Made to Crave Blog Hop - I am Holy

To be made holy is to be set apart by God for a specific purpose.

I have been deemed set apart by God for a specific purpose.

Does this make me holy?

 I’m a nobody.  I’m just a crippled middle aged woman in Middle Tennessee.  I’ve never done anything amazing.  My name is not known all over the world.  I don’t make life altering decisions every day that can make or break people.  I’m not a doctor with the next big cure.  I’m not a political leader with some grand suggestion for world peace.  I don’t have a solution to feed hungry kids, or to make parents love their children, nor can I make husbands and wife stay in a marriage where everyone and everything else says throw in the towel.

I’m no one, remember?

But, what if I have been set apart God for a specific purpose?

Leviticus 19:2  ^says, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.’”

It’s easy for us in our human state to doubt that we can be holy because…

       “I’m crippled…”

        “My parents abandoned me…”

        “My spouse rejected me…”

         “I’m overweight…”

This list can go on forever.  It’s been said that if you’re looking for an excuse; you’ll always find one.  But, our holiness has nothing to do with us, but everything to do with God: We are holy because He is holy.

Too often we think that God can’t use us because of our brokenness.  But in all reality, it is through our brokenness that God does use us.  Honestly, I do not know if I’d be a Christian if I wasn’t disabled.  My parents weren’t going to church when I was born.  When it was time for me to start school, they found a Catholic school that was just for disabled students.  My parents choose to put me in there rather than a public school where I would have probably been place into a special education class.

Uhm, set apart…

God knew.  My disability didn’t take Him by surprise.  While I don’t think He caused me to be disabled, I do think He allowed in for my good and for His glory.   Romans 8:28 tells us; “We know that all things work God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” 

 Somehow, my problems and your problems will all reveal God’s glory.  And I don’t have to do anything but get out of His way.  Ahh, but I’m stubborn.  I what people to see what I’ve done; to be impressed with the progress I’ve made.  What about me?  This is my life and I deserve the credit of what happens in my life.  Right.

I tell my kids all the time; “This is my life, I just let you live here.”  OK maybe not the best example.  But, we were created by God to have a relationship with God.  Luke 19:40 says (after Jesus was told by the Pharisees to rebuke His disciples), “’I tell you’ He replied, ‘If they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.’”  Wow, if I don’t praise God and give Him glory, the rocks will do it in my place!  I don’t want to miss out on praise and glorifying God.  He made me who I am.  He created me in my mother’s womb.  He choose my parents and my siblings.  He choose Bryan Barrett to be my husband and Dalton and Bobbye Sue to be our children.  I don’t know why He chose to bless me, but He did.

If I’d not been disabled I doubt I’d ever gone to college. I’d never met Barrett or have had these two wonderful kids. 

Yes, I know I’m holy and have been set apart by God for a specific purpose.  Have you?

Made to Crave - Chapter 14 - Emotional Emptiness

1.  Do you feel a connection between emotion emptiness and physical hunger?  Yes

      Are you able to distinguish between physical hunger and emotional triggered hunger or does it feel the same to you?  Sometimes, it depends on where I'm at spiritually.  If I'm truly in the word and seeking God, I'm more likely to recognize the difference.  Unfortunately, most of the time I'm not and so it's harder to tell the difference.

2.  By using the phrases of Philippians 4:8 as a guide, invite God to give you a better place to park your mind about a painful experience from your past.

      Whatever is true...Thought your body may be broken, you're still made in God's image.

      Whatever is noble...Your life isn't determined by your physical circumstance, but by what you let God do with it.

       Whatever is right...My mama always told me "God doesn't make junk!"  So therefore I must be worth something to Him.

       Whatever is pure...My brother used to say that he was pure as the white fallen snow.  I would always laugh and say. "Whatever, keep telling yourself that!  But, when we accept Jesus and choose to follow Isaiah 1:18 says “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."  Jesus purifies our souls; not through anything we've done, but through what He did for us when He died on the cross.

Whatever is lovely…Even though my body in this world is crippled, I know that it is lovely to God. And whether it’s in this life or in Heaven I know that my body will be made whole – and lovely – one day.

Whatever is admirable, excellent or praiseworthy…Nothing I can do on my own can make me any of these things.  However, through Christ I am told that I can do all things.

3.  I love how Lysa describes that God is making a mosaic of restoration and healing in heart by gathering up broken pieces of our lives and making it into something beautiful.  I totally believe that God uses everything in our life to tell our story.  Every now and then I can see a glimpse of what God is doing in my life and it is beautiful.

Whimsical Wednesday - Comparing Myself to Others

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  It’s funny that our society has most people playing tug-of-war with our self: We are to find our own uniqueness, yet we are to do it within expectations.  It’s ok to be different, as long as it kept within our little box.  WHAT???  This is a bit confusing isn’t it?  So is it any wonder that we have people walking around not sure what to do?  Have joy in being unique, but do it while conforming to others.

        We all have expectations put on us.  As a disabled woman, some people are really surprised that I’m married and have two kids.  It’s acceptable that I went to college and got my degree.  Good for you.  But you found someone to love you.   WOW!  The first question people asked is; “Is he disabled too?”  (Now, before I go on let me just say I’m all for disabled people marrying whomever they choose.)  But a lot of time people assume that because I’m disabled then my husband must be disabled too.  He is not.  So, obviously we do not have a typical marriage in some ways, while in others it’s very typical. I’m a stay-at-home-mom.  It’s my job to the “normal” mom things; keep the house clean, do laundry, do the shopping, make meals etc.  I may not do things the same way that “non-disabled” moms do but my kids and husband know that I love them and care for them. 

        I can remember when my kids were newborns and people would come to visit and want to pace with them back and forth to sooth them.  I had to ask people to please not do this.  I wasn’t trying to be mean or ungrateful, but I didn’t want the kids to get used to this,  because I knew I couldn’t pace with them, and as their primary care giver, I knew this couldn’t be one their comfort mechanism that I could offer them. 

        Conforming isn't always bad.  I love being a wife and mother.  But I tend to compare myself too often with those women who don’t have my physical challenges and start thinking things like; “A good mama can drive and she goes to all her son’s basketball games”, or “A good mama can teach her daughter how to sew”.  I let what is expected of a normal mother dictate how I’m supposed to be a mother, all the while forgetting on slight detail – I’m not “normal”.  Uhm, oh yeah!  It can be very easy to fall into that trap of if you aren’t like the norm, then you’re not good enough.  This is a lie from Satan. 

        Once I realize that I cannot live up to this standard, that’s when I can allow my uniqueness to step in and help me to adapt and do stuff the way the way I need to in order to be that good wife and mother that I want to be.

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 13 ~Overindulgence

1.  What are the unspoken truths about in your church or circle of friends?   I don't know that there is one.  We have 3 or 4 fellowships a year (Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and usually one in the summer or fall.)  These fellowships are infamous.  Ladies bring out their best dishes.  As for my friends, most of them are trying to eat and have their family eat healthy.  It is inspiring to talk with them and get ideas.  My best friend, Becki, is a high school culinary arts teacher.  I'm hoping she can give me some cooking lessons this summer.

2.  Have you ever thought of your overeating as an attempt to silence the cries of a hungry soul?  I hadn’t until I read this but I love this prospect and I hope that the Holy Spirit reminds me of this in times when I’m eating, but not really hungry.

3.  If you soul is like a ravenous vacuum cleaner, what kind of things has it sucked up over the years?  When I was in college, I drank.  After we were married and had kids, we stopped drinking.  Over the years I don’t know that I’ve replaced the drinking with eating but I think after 15 years of marriage and 2 kids I guess life just takes over.  I’m really bad at eating something salty and then something sweet and then something salty again.

4. Are you in the habit of depending on God for you daily needs as the Israelites did after they left Egypt?  Yes, I try to, but sometimes it’s too hard to give control.  I like to have a backup plan – just in case. 

What “manna” do you rely on most from God?  Probably peace and sanity.  I’ve suffer from depression and some other mental issues – most likely related to my Cerebral Palsy – most of more life.  I do take medication, but it is a daily struggle to fight day by day.  While there are things I can’t change; I have to trust that God is doing all things for my good.

5.  Have there been time in life when you struggled because you didn’t have what you needed?  I can’t really say I haven’t had what I needed.  I haven’t, however always taken advantage of them; especially medically.

How have the deprivations cause you to trust God that he can give what you to deal with food?    Where I’ve always had what I need, my live isn’t easy, but if I trust in God things seem to fall in place.  So, I know things we’ll be the same with my foods issues.

6.  “For He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” Psalm 107:9.  How do you respond to this promise?  I love it.  It’s one I need to stick on my fridge and memorize. 

     If you could ask God for one good thing that would help you to fill a deep and soul-filling satisfaction, what would it be?   Probably Strength and the desire to eat healthier.

Made to Crave Blog Hop ~ Gaining a Soul-Filing Satisfaction

What satisfies my soul?  Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and candy corn.  Uhm, maybe not.

What I LOVE about doing the Made to Crave bible study is that it’s not just another diet book.  I honestly don’t know that I’ve lost any weight during this process.  But:

          I’m drinking more water.

          I’m taking a daily vitamin.

          I’m exercising more.

          I’m thinking twice about eating those Girl Scout Cookies.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I could definitely improve some things, but that’s not why I joined this study.  I joined this study because I wanted to crave God more than food; more than ANYTHING!  I've  love God for as long as I can remember.  But there are times when I doubt Him; times when my soul cries to Him “Why is my life so unfair?” and times when I simply think He just needs to see things “my way”.

Lysa Terkeurst said in the book “Over-stuffing ourselves with food or drinking until we get drunk or getting wrapped up in the affections of an adulterous relationship are all desperate attempts to silence the cries of a hungry soul.” (Made to Crave, p 129.)  WOW! This statement really spoke to me.  It reminds me of when Jesus met the woman at the well.  (John 4:1-42)  She said “Sir, give me this l water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” Too often we want a quick fix.   Life is difficult; just like it was difficult for that woman go out daily and get the water she needed.  She had totally missed the point of the living water that Jesus told her about.  We too can get caught up in things that we think will be satisfying, only to wind up with a craving greater than the one we started with.  In my experience I crave whatever I’m doing at that time. If I’m trying to eat right, my body craves healthy food and water, but if I’m putting junk in my body; this is going to be what I crave.  It’s the same with God.  If I’m reading His word daily, then I’m going to want to read more of it

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 12 ~ Curse of the Skinny Jeans

1.    What fantasies do you have about what life would be like at your ideal weight?  I would be able to walk better.  Barrett would keep saying how pretty I was and I’d just feel better.

Why do you think your weight has so much power to influence your outlook on life?  We live in a society that is more or less governed by what we look like.  If we don’t fit into that special mold, we don’t feel “normal”.  I struggle more with my CP with this than my weight.  No one wants to be the “odd my out”.  All my life, I’ve been judged by how I look, talk and walk.  Is it fair; no.  Is it normal; yes.  It isn’t until we can see ourselves and others as God see us, that we truly see who we are in Him and realize how much He loves us.

2.   What activities do you join in part or because of the foods that are associated with them?  Oh, there are so many!  Movies and popcorn, Christmas parties and favorite family treats.  Going on with my best friend and getting coffee.  Going to a church fellowship and know that you-know-who made her infamous dish…

What activities might lose attraction for you if food wasn’t involved?   Uhm, probably a lot more than I can think of right now.

3.   What other things besides God have you tied to your happiness?  My physical ability, whether or not people like me.  The behavior of my kids, the approval or disapproval by my husband…The list goes on.

Do you think it’s possible to be filled with joy even though you’re not where you want to be with you weight?  Theologically yes, but not until I can see myself as God sees me.

4.   Who are the incomplete people in your life?  I think the people I’m around the most are the ones I see as incomplete; mainly my husband and kids.

Are these people triggers to make you eat?  Yes, sometimes.

Are there ways you might be the incomplete person in someone’s life?  YES.

Are you able to look beyond people’s incompleteness to see their pain?  Sometimes, when I’m abiding in Jesus and his word, I’m able to be more understanding and sensitive to the needs than I am if I’m not.

5.    What do you think of the incomplete people in your life?  I want to fix them and to make them to become like me.

How might a compassionate act of kindness change the way you feel about the incomplete person?  I think that anytime we can get out of ourselves and truly serve and give to someone else, then we’re going to understand them better.

How might it change how you feel about yourself and your on incompleteness? When we truly focus on the gifts that God has blessed us with and not our flaws, then I think we can be happier and allow Him to work through us.

Whimsical Wednesday ~ Why I'm a Stay - at - Home - Mama

I am currently reading the book Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.  I've wanted to read this for a while now and finally broke down and got it.  I must say, I love it.  My sister, Stacia, (who's 19 years younger than me) just got married and had her first baby.  I was talking to her last night and she’s anxious to get back out into world.  I urged to her to enjoy this time; her daughter will never be a month old again.  I can totally understand her need to get out and be social.  It’s hard to go from the life where you free to go and do as you please, to someone who has another human being that’s relying on you to fulfill their every need.  We live in a society that devalues the mother who chooses to stay at home.  Our mom was a stay at home mom up until I was a freshman in high school, when she went to nursing school.  I was so proud of her, but it really put a strain on the family.  She was always exhausted.  I mean yes she was still a great mother and a fantastic nurse.  But her time was divide and it really took a toll on her.

Still not convince, I started college with every intention of being a “career woman”.  I wanted to be a super social worker during the day and a super wife and super mama at night.  I knew I had what it took to do it and be all.  What change my mind?  I had a lot of friends in college who were married, married with kid, divorced with kids and single with kids.  Some of them were working one or more jobs just to make ends meet.   They were are great moms, but it just seemed like something was missing.  As I thought about trying to do it all with a physical disability.  I feared that my husband or my children would get the short end of my stick.  I could not even stand the thought of that happening. 

I’m all for women right – minus abortion -, but I do believe a woman’s husband and her children are her top priority. A woman’s choice to work or stay home should be between her, her husband and God.