COM-BINDING BLOGS

Friday, January 24, 2014

Made to Crave ~ Chapter 1:What's really going on here?

1)  If you could personify cravings, what would it look like?  I'm constantly hearing voices.  Most of these voices carry a negative undertone and usually sound like my daddy, my older brother, my father-in-law, an older lady at church or anyone who I feel is against me.  Remember those old cartoons where people have a good angel on one shoulder; and they are in a battle over right and wrong.  The good angel is calm and collective and the evil angel is wishy washy character ~a lot like me.

2.  How do you respond that God made us to crave?  I so love this.  When I'm truly following God with all my heart and soul, I desire more and more of Him.  However, when I am living in my sinful ways, I crave things that aren't always good for me.

3.  Could there be any benefits to cravings? Yes I think so.  God created us to have an intimate relationship with Him.  It is when we don't feel these cravings with God, but with anything else then our cravings can never be truly satisfied. 

4.  The bible says that Satan uses cravings, lust of the eyes and boasting to draw us away from God.  How have you dealt with things lately?
      Cravings - 2 of my biggest cravings are unhealthy food and sleep.  Yes,  I said sleep.  It's nothing for me to sleep 12 hours a day.  I justify it by saying my  CP wears me out and I need to save my strength for when my kids and Barrett, and while this is true I LOVE to sleep and to dream.  It give me peace.  This craving is worse in the winter because it is so cold and the cold stiffens my body.  However, my craving for unhealthy foods and sleep are probably directly related...UHM,  I really need to think and pray on this.
     Lust of the eyes -  we live in such  a visual world.  I must admit I love to watch a young couple in love and I realized I miss that.  I know that Barrett loves me with all his heart and soul.  I know that he's not a real touchy feely person.  I need to learn to accept Barrett for who he is and be satisfied by what he gives me.
     Boasting - Uhm, can't I just skip this one.  Something else I crave is ATTENTION!!  My husband is somewhat a local celebrity;  He works on the local radio station.  Everywhere we go in town he's known.  Proverbs 31:23  says "Her husband is know at that gates, Where he sits among the elders of the lands."  While I love being married to such a leader, sometimes as a lowly homemaker I must honestly sometimes I miss not being noticed or needed until something goes wrong.
5.  Do I ever use scripture to defeat temptation?  Yes sometimes, but not nearly as often as I need to.

Made To Crave Blog Hop: Desires

I must admit, I've fallen behind in my reading of Made to Crave this week.  The Barrett house hold is undergoing some major changes this week.  We've been rearranging bedrooms.  Because I snore and cough so much at night, Barrett wasn't sleeping.  Dalton-who just got a new bedroom about 2 years ago, got in trouble last week as punishment lost his room.  So Barrett took Dalton's  old room for he's office/bedroom, Bobbye Sue moved into  Barrett's office (she'd been in her room since she was born and wanted a change, and Dalton got Bobbye Sue's old room.  Confusing right???  I'm the big winner here; I get too keep the big master bedroom!

As Dalton would say; I've been a glass case of emotions this week.  On one hand I'm kinda excited to be getting my "OWN" room, but on the other hand I feel guilty because I can no longer share a room with my husband.  You have these expectations that a married couple always sleeps in the same room.  But as I've been researching on the web and having separate bedrooms for couples is not too uncommon, in fact it's even termed a "sleep divorce".  I know that God can use this for good if I let him.

Cravings are a strange thing.  It's our mind tricking us into thinking we desperately tricking us into thinking we NEED something,  In reality, all we truly NEED is God,  If we live and depend on him, He'll supply everything.  I have been called to be a wife and mother, where I lay my head at night shouldn't matter.  Yes, my desire is to be for my husband, but when that desire is stronger than my desire for God, I have a problem.  And truth be told, I have often let my desires for Barrett become stronger than my desire for God.  I get caught up in the fact that Barrett is physically here with me; I can see and touch him.  Sometimes I don't like is with me - But there is go relying on my feelings again.  James 4:8 says; "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."  I must allow my cravings to come from God and not earthly desires.

Saturday, January 18, 2014

When He Says Nothing At All

      Growing up in Nashville, Tn, I loved country music.  The songs seamed so romantic.  I always wanted a love story like was on the radio.  One song that stands out is Paul Overstreet's "You say it best when you say nothing at all".  I always wanted to be loved and know so well that we didn't have to talk at all.  Today I realized that after 15 years of marriage Barrett and I are finally there!  Something happened last night and we had to confront Dalton about something kinda risque.  It was so nice, and revealing to realized that we're on the same page that we can just look at each other and have a whole a conversation without saying a word.  I so love my husband.

Friday, January 17, 2014

I MUST DECEASE SO THEY CAN INCREASE

     As a mother, they say that is job from they day they are first born that your job is to prepare them to leave.  When they're little they are so dependent on you, so much so it can be overwhelming.  I remember after Dalton was born just feeling so scared and thinking.  "Why did God give me a baby?  I can barely care for myself, let alone this little one." In fact, I'm one of those people who have a thousand  great ideas a day, but I don't always have the umph to follow through.  In the back of my mind was always the fear of what happens if I wake one day and decide this isn't what I want.  (Typical thoughts of a child of a broken family).  As a Christian woman I vowed to be the best mother I can be.  I'm a stay-at-home-mom and I've pour out everything I have to my family.  But something happens to kids; they do grow up..  Suddenly the little boy who wouldn't leave my side is embarrassed to be with me,  and the little girl who wouldn't get out of my sight is sneaking into her bedroom for a giggly gossip phone chat with her latest BFF.
      I know that if I've done my job as a mother right, then I know that they'll make the right choices.  As much as I want them to need me,  I know that they need to be self - sufficient.  Because of my CP, my kids have learned that there are simply some thing Mama can't do, so they've to sort step up to the plate and fend for themselves.  My kids are now 14 and 11,  they still need me, just in another capacity.  No one can love them like I can.  No one can pray for them like I can.  We're just a few years away from them want to hang out Friday night at ball games with friend instead of pizza and a movie with Mama.  While I may not always be happy with their decisions, I want them to know Mama will always be here at the end of the day.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

My Favorite Scripture

On Sunday January 19 I’m going to start participating in an online study of the book Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst over at www.proverbs31.org.  On Thursdays, there’s going to be doing a blog hop where they provide topics and you choose one to blog about.  The topic I chose today was What is your favorite scripture?  While I believe ALL scripture is inspired by God, my life verse is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  As a disabled woman, this verse means so much to me because like it or not, there are limits on my life.  I’m never going to race in the Indy 500 or dance on Broadway, but that’s OK because I can do whatever God ask me to do.  From the moment I was born, I’ve gone against what people have said and believed of me.  I know none of it is because of me but because God has cared for me and allowed me to do these things 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

WHAT GODLY MEANS TO THE CRIPPLED MAMA

     Yesterday, I said that my word for the year is GODLY.  Uhm, I probably need to define this both for my readers and myself.  According to www.thefreedictionary.com,  godly is defined as 1) have a great reverence for God; pious and 2) divine.  Now before I start, let me assure you I'm no where close to God, nor do I claim to be.  Our pastor tells us that God is like a blacksmith and that He pounds on metal and burns it in fire until it has no flaws in it and all He can see is His own reflection.  I believe our ultimate goal in this life is to be like Jesus.  Yes, he created us all as unique individuals, but we are to love and treat others as He does.  
       While the bible is full or examples of godly women, there are two that I have chosen to model my life after: The Proverb 31 and the Titus 2 Woman.  I know both these characters sparks different reactions to different people  When I look at these two women I see who God wants me to be.  These women, especially the Proverbs 31 woman can be VERY CONTROVERSIAL.  And yes, if you just look at them with human eyes, there's no way you can stand up to that.  But if you let God guide you, you can do anything!  I'm never gonna be the perfect wife or mother, most of the time I can't even qualify as a good one.  But I have hope that if I keep trusting God that I can be the wife to Bryan and the mama to Dalton and Bobbye Sue that He me to be. 

Happy March

Hey, I know it's been a while since I've posted.  Christmas was good,  Now we/re hunkering down into the heart of basket ball season. Soon we'll move into soft ball and baseball,  Yes, I am the ultimate sports widow.
     We're in the midst of  remodeling our bathroom and make it more wheel chair accescible.  It was suppose to take a week, 2 at the most, but we're starting on week 9. On of Barrett's brothers is doing the job.  He's having some health problems and has gotten behind. We're trying to be understanding and  supportive, but at the same time,its getting really old.  I want my house back in order.  I know he doesn't feel well, but we need to get this finished.  I almost feel like he's taking advantage of us because we are family, but then I feel guilty because I know he doesn't feel well.but at some points he needs to be honest and if he can't finish he needs to let us find someone who can.  I'm torn because I know he really needs the money.  I want to do as Jesus would and react with love and compassion,  However, it is really stressing Barrett out and is an inconveince to the whole family.  Mr. Barrett is really trying to help, but he seams to adding to the problem. I so love the old man and need to really for patience in dealing with him.  I want to be a shining example of God in these situations, but feel myself waning.  I am so codependent; I hate for others to be upset or discontent.  I obviously have problem with conflict (that's a post for another blog).

30 Days of Thankfulness - Days 1 & 2

OK, so many people celebrate November and Thanksgiving by saying one thing every day of what you're thankful 

He Really Did Died For Me

This past weekend my best friend, Becki and I went to a women's retreat.  This retreat is awesome and truly is one of the highlights of our year.  It's just nice to get away with her and other women for a weekend without kids and husband to just relax and grow closer to God and each other.  It's one of the highlights of our year.  For me the best and most revealing part of the weekend came Saturday night.  The evening meeting was down at the lake.  The path down to the lake was a very steep and fractured slab of concrete.  I was in my scooter and was doing OK until I hit a rough spot and almost flipped over.  I get parked in the grass and quickly turn the scooter off  because I'm afraid if I touch it in any way I'll end off in the lake topic was sin and forgiveness.  At the beginning of the session, the had given us each a piece of cheese clothe (I think that's what it was).  We were to write on it something we were struggling, then walk it down to a table that had some red liquid on it- they said the liquid would dissolve the ink.  After this we were to take a white rose and place the petals in the lake.  I was not going to attempt this; in fact I was seriously considering just sitting in my scooter on that hill for the rest of my life.  So Becki took mine for me.  I watched enviously at this beautiful of all these women preforming the symbolic act it accrued to me; Jesus did what I could not do.  He took up the cross and died for me!  There was never even a chance that I could produce my own salvation.  Now, I've been a Christian all my life, but this hit me like block on the head.  Too often we try to take charge of our own life.  We don't want ta appear week.  I hate to think off all the blessings I've missed our on simply because I was too stubborn to surrender to God.  I've always  been very independent; in some ways I fear  I'm loosing more and more of my independence every day.  I believe with all my heart that God gave me such a strong will and independence to help me succeed, even survive.  However, as I get older and have to rely on others - and on God - I'm truly starting to see how much  God loves me.  He love truly did die for me!

Frame of Mind Friday

It's been quite a while since I blogged a "Frame Of Mind Friday". (or any common theme).  I'm pretty excited that this time next week my BFF, Becki, & I will be at a women's retreat.   I CAN'T WAIT!!! 

Book Review - Grace for the Good Girl

   So it took me almost  2 months to read, but I finally finished reading Grace for the Good Girl  by Emily P. Freeman.  I read this as part  of The Titus 2 Univversy.  I must say this is a great book; one of the best I've read in a while  The first thing I noticed was the cover:  It made me think of Maya Angelou's I Know Why The Caged Bird Sing which I read in junior high.  The idea of this story, if I remember correctly it's about how we can still feel free even in the midst of  a life that seams anything but.   Grace for the Good Girl brings up the issue of how "good girl"  has  been prompted to please everyone; be the best at everything you do.  It reminds me that we are saved by grace, not by works.  I grew up trying to be the ultimate "good girl"  In fact my nick name in  college was "Mother Teresa" or "MT" for short.  I obtained this nick name because the first semester of my freshmen year I went to a retreat where the matter of church attendance came up. I said (and I'm sure I said it agronantly) that I ALWAYS went to church!  Well, a mere 5 years later, I could no longer say that.  In fact, I no longer belong to the same denomination.  It wasn't that I felt like I was better than anyone else, it's just that truly felt  that that was what you were suppose to m ;kado:  You were suppose to go to church every Sunday;  you were suppose to do you best at everything; you were suppose to be a "good girl"  
     I think a lot of this goes back to how I was raised, but more importantly was how I processed how I  was raised.  I was (am) sensitive person and I truly feel guilty when I do something wrong, even when it's an accident.  I even feel guilty at times over my Ceberal Palsy; as if I can control it.  This also incorporated what society and the world defines a "good girl." .  The world concentrates and promotes perfection, it feels like you have an automatic strike on you back because you are different from the norm.
     I think what I got most out of reading Grace for the Good Girl was that its OK that I'm not .  God did not intend for me to be perfect and in fact its my imperfections that will draw me closer to Him.

WIFE SWAP- WOULD YOU, COULD YOU?

Remember in Dr. Sues' "Green Eggs and Ham" , when the question was asked "Would you, could you eat them (insert a way here)?"  Lately, I've been hooked on reruns of Wife Swap and Trading Spouses on Lifetime.  (Yes, I've got too much time on my hands!)   I've always been and a people watcher - I may be nosy but I prefer to say I'm putting my Social Work degree to good use.  I am intrigured with how people interact with others.  I know this is going sound crazy and maybe even a bit conceited; but while I (think) I'd personally loved to experince this,  I don't know how'd it go over with Barrett.  I'm not saying I'm not totally in love with my life, but I must admit I do get bored at times and wondered if "life truly is greener on the other side".  However, I'm not sure about having a total stranger coming in and judging my family an my parenting style.

So, the answer to the question; Would I, Could I do Wife Swap?  NO!!!!!