30 Days of Thankfulness - Days 1 & 2

OK, so many people celebrate November and Thanksgiving by saying one thing every day of what you're thankful 

He Really Did Died For Me

This past weekend my best friend, Becki and I went to a women's retreat.  This retreat is awesome and truly is one of the highlights of our year.  It's just nice to get away with her and other women for a weekend without kids and husband to just relax and grow closer to God and each other.  It's one of the highlights of our year.  For me the best and most revealing part of the weekend came Saturday night.  The evening meeting was down at the lake.  The path down to the lake was a very steep and fractured slab of concrete.  I was in my scooter and was doing OK until I hit a rough spot and almost flipped over.  I get parked in the grass and quickly turn the scooter off  because I'm afraid if I touch it in any way I'll end off in the lake topic was sin and forgiveness.  At the beginning of the session, the had given us each a piece of cheese clothe (I think that's what it was).  We were to write on it something we were struggling, then walk it down to a table that had some red liquid on it- they said the liquid would dissolve the ink.  After this we were to take a white rose and place the petals in the lake.  I was not going to attempt this; in fact I was seriously considering just sitting in my scooter on that hill for the rest of my life.  So Becki took mine for me.  I watched enviously at this beautiful of all these women preforming the symbolic act it accrued to me; Jesus did what I could not do.  He took up the cross and died for me!  There was never even a chance that I could produce my own salvation.  Now, I've been a Christian all my life, but this hit me like block on the head.  Too often we try to take charge of our own life.  We don't want ta appear week.  I hate to think off all the blessings I've missed our on simply because I was too stubborn to surrender to God.  I've always  been very independent; in some ways I fear  I'm loosing more and more of my independence every day.  I believe with all my heart that God gave me such a strong will and independence to help me succeed, even survive.  However, as I get older and have to rely on others - and on God - I'm truly starting to see how much  God loves me.  He love truly did die for me!

Frame of Mind Friday

It's been quite a while since I blogged a "Frame Of Mind Friday". (or any common theme).  I'm pretty excited that this time next week my BFF, Becki, & I will be at a women's retreat.   I CAN'T WAIT!!! 

Book Review - Grace for the Good Girl

   So it took me almost  2 months to read, but I finally finished reading Grace for the Good Girl  by Emily P. Freeman.  I read this as part  of The Titus 2 Univversy.  I must say this is a great book; one of the best I've read in a while  The first thing I noticed was the cover:  It made me think of Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sing which I read in junior high.  The idea of this story, if I remember correctly it's about how we can still feel free even in the midst of  a life that seams anything but.   Grace for the Good Girl brings up the issue of how "good girl"  has  been prompted to please everyone; be the best at everything you do.  It reminds me that we are saved by grace, not by works.  I grew up trying to be the ultimate "good girl"  In fact my nick name in  college was "Mother Teresa" or "MT" for short.  I obtained this nick name because the first semester of my freshmen year I went to a retreat where the matter of church attendance came up. I said (and I'm sure I said it agronantly) that I ALWAYS went to church!  Well, a mere 5 years later, I could no longer say that.  In fact, I no longer belong to the same denomination.  It wasn't that I felt like I was better than anyone else, it's just that truly felt  that that was what you were suppose to m ;kado:  You were suppose to go to church every Sunday;  you were suppose to do you best at everything; you were suppose to be a "good girl"  
     I think a lot of this goes back to how I was raised, but more importantly was how I processed how I  was raised.  I was (am) sensitive person and I truly feel guilty when I do something wrong, even when it's an accident.  I even feel guilty at times over my Ceberal Palsy; as if I can control it.  This also incorporated what society and the world defines a "good girl." .  The world concentrates and promotes perfection, it feels like you have an automatic strike on you back because you are different from the norm.
     I think what I got most out of reading Grace for the Good Girl was that its OK that I'm not .  God did not intend for me to be perfect and in fact its my imperfections that will draw me closer to Him.

WIFE SWAP- WOULD YOU, COULD YOU?

Remember in Dr. Sues' "Green Eggs and Ham" , when the question was asked "Would you, could you eat them (insert a way here)?"  Lately, I've been hooked on reruns of Wife Swap and Trading Spouses on Lifetime.  (Yes, I've got too much time on my hands!)   I've always been and a people watcher - I may be nosy but I prefer to say I'm putting my Social Work degree to good use.  I am intrigured with how people interact with others.  I know this is going sound crazy and maybe even a bit conceited; but while I (think) I'd personally loved to experince this,  I don't know how'd it go over with Barrett.  I'm not saying I'm not totally in love with my life, but I must admit I do get bored at times and wondered if "life truly is greener on the other side".  However, I'm not sure about having a total stranger coming in and judging my family an my parenting style.

So, the answer to the question; Would I, Could I do Wife Swap?  NO!!!!!

Rambling Monday -Starting to think

So, as I mentioned in my last post - school starts next week and I need to start  thinking about trying to get organized...I'm hoping with Barrett schedule change (that started today:):):)), that I can get things like our bedtimes, menus, chores, home work time and all that stuff organized this week.  Today I printed off the school calendar.  I need to go look at my Home Management Binder and tweak it some.  I do want to plan healthier menus and not always looking at my clock, saying "It's 4:30, what do I have to feed my family???" I need to get the kids to clean their rooms and make sure they have every thing the need for school. I want to set aside time to be with God and time to write more.  I want to do a "30 days to Clean" challenge starting in a few weeks once they get settled in school So, there's my week's plans;  wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Last Days of SUMMER!!!

Hard to believe, but school starts a week from Tuesday.  Bobbye Sue and I are doing our happy dance & Dalton, of course, is dragging his feet and starting to make those loud  moaning noise that cause me to halfway be concerned, but mostly be annoyed.  So, we're trying to sneak in a last few days of "FUN".  Yesterday, we went skating  with some of the  girls from Girl Scouts.  Bobbye Sue's BFF since 2nd grade is moving to Indiana in about a week, so we're trying to see her some.  God is so good...Barrett's niece,  .Kaylei, has came to live with her grandparents.  I think this will soften the blow when her friend moves.  
      So today, we went bowling with my BFF, Becki, and her 3 kids.  We met up with another friend and her daughter  The kids had  a blast and discovered Alex & Dalton LOVE laser tag!!!  I love that our kids are so close and get along, even though we sometimes don't get to see each other a lot.  We laugh at Alex & Dalton, they're always hesitance about getting together, but always fun when they do!   
    As we start this next week, we've really have to transition back to school 'mode'.  We started going to bed early last week, but this week we got to work on GETTING UP EARLY.  Barrett start his new shift this week which we allow him to be home earlier & see the kids more (YEAH!!!!!!!!).  Hopefully, I'll be able to get into a better routine myself; especially with house cleaning and healthy menu planning, & maybe even more time for blogging.  The start of school is always (still) an exciting time for me because it's fresh new star - a new year.    I can't believe I have a 7th grader & a  4th grader.  They're growing up way to fast.  I prayer that God will help be aware & gracious of the days in my little people's lives. 

BRAVE: A MOTHER/DAUGHTER FLICK

Today was great!!!  I took the kids to Y.  Dalton was suppose to have a basket ball clinic @ Patterson Park. We get all the way over there & it was canceled.  So, after swimming a practicing basket ball, we got to go to the movies.  The boys saw "The Dark Knight Rises", of course; and Bobbye Sue's been dying to see "Brave", so that's where we went.  I must admit; I wasn't expecting much from the previews...it looked kind of boring.  However, it turned out to be really good!  It's a princess who is being groomed by her mother, the queen, to be perfect.  God's timing is awesome!!!  As part of The Titus 2 University this month, we are reading the book Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman.   I love, love, love the book.  It was like Mrs. Freeman just picked my brain & wrote down all the things I'm thinking, but I'm too afraid to say; Good girls are not suppose to think this way!!!    The book is just totally making me reevaluate how I think and do things.  (I hope to write a few more blogs about Grace for the Good Girls in the coming weeks.)  
      Anyway, what was so astonishing was how God revealed that I am "encouraging" Bobbye Sue to be a "Good Girl" too.  While yes, there are things that I need to teach her; am I truly teaching her God's ways or am I imposing my expectations on her?   Too often, I feel like I do the latter one.  I want my kids to love and obey God because they have a relationship with God; not because the are in fear of Him or feel like the have to preform for Him


Proverbs 22:6 says 
"Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it."

I remember having a conversation with a good friend of my, Becca Harrison, a few years ago and she told me (I think) that the original translation went something like;  "Train up a child  in the way in the   way  he is bent..."  She explained to me that God has a path set for our children to go and that is not our job to force them what to do but to guide them.  I am not responsible for the route my children take.  I can train, advise and pray fir them,  but at the end of the  day, they will have to be accountable for their own choices.  Like in "Brave" (not to spoil the ending), the daughter begins to understand the mother a little better and the mother starts to accept  the daughter for who she is.  This was a great lesson  for me; not only as a mother, but also as God's daughter.  As mom, I need to be  able  to step back and realize that this is  their   life and they're going to have to live it the way they see fit.  As God's daughter, I need   to strengthen  my own relationship with Him and not always try to please others; thinking  that this is how I am to pleas God.

BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) hMOUTH WHAT YOU SAY...

...BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) MOUTH WHAT YOU SAY, FOR THE FATHER UP ABOVE, HE IS LOOKING DOWN IN LOVE; BE CAREFUL LITTLE (BIG) MOUTH WHAT YOU SAY!

We have to be SO careful of what we say and how we act in front of or little people don't we?  A few months ago I was having trouble with Dalton disobeying & disrespecting me, so I printed out copies of the 10 Commandments and tape them to both his and Bobbye Sue doors, with all intent of nipping the problem in the bud!  Well, as you can guess, I haven't use it as much as I had planed on or should have.  


Well last night, I was "helping" Bobbye Sue clean her room.  A tedius jobs that took hours and plum exhausted me. While I was taking a hot bath - trying to loosen my sore muscles, she brought me her copy of the 10 Commandments and said.  "Mama, this says; 'Do not misuse the name of the Lord your God.  The Lord will find guilty anyone who misuses His name.' Mama, while we we cleaning my room I heard you misuse the Lord's name serval times.  You shouldn't do that!"


GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!  A great lesson for me to lead by example and practice what I preach!!!

God Spoke

So, a few weeks ago we were have a transportation issue ~ surprise,surprise.  Both the kids were scheduled to attend day camp: Dalton to basket ball camp & Bobbye Sue to girl scout camp.  Before I signed her I made sure Bobbye Sue had a ride.  Well, things didn't work.  One day, I cried out to God in anger; "WHY DOES MY CEREBRAL PALSY HAVE TO EFFECT MY KIDS?  IT'S NOT FAIR!!!"  God quickly rebuked me & said; "Don't you think maybe I wanted your Cerebral Palsy to effect your kids?"  I can't explain it and other way than to say it felt like someone punched me in the stomach...It took my breath away & all I could think was "WOW!!!"  I am on of those people who think that all think are interconnected. My mama always says "You never know; maybe one of your kids or grand-kids may came up with a cure/treatment for CP."  I've really been thinking about all of this and truly amazed.  I have no idea what God has in for me or my kids.  They may have situations in their life that only be handled with   the knowledge and mercy that can come with having a disabled mother.  I'm by no way saying I'm a martyr, nor do I want to be, but if my trails and struggles can in anyway strengthen my friends and or family's relationships with God then bring on the trails and struggles.

Happy 4TH of July

I was just sitting her thinking about how blessed I am.  I live and was born in the greatest country.  We here alot about how the opportunities and just the freedom to succeed is so much great in the USA than any where in the world.  Looking at this country from a person with a disability can be quite interesting.  As I've mentioned before, when I was born my parents were "encouraged" to turn their back on me.  I think in many other countries this is an automatic given.  For starters, the medical knowledge and treatments alone prevents many people with disabilities from surviving; let alone striving.  I took a class in college that talked about disabilities around the world and in different cultures.  I  wish I could remember that class better,  In many parts of the world it's considered  taboo to be disabled,  No, America isn't perfect and many disabled people are  living in scary times in relationship to health care.  I'm not trying to get into a political debate here and I honestly I don't have enough information to even to start to venture down that path.  But I do think America is a great county and I think that OVERALL there's opportunities here for disabled persons that I doubt you can get many other places in the world.

That being said I'll shut up now and say Happy 4th of July!   Thank God for America and the men & women who work to hard to defend and protect this country!!!!!!!!!

Intentional Blogging

I've really been thinking about (& I need to PRAY about it too), being more intentional in my blogging.  I've even toyed the idea of doing away with "The Crippled Mama" and starting a new blog.   This will not, however, fix the problem.  #1 - I've invested way to much time & energy, not to mention my heart and soul into this blog to give it up, and #2 - if I'm not blogging for "The Crippled  Mama", what makes me think I'll do any more post on another blog.  Truth is; I was suppose to enter a writing contest this month & I guess I froze.  Whenever I would think about sitting down do write, I'd think of a million other things that I could and needed to be doing at the time.  I do believe that there a reason and a season for everything in our life.  We are even told this in The Word of God; 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

New International Version (NIV)

A Time for Everything

3 There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot, 
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,

My top priority in life is to be a good wife and mother.  There are seasons in my life where I have to put my  wants and dreams aside in order to care for them.  I struggle with this in many ways.  First, I'm extremely selfish!!!  I must admit that a lot of the time; probably even most of the time, I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.  Second, hard as it is to admit,  I use my limitations as an excuse, a reasoning, not to do the best I can in everything I do, & third and anyone who knows this will be shocked (especially Barrett), nut I think I may be a perfectionist.    I know that in compression to most women I know,  I'm not a good wife or mama.  I mean I'm just not:  My house isn't as clean as it should be, I can't drive my little people all over town to fulfill their desires.  I'm not a gourmet cook and most mornings we have to go on a scavenger  hunt for socks and underwear.  While there are a lot of thing I need  to do better, I also know that my best is sufficient.  I don't have to feel quilty because I'm not as good as someone else.  I must remember that God made me uniquely and knew me while I was still in my mother's womb.  (See Psalm 139)  God gave me my husband and kids to love as no one else can!!!

Now, back to blogging.  I do need to  blog more, not only because I love to write, it's also therapeutic for me.  I do need to be more intentionally ut blogging.  I've  got a blog planner and will try to work on this. My spontaneous spirit tends to balk against planners and schedules.   And yes it is very  ironic that I married a VERY Type A person - it does cause major stress in our marriage, LOL!  So I do need to diligently seek the Lord in this area of my life.

Hi this is an iPad test

Happy Mother's Day To Me

So, for my Mother's Day gift, Barrett gave me my note book computer back.   I'm so excited!!!  I've been trying to use an IPAD for the last couple of months, but just couldn't get the hang of it.  It was especially hard to blog on.  I feel bad because Barrett got me an external key board and a IPAD stand to make things easier, but it just felt so foreign to me.. Guess I'm old and stuck in my ways! LOL!  Hopefully, now I can get some writing done.

Hiya

Haven't posted lately. I know I start many of my post like that. Not much has been going on. There are only about 17 days of school left!!!!Yeah, can't wait. That mean 2 months of NO BALL GAMES FOR BARRETT. Lazy days with my little people and fun family nights. I think we may go to Atlanta in June for our Summer vacation. I've never been. We're gonna hit Six Flags, tour the Weather Channel and go see a Braves game, where hopefully Barrett will get to see Chipper Jones play one last time live, as he's retiring at the end of this season. Dalton's excited, Bobbye Sue really wanted to go to Florida and Disney. I would love to take them and go to the beach (haven't been since college). But I just think it'd be a really hard trip for us. I know that God will make it a wonderful trip.

Blogging

OK. Recently, Barrett got thee IPAD 3 and I took overr the IPAD 2. I like it, except I can't figure out the best waay to blog. I love blog spot and don't want to change, but am haveing a really hard time in going back and edditing it. Any suggesstions???

IPAD blogging

So, as many of you know the IPAD 3 came out last week. Yes, Barrett wass in line at midnight last Friday to get it! (Yes, I'm married to a geek!) Anyway, I'm trying the IPAD 2... When he got IPAD 2, I'd tried to use the first IPAD with littler success. But since then I've been using an IPHONE, so I've gotten better aquainted at using it. So, I think I like it. He bought me a key board, so I think I may use it more!

Blogging from mY I

Qoute of The Day

So I came across this quote in the Tennessee Council on Developmental Disabilities:  "Disability is a natural part of the human experience..."  Not sure why, but I find this a bit disturbing.  While I've always been disabled, I don't feel that it is natural.  It's hard to look out into a world where it seams like you are the only one that's not "normal"  and see your disability as natural.    While Cerebral Palsy is not considered a progressive disability; as I age and my life changes the CP affects me differently.  It's dismissed as natural phase of aging.  I understand this; but it's hard to see as natural when you're aging in your mid 30's whenever one around you seams to be in their prime.   It's not that I truly hate being disabled, I don't.  I don't exactly love it, But I do see it as a gift that God has blessed me with.    (Even throughout the bible, many stories of great blessing also include great trails.)    Part of me does see the CP as natural.  It's all I've ever known and I have adapted.  It some ways that's a good thing; you have to face reality.  However, in another way, part of me doesn't want to set my disability as natural.  I don't want  to just accept my CP; I don't want the CP to define me.  I want to constantly strive to do my best and often  when I accept things, I tend not to.     One of the hardest things about being disabled is that strong desire to be independent.  A disability robs you of this; to a certain degree.  And sometimes to accept  it means to give into it.

Tis The Season

Winter is a harsh time of year for me.  And Satan knows it.  I find it ironic that Valentine's Day falls in the midst of winter.  I suppose someone thought it would break up the ho hum of winter.  Barrett schedule picks up and he's gone more often.  I know Barrett loves me.  But sometimes I get lonelyy and after weeks of Valentine's and lovey dovey commercials, I can really start to dissect our marriage and compare it to others.  This is one of the most dangerous roads I ravel and yet I find myself on it year after year!  God must have a sense of humor!  I think Satan tries to use this time of year to divide Barrett and me.  The bad part is each year that I do this, the divide gets larger and larger.  I don't want this!!!  I've got to remember that this it the time of year I've got to be strong and lean when more on God and cast my burdens upon Him, instead of on Barrett

30 Days of Loving and Praying for My Barrett - Day 1: Praying for His Wife

I have very mixed emotions when it comes to praying for Barrett's wife; they go from a humble feeling of "Yes, Thank you God.  I need all the prayer I can get!" to "This isn't about me God.  I know I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing,,,he's the one that needs prayer."  Truth is though it does start with me!  If I'm not giving my all to God and doing my job as wife and mama, then it only makes  Barrett job to be a good husband and father all the harder.  As I've mentioned before we do not have the typical marriage and family life.  Because of my CP, he has to pick up a lot of my slack and do alot of the things a "normal" wife and mama usually does for her family.  One of the things that really stood out in the first chapter  of The Power of a Praying Wife, was that we need to release some (many) of the expectations that we have of our husband.  We can not expect from our husbands what only God can give us.  This also goes back to what Tozer says in The Presuit of God that there is a place in our soul that is reservedfor God alone.  I struggle with this because I am so depended on Barrett in many ways - he says he sometimes feels like he has 3 kids instead of 2.  LOL.   I know it can be very stressful at time for him.  I honestly pray that God always give me the ability to serve Barrett and to let him be the head of our home

Book Review - The Table Experince

I can so remember the table in our family,   My parents actually bought the family table at a auction when they first got married.  It was a massive piece of furniture.  I think it was oak.  It had  two or  three leaves to add more room.  The legs had swrils around them.  There was a matching desk to go along with it.  Months ago, I first heard about Devi Titus's book The Table Experience on Homekeepers with Arthlene Rippy and was so intrigued I had to read it and I'm so glad I did!
      I guess the thing that struck most at the start of the book was to learn the history of the table.  The first piece of furniture that God ordered Moses to build for the tabernacle was the  ark of the covenant, the 2nd piece was the table - giving more than exact details on how to build it.    Isn't it amazing how God reveals what matters to Him most through His word.  I truly believe that the family is the core of God's plan for society.   Sometimes in America we turn to old TV shows to see where our values come from.    The table which in my opinion, along with the kitchen is the center and heart of the home seams to have been replaced by the TV and many other media sources.  I must admit that during our first couple of years of marriage,  we ate every meal in front of the tube.   At first I thought this was OK, even cool;  I guess that's because we had rarely ate in front of the TV.  We even bought an adjustable seat that hook in a chair as Dalton's  high chair.    It wasn't until after Bobbye Sue was born  that I really felt an urge   to start eating family dinners at the table.  I don't exactly know why it hit at this time; I think I just finally felt like we were a family and so we needed to eat like one.
      This book really open my eyes to the communion at the family table.  Mrs. Titus even goes as far to say that God can do some miraculous around the table

30 Days of Loving and Praying for My Barrett

So, as part of the Titus 2 University we are spending the month February, we are discussing loving our  husbands and we are being challenged to pray  for our husband for 30 days.  We are reading The Power of  a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.   Love, love, love this books:  It was of those books I high light and write in: one of those books that I hope  to pass on to Bobbye Sue one day.  It's such a great resource.  I must admit I do sometimes struggle with praying for Barrett.  When he worked in Nashville he had  to be at work at 4:30 in the morning.  After he left for work I'd go back to bed and pray myself to sleep.  I loved this time.  Yes, I still prayed for for Barrett but I have never found quite a connection like I had in this early mornings.  It's been more than four years but  it's still a  struggle at time..This is my heart's desire...to become a more praying wife.  It amazing how together my life feels when I am praying adamantly  I think the topic that I'm most excited about praying for is just for Gods to strengthen our relationship;  to make (keep) us best friend and kindred hearts.  I don't know if  any of these topics scare me.  However, when ever you released something. ssomeone to God it's always a bit scary.    I do trust God - but it's hard to give up that control; even when you realize and know that you have no control anyway  Please pray that I can really work on this.  Thank  you.

Thankful Thursday & Up Coming Blessings

So, today is thankful Thursday & I got some news this week that I'm extreamly thankful for (I think).  I may have  a disorder that could explain alot in my life.  A lot of the depression, fatigue, mood swings exc that has plagued me for most of my life may not be my fault.  I may not have all the answers yet, but just knowing gives me hope

Tear Down My Viels, O God

Part of the class I'm taking at the Titus 2 University is that we are reading A.W. Tozer's The Pursuit of God.  (I am listening to it on CD - I love to read,  but sometimes I learn better if I can hear it.)  In this book, Tozer compares us to the tabernacle of God and how the inner most part of our soul is reserved for God alone; just like the inner most part of the tabernacle was reserved for the high priest.  Through sin and self, though, we try to fill  this spot which is meant for God alone.  This brought a memory to mind of a dear friend and former pastor's wife at our church who taught a class on sin once and the way she explained it one time just blew me away.  She said imagine you can see God-clear as day.  Every tine you sin you put a veil up between you and God that distort your view of Him.  The more you  sin, the thicker the veils are going to become and the harder it is going to be to see God.  Tozer more or less said that we fill our inner spot with so much stuff that's there no room left for God.  This is so easy to do.  I don't want to push God out of tbe way, it just sort of happens.  I get so busy with Barrett, the kids and everything else that before I know it I have a stack of veils before my eyes so thick that I can not see God.
    
Now, I know God is always with me.  While this brings me great comfort, I fear that sometimes I become too nonchalant about God and don't give Him the honor, praise and respect that He deserves. It's almost as if I just expect Him to always be here for me, instead of being grateful that He's always with me.  It's when I let other stuff enter inner most spot, the spot that's reserved for God alone, that I feel cluttered and feel as if God is a "friend" and not the awesome, holy God He is.

I don't want to think of God as mealy a friend.

I want my inner most spot to be for God alone.  But, I must admit, too often I want to have others enter into that inner most  space, especially Barrett and Becki, my BFF.  Probably because these are the two people that I am closest to on earth.  (I'm not excluding my kids - I am close to them.  At times they do want me to be their "friend" and I can well remember so desperately wanting my mama to be me best friend, but that wasn't her job and it's not my job to be my kids "best friend", its my job to be their mama.  It not only helps me -but they need someone besides mama to go to.)  

       Anyway, I digress.  My point is I do want to invite certain people into that "inner spot" that's meant for God alone.   Why???  I'm sure that on any given day I'd have  several different replies to answer this question.   However,  today (and probably most days)  the outstanding answer is "fear".  It's not that I'm afraid of God - although I do believe I have a  healthy reverent respect for God.  But when you have to block everything out and focus on your relationship with God; it does get scary.  You have to stop and really realize what's important in life.  Most  of us aren't mature enough most of the time to face this time alone with God.  So, we do whatever we can  to avoid it.  So we (I) try to fill that inner space with other things or people.  Thinking maybe if I do I can either drown out God or that  He will not rebuke me in front of others.  (UHM, I wonder if God's politically correct or overly concerned about what others think???)

     So I definitely need to work on putting God first!

Titus 2 University - JUST GIVE UP; WHY THROWING IN THE TOWEL MIGHT BE THE BEST THING YOU DO THIS YEAR

Your personality; How striving affects your family.

What are your core beliefs?  Your M.O.?  What's the driving force in your life?  What prehaps never before acknowledge belief is running your life?  I believe that the purpose at this time in my life is to be a good wife and mother.  I want our home to trully be a refuge for them, a safe haven for them to come in and escape the preasures of life.

How do you think this belief affects your family?  When I truly focus on the belief and practice it there's peace and harmony in my home.

Do you deal with prefectionism as a mom?  UHM, how to answer this???  If you asked my Type A husband if I was a prefectionist, he'd answer you with a stern "NO!" in between laughs.  Not to many things in my life occur the way I plan them to.  Of course I want to be the perfect /ideal mom, but I fail daily.  Many times I feel that if I can't be perfect why try at all???

Prefection isn't God's will for you.

"Our children will feel the need for God through many things in life...including your failures."

Does this rub you the wrong way?  No, how we handle failures tells alot about our relationship with God and our beliefs.

Do you strive for prefection?  How does it make you feel that God will use your flaws to reach the heart of you kids?  Why it is scarey to have your kids to see your flaws, they need to know that
we are human and make mistakes just like they do.

Read 2 Cor 4:7-11 "The probleml; we're just Earthen Vessels...yup, dirt and water."

What are some areas in your life, where you pretty aware of being "just earth"?  Whenever I meet another woman who appears to "have it all".

Does it makes better to know that because we're imperfect the glory goes to God?  As a Christain woman, yes of course I want God to have the glory, but as a human woman I want the glory.

In what areas in your life do you find it most  difficult to accept dying to yourself?  In just knowing that someone more able could be a better wife and mother to Barrett and the kids.

Does it help knowing that all this is "for Jesus sake"?  Yes, because it gives me hope that God does have a purpose for me and that there's a very devine plan for my life. 

The Promise?  His life!

When has Jesus' life shown up or been manifested when you were just to tired, weary or overwhalmed to go on?  Uhm, I've got to say I've never really thought about it.  But Luke 9:23 comes to mind.  It says; "...Whoever wants to be my disciple must take up their cross daily and follow me."   I can't say it doesn't get hard at times, but this is my life on earth.  Because of Jesus' love and sacrafice for me ensures me that my life in heaven will be perfect and this gives me hopee to carry on.  

What would it look like for you to choose to live like Jesus did - and does?  What needs to change?  I'd have to stop being so selfish.

What are some areas in which I need to really renew God's vison for my family?  First of all, I need to truly pray for God's wisdom.  I definitely know I need to work on preparing healthier meals andd keep the house cleaner.    I need to be a more patient and suportive wife and mother.

Just a qucik thought...

I've got about 30 minutes until Bobbye Sue gets home from school.   I should be cleaning but blogging is a lot more fun!!!  I'm feeling really blessed today, no particular reason.  It's just amazing to see God at work in my normal, day-to-day life.  His blessings are truly renewed every morning.  Some people thing that you have to see the big and mighty that God does to truly be in His presence.  This is so untrue!  While I love to see God do mighty and amazing things, usually I feel  most in his presence in the quiet times, when I'm just going through the normalcy of my day.

LIKE A COLD CUP OF COFFEE - I AM A BIT UNIQUE

I like cold coffee; and I'm not just talking iced mocha-although those are a fave - but coffee, cream and sugar.  I love coffee.  I'd love to drink it hot, but because of the CP & muscle spasm, drinking hot beverages doesn't lead to a pleasent sight!  So,it's much easier for me to drink it cooler or even stone cold.  Barrett will fix me a cup  before he goes to work & I'll drink later in the day.

Now, I'm not writing about this just to tell you I like cold coffee.  As I mentioned earlier, I am participating in the Titus 2 University.  Today I was listening to the first audio teaching and it got me thinking of how different I am from the "normal" mom.  Misty Krasawski, owner of the Encouraging Hearts at Home blog,  is a home schooling mom of eight.    She seams the "perfect"  woman.   As I started to listen, at first I felt really intimadated, but as I listened to   what she said about to letting go and letting God have the glory.  This snapped me back into reality.  While I may not be  the typical, "normal" mom, God has made me a mom. and a friend told me years ago that God gave mine children to me and no one else, He's a specific reason for me to be their mother and for them to be my children.  Psalm 139:14 says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."  I am a different kind of mother, but I have faith that I'm  exactly the mother He wants me to be.  So I can keep trudging along, doing the best I can to praise and glorify God.  It's OK to be a different type of mom.

Just like it's OK to drink a cold cup of coffee

Titus 2 University

I'm embarking on a new journey this year.  I have enrolled in The Titus 2 Univerisity.  It's 9 months of classes discussing the concepts of the Titus 2 woman.  I will be doing my "school work" on my blog, so stay tuned.

New Year - New Me

Can you believe it's 2012???  January, February and March are usually the hardest months of the year for me.  The excitement of Christmas is over, the kids are back in school and Barrett will do a gazillion ballgames in the next 3 month.  It's cold and I usually only get out of the house a few times a week.  Plus the cold weather makes my body stiff and my muscles ache.  My depression tends to worsen in these wintry months.  This is the time when I must rely on my heavenly Father MOST!!!    Satan knows my weaknesses and uses them against me. I must stay diligent in prayer and spending time with God.  I've done a really poor job with my blogging the past few months.  I want to get back on track with that.  I just signed up today for The Titus 2 University;  9 months of classes dealing with becoming a better wife and mother.  I've got some books up to read.  Back in November, I hired a lady who comes every 2 weeks and cleans my house; allowing me to keep it cleaner on a daily basis.  So, all-in-all, I'm excited about the new year.  I know if I keep my head focused on God, Barrett and the kids and my home then I can get through the deepest valley Satan tries to push me in to.