Barrett, I knew this was the guy I would marry.  Everyone thought I was cray.  There was only one slight problem; Barrett just wanted to be "friends".  (Oh, BTW, never tell a guy after 2 weeks of knowing him that you love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him; it may not be received too well.  Just saying). 

So, we began our year of "friendship".  We went out a couple times of week, we spoke on the phone for hours at night.  I spent hours praying and crying myself to sleep at night; hoping that one day he might love me as much as I loved him.

Looking back, I'm so thankful to God for giving us this year of friendship to really get to know each other.  I can truly say, I married my best friend!

Valentine Day 1998 was bitter sweet.  I was in my last year of college.  I was taking 15 hours, plus doing an internship at Domestic Violence.  I was sick and exhausted most of the time.  On Valentine Day, Barrett took me to Crackle Barrel.  No, he didn't confess his dying love to me, but he did get me this throw that I'd had my eye on.

In May, a year after we met he did say he loved me and we were married in November. It'll be 17 years this may since we met.  WOW!!!  Does Barrett always love me like I think he should? No 
Do I always love him like he thinks I should?  NO.  However, I know that if we continual to love the Lord and let Him grow our marriage, it will be very successful.

Going Through The Marriage Devotional Bible - Day 1

About 5 years ago my friend Jeanne & her husband Mike, gave Barrett and I a gift certificate ate a local Christan bookstore for Christmas.  We got a marriage devotional bible.  As part of "my new year", I'm going to start Reading and blogging on this every day.

Mathew 22:36-39 "Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law?
      Jesus replied; "Love the Lord your God with  all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment and the 2nd is like it.  Love your neighbor as yourself."

    When I can truly love others, especially Barrett, the way that I love myself it's amazing but it's so HARD.  I find it easier to love my kids; yes I get discouraged with them at time but in the end I know it's my job to step up and be the "bigger" person.  It's my job as  their mother to make them feel better - not really feel better,  but to more or less make peace. When it comes to Barrett, however, I want him to be the "peace maker".  I have that if he truly loves me, he'll prove it to me by making amends.  Why there  have been times in our marriage he's hurt me; the majority of the time it's been how I perceived the issue that causes the problem.  Instead of loving him like I want to be loved, I want - no expect him to treat and love me the way "I" think "I"should be love.  That's a false love and a lie anyway.  I should not; can not be the judge on how to love or be loved.  This is reserved for God alone.   I can't read Barrett's heart & mind.  I am to love him regardless of if he's showing love to me at that time or not.  I think something interesting in marriage is that we all have our on aspects of love.  I really like Gary Chapman's concept of the 5 Love Languages.  Not only does is give me insight into who Barrett and his way of thinking, but it also show me who I am and how I can adapt better to him.