Happy March

Hey, I know it's been a while since I've posted.  Christmas was good,  Now we/re hunkering down into the heart of basket ball season. Soon we'll move into soft ball and baseball,  Yes, I am the ultimate sports widow.
     We're in the midst of  remodeling our bathroom and make it more wheel chair accescible.  It was suppose to take a week, 2 at the most, but we're starting on week 9. On of Barrett's brothers is doing the job.  He's having some health problems and has gotten behind. We're trying to be understanding and  supportive, but at the same time,its getting really old.  I want my house back in order.  I know he doesn't feel well, but we need to get this finished.  I almost feel like he's taking advantage of us because we are family, but then I feel guilty because I know he doesn't feel well.but at some points he needs to be honest and if he can't finish he needs to let us find someone who can.  I'm torn because I know he really needs the money.  I want to do as Jesus would and react with love and compassion,  However, it is really stressing Barrett out and is an inconveince to the whole family.  Mr. Barrett is really trying to help, but he seams to adding to the problem. I so love the old man and need to really for patience in dealing with him.  I want to be a shining example of God in these situations, but feel myself waning.  I am so codependent; I hate for others to be upset or discontent.  I obviously have problem with conflict (that's a post for another blog).

30 Days of Thankfulness - Days 1 & 2

OK, so many people celebrate November and Thanksgiving by saying one thing every day of what you're thankful 

He Really Did Died For Me

This past weekend my best friend, Becki and I went to a women's retreat.  This retreat is awesome and truly is one of the highlights of our year.  It's just nice to get away with her and other women for a weekend without kids and husband to just relax and grow closer to God and each other.  It's one of the highlights of our year.  For me the best and most revealing part of the weekend came Saturday night.  The evening meeting was down at the lake.  The path down to the lake was a very steep and fractured slab of concrete.  I was in my scooter and was doing OK until I hit a rough spot and almost flipped over.  I get parked in the grass and quickly turn the scooter off  because I'm afraid if I touch it in any way I'll end off in the lake topic was sin and forgiveness.  At the beginning of the session, the had given us each a piece of cheese clothe (I think that's what it was).  We were to write on it something we were struggling, then walk it down to a table that had some red liquid on it- they said the liquid would dissolve the ink.  After this we were to take a white rose and place the petals in the lake.  I was not going to attempt this; in fact I was seriously considering just sitting in my scooter on that hill for the rest of my life.  So Becki took mine for me.  I watched enviously at this beautiful of all these women preforming the symbolic act it accrued to me; Jesus did what I could not do.  He took up the cross and died for me!  There was never even a chance that I could produce my own salvation.  Now, I've been a Christian all my life, but this hit me like block on the head.  Too often we try to take charge of our own life.  We don't want ta appear week.  I hate to think off all the blessings I've missed our on simply because I was too stubborn to surrender to God.  I've always  been very independent; in some ways I fear  I'm loosing more and more of my independence every day.  I believe with all my heart that God gave me such a strong will and independence to help me succeed, even survive.  However, as I get older and have to rely on others - and on God - I'm truly starting to see how much  God loves me.  He love truly did die for me!

Frame of Mind Friday

It's been quite a while since I blogged a "Frame Of Mind Friday". (or any common theme).  I'm pretty excited that this time next week my BFF, Becki, & I will be at a women's retreat.   I CAN'T WAIT!!! 

Book Review - Grace for the Good Girl

   So it took me almost  2 months to read, but I finally finished reading Grace for the Good Girl  by Emily P. Freeman.  I read this as part  of The Titus 2 Univversy.  I must say this is a great book; one of the best I've read in a while  The first thing I noticed was the cover:  It made me think of Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sing which I read in junior high.  The idea of this story, if I remember correctly it's about how we can still feel free even in the midst of  a life that seams anything but.   Grace for the Good Girl brings up the issue of how "good girl"  has  been prompted to please everyone; be the best at everything you do.  It reminds me that we are saved by grace, not by works.  I grew up trying to be the ultimate "good girl"  In fact my nick name in  college was "Mother Teresa" or "MT" for short.  I obtained this nick name because the first semester of my freshmen year I went to a retreat where the matter of church attendance came up. I said (and I'm sure I said it agronantly) that I ALWAYS went to church!  Well, a mere 5 years later, I could no longer say that.  In fact, I no longer belong to the same denomination.  It wasn't that I felt like I was better than anyone else, it's just that truly felt  that that was what you were suppose to m ;kado:  You were suppose to go to church every Sunday;  you were suppose to do you best at everything; you were suppose to be a "good girl"  
     I think a lot of this goes back to how I was raised, but more importantly was how I processed how I  was raised.  I was (am) sensitive person and I truly feel guilty when I do something wrong, even when it's an accident.  I even feel guilty at times over my Ceberal Palsy; as if I can control it.  This also incorporated what society and the world defines a "good girl." .  The world concentrates and promotes perfection, it feels like you have an automatic strike on you back because you are different from the norm.
     I think what I got most out of reading Grace for the Good Girl was that its OK that I'm not .  God did not intend for me to be perfect and in fact its my imperfections that will draw me closer to Him.

WIFE SWAP- WOULD YOU, COULD YOU?

Remember in Dr. Sues' "Green Eggs and Ham" , when the question was asked "Would you, could you eat them (insert a way here)?"  Lately, I've been hooked on reruns of Wife Swap and Trading Spouses on Lifetime.  (Yes, I've got too much time on my hands!)   I've always been and a people watcher - I may be nosy but I prefer to say I'm putting my Social Work degree to good use.  I am intrigured with how people interact with others.  I know this is going sound crazy and maybe even a bit conceited; but while I (think) I'd personally loved to experince this,  I don't know how'd it go over with Barrett.  I'm not saying I'm not totally in love with my life, but I must admit I do get bored at times and wondered if "life truly is greener on the other side".  However, I'm not sure about having a total stranger coming in and judging my family an my parenting style.

So, the answer to the question; Would I, Could I do Wife Swap?  NO!!!!!

Rambling Monday -Starting to think

So, as I mentioned in my last post - school starts next week and I need to start  thinking about trying to get organized...I'm hoping with Barrett schedule change (that started today:):):)), that I can get things like our bedtimes, menus, chores, home work time and all that stuff organized this week.  Today I printed off the school calendar.  I need to go look at my Home Management Binder and tweak it some.  I do want to plan healthier menus and not always looking at my clock, saying "It's 4:30, what do I have to feed my family???" I need to get the kids to clean their rooms and make sure they have every thing the need for school. I want to set aside time to be with God and time to write more.  I want to do a "30 days to Clean" challenge starting in a few weeks once they get settled in school So, there's my week's plans;  wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!