Grieving Daddy on Facebook

     Recently,  two good friends of mine lost the fathers.  Angela Braach lost her sweet Daddy on November 23, 2014 and Katie Taylor lost her dear ole dad on December 2, 2014.  As I've watched and prayed  for for my friends and their families,  I've been taken aback 9 years to when my Daddy died on July 10, 2006.

    My daddy was sick for about 16 years with kidney issues.  I went to bed many nights just knowing that I would get a phone call before the sun rise; telling me that he didn't make it.   He was on Dialysis for the better part of those years - 3 or 4 days a week.

     I wish I could say that my daddy and I were always close and that I was always there for him.  Our life, our family's life, was quite complicated.  I spent years being angry at my daddy.  He made some choices in his life that I felt devastated from.  They were choices that not only hurt me as a daughter, but also as a Christian.  It is hard for a daughter to see her father sin and make mistakes.  I knew my daddy loved me and he knew I loved him, but there were things that I couldn't get past, & know I'm kicking myself now because all that did was wasted precious time that I could have spent with my Daddy.  Time that I can never get back.

     As hard as it is for a daughter to realize her daddy made mistake; it's even harder to think of her daddy not being in Heaven waiting for her.  I can remember a couple of Christmases before he died talking to him; pleading for him to turn to God and seek forgiveness.  He said no, that he had committed the unforgivable sin and had grieved the Holy Spirit.  It was then that I began to reverently pray that he  would turn  back to God.  I was so relived and rejoiced when Lisa told me at the funeral that two night before he died he asked for forgiveness and accepted Christ.

     God and time has a way of healing a broken heart.  Although I still greatly miss my daddy, I can now look back  on his life, and on our life as father and daughter,  and can truly see God's love and work and can say that I know and believed my daddy in walking in the presence of God.
     While I'm unaware of the struggles that my friends Angela and Katie had with their on fathers, it is my prayer that they can look pass them, they they can see their father truly for who God truly made him to be.  They are grieving now, but I pray that will wake up one day and  the sadness will be replaced with only sweet memories.  I love you both dearly and you are both in my prayers.

Stumbling Blocks

When I learned to walk, it was not like other kids walked, I more or less just stumbled about wherever I went.  (Not much has changed in 30+ years)  As I grew, I graduated from a walker, to crutches and eventually to walk on my own; yet, actually, I just became a better stumbler.  My favorite aid to assist me in the process was my father.  Daddy, in his prime, stood six-feet-seven-inches tall!  He was known among my friends as "The Giant".  Daddy was a very strong guy and this really showed when he was walking with me.  I can't remember ever falling; somehow he always managed to catch me and keep me steady.  Although Daddy couldn't physically keep me from stumbling, he did everything he could to keep me from falling.  When I did fall, Daddy did whatever he could to encourage me to  encourage me to get back up and try again.

        I have another Father who does the exact same thing!  This is God.  He is so big and strong.  He holds me in His arms at all times.  Even though He doesn't always remove all the stumbling blocks from my life, He does guide me down the path and He is there to pick when I fall.
                                                                              It has been a long time since I've gotten to stumble beside my Daddy. I grew up, as little girls do, and my paths did not always cross with his.  I suppose the last time I got to stumble with him was down the church aisle at my wedding when he handed me over to the man that I will stumble my life away with.  After I had my two precious babies, I had a hip replacement, which has helped my stumbling a lot.  My daddy is no longer here on this earth to stumble about with me.  And even though when I reach heaven, I won't be stumbling any more, I know that both my Fathers will be waiting to walk me down those streets of gold

Daddy, Mr. Barrett & Abba God ~ Part 1 ~ An Introduction

I may be about to what may be thee biggest writing challenge ever for me.  I'm going to attempt to compose a comparison between the 3 father "figures" in my life.  Obviously, no human can compare to Abba God!  But He did give me an "earthly" father to show me in tangible and visible ways how much He loved and cared for me.  My Daddy was a carnal, sinful man and why he wasn't perfect, he probably deserved a lot more respect than I gave him.
     I'm really not sure why I'm doing a series on this except to say that I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to do so.  I was listening to Joyce Myer's series "Beauty for Ashes" on CD today and she was talking about fathers and there importance in our lives.  It really hit me that there are issues with my daddy, my father-in-law and God that I need to  deal with.

     So, I'm off...I'm not sure how long this will take or how many blog posts it will take.    Please pray that God will be with me and that His Will will be done

      Thank you!
   

Shaken To The Core

We recently got Direct TV and access to a DVR in our bedroom.  One of my new "guilty pleasure" is to record "Homekeepers" with Arthelene Rippy.  It's one of the show I've watched off and on for years.  I like it but it's one of the shows that comes on in the middle of the day and I forget about it.
     Anyway, I was watching it last night and she had a woman by the name of Anne Brooks on.  Mrs. Brooks had a daughter in the 60's 0r 70's (They didn't say for sure.  She's written a book called "If I Died, Will You still Love Me." Which I just ordered today.)  The daughter had Cerebral Palsy and she was taken away when she was 3 or so and put in state custody.  Her parents were accused of neglect and abuse.  They were only allowed to see her every now and then.  The parents were Christan and they had raised the girl in their faith, but she was told that it was a lie and that they didn't love her.  She eventually died when  she was 11; her feeding tube was inserted into her lungs instead of her stomach.  It was such a profound, profound story and it really made me stop and think how blessed.
        I was born in 1973 and my parents were told to leave me at the hospital, to go home and forget they ever had a daughter.  It seams so unreal that anyone would tell a parent that.  God certainly did bless me with the right parents.  They fought for me and were able to provide opportunities to me  that MANY disabled children didn't (& still don't) get.  My parents were a gift to me from God & I know I am  walking & talking miracle! 
      I can never say thank you enough; Of course Daddy's in heaven & he's not here for me to thank.  I did call Mama lat night.  But how do you say thank you?  That's right up there (almost) with saying thank you to Jesus for dying for my sins so I can have salvation.  There are no words; no actions; nothing I can do to express my gratitude towards them.  Which I know they don't want my thanks and they did it purely out of love to me and obedience to God, but I'm just having such a time of amazement after hearing Mrs. Brooks story and realizing how truly blessed I am.
        I took a class in college that talked about how different cultures and times in history dealt with sickness and disabilities and it was just mind boggling.    I'm just so thankful to God that I was born in the era I was, the country I was and the family I was.  That was totally ordained by God.