Why I Blog

A couple of days ago I was sorta  attacked because of the way I blog.  I love to write.  It's my poral.  It's a way for me to express what I'm thinking and feeling.  When I was little I loved to read Judy Blume's books.  Then it hit me; I could write.  Being a kid where most of my peers were involved physically activities that I couldn't participate in. So I used writing as my outlet.  I don't write to express self-pity.  I want to share my journey with others.  No too many disabled women -not too many women period get the opportunity to marryPublish Post the true love of their life, have  two wonderful babies and get to fulfill God's will in my  life.  I know I'm blessed and I'm very thankful...I'm also very human.  I do struggle with depression  and at times   it may creep into a self-pity party.  This is a sin which I constantly battle.  I'd like  to encourage   others to live out to be who  God wants them to be.   

       I also wanted to comment on why I chose "The Crippled Mama", as a person whom I don't know. questioned  how I could possible have chosen this as my blog name.  First of all, let's define the word "cripple".  According to dictionary.com,  cripple is:

n
1.	offensive  a person who is lame
2.	offensive  a person who is or seems disabled or deficient insome way: a mental cripple
3.	dialect  ( US ) a dense thicket, usually in marshy land
— vb
4.	( tr ) to make a cripple of; disable
[Old English crypel;  related to crēopan  to creep , Old Frisiankreppel  a cripple, Middle Low German kröpel ]
Many people think of "cripple" as a very old fashioned word.  This was almost seen as a "four letter word" when I was growing up.  I hated being called crippled, disabled, handicapped are any other word they would describe me as being "not normal".  More than one of my brothers got involved in a fight because I was refereed to as "crippled".  If you'd had told me years ago I'd have a blog called "The Crippled Mama", I'd said you were crazy.  However, when I started this blog last September, I wanted a title that would invoke the main aspects of my life; my being a wife and mama and my having a disability.   When I chose the name of my blog,  I chose on that I thought would stick out and attract people,  not to gain sympathy from anyone.  As a writer,    I have a deep love for words and the power of them.  Yes words can be used to hurt people.  But words in themselves can't hurt people  The word "crippled"by itself doesn't hold a positive nor a negative stance.  I can hurt people by the way I use it and others can hurt me by the way they use it towards me.  But at the end of the day, its just a word.  How I use it and receive and choose to react to it reflects my heart and my  character.

Struggling with the Winter Blues

One of the hardest parts of my disability is dealing with depression.  Depression also run on both side of my families, so I'm not sure how much is from the CP and how much is inherited.  I let my meds run out last week (I know, I know)  I'm  not against taking the med - they do help, but I feel guilty that I even have to take them  My father-in-law refers to them as my "Crazy Pills".  It makes me feels bad, like I'm not good enough; I'm not worthy to be  married to his son or/ and especially not worthy enough to be the mother of his grand kids.  I know this is not true and I over think things!  I just wish I could be normal.

HOME KEEPER'S JOURNAL: HODGE PODGE

Christian Homekeeper 2/8/11

If you would like to join in visit The Christian Homekeeper . Let me know if you do, so I'll check out your blog! :) 

This week's Homekeeper's Journal is a Hodgepodge of Thoughts and Ideas. 

In My Kitchen this Week... Just the norm. 

Foremost in My Thoughts this week... Depression, snow & sick kids.

I have been so busy with..  Just trying to keep my head above water.

Could someone please...Help me understand an 11 year son??? Please!

I've been wanting to do this for so long... to find a group of women I can meet with weekly.


If I manage things just right... I could keep mt house clean.

Becoming a Woman of Grace - Chapter 1

What did you think about the Father and Child dialog at the beginning of chapter 1? Very compelling.  Love that God wants me to know of His grace.

What do you think of the relation of the word favor to the word grace?
When I think of favor I thing of something that I've asked for, but when I think of grace I think of something more unexpected, that I don't deserve; a gift.  But after reading this study I'm stated to realize that favor and grace or one in the same.  I think we've huamanized "favor.  I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.   I see grace more connected God and it sorta has the heavenly feel.  I think there's more exception with "grace" than with "favor.  It's hard for us sometimes, even as Christians to accept something for free, without expected to give something in return.  


Now talk about this chapter, your impressions, thoughts and any light-bulb moments ....  This study started    slow for me, but I think that's just because of where I am right now. ~ Which is why i NEED this study right now.  A coupled of things I highlighted in my book were:

~"So even before they sinned, Adam and Eve lived on grace. And God's will for them was that they live by faith in future grace ~ God's daily, fatherly care and provission." (p.11)  This tells me that grace was in the plan all along.  It's kinda like the fact th I loved my kids even before they were born, & I'll alway love them no matter what.:they don't have to EARN my love.

- God CHOOSES to be kind and compasionate. (p. 12)

~ We can even see Him in creation. (p. 12)

Pro. 31 Challenge ~ Week 1

http://lynishiskid.blogspot.com/2011/01/day-in-our-life-blog-hop-woman-of-noble.html

Week 1:  

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

 ^10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find? 
   She is worth far more than rubies. 
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her 
   and lacks nothing of value. 
¹² She brings him good, not harm, 
   all the days of her life


Proverbs 31:10-12  


  Are you a virtuous and capable wife more precious than rubies?  Does your husband trust you, and do you enrich his life?   Do you bring him good everyday?  Write a post about something you would like to change about yourself, and something you love about yourself.  How does this add to the enrichment of your husband's life?       


I LOVE studying the Proverbs 31 woman.  Although I struggle with the fact that I can never be like her.  Some how I don't see her as a disabled woman who suffered from moderate depression.  I know Barrett loves me and I think when all is said and done I do think he thinks I'm a good wife.  There are a lot of things I can do better.  Because of my disability, our life is difficult at time and some of these things won't change until God heals me or until we enter into glory.  I think my attitude affects Barrett more than what I do or don't do.


What would I like to change about my self? WOW! That's a loaded question.  The one thing I want ~ and need~ is to become more organized and to stay on top of things.


What do you love about yourself and how does it enrich your husband's life?  UHM, Ironically, I think that because Barrett's type A  and I'm obviously not.  I do think the fact that we stress over different keeps us balanced.    On I more direct note, I think Barrett and I see things in much different ways.  Through my weaknesses of my disability, I have gain a perception that he doesn't have, ~ as he has perceptions that I don't have.  I can see stuff in the home and with the kids that he doesn't get to see.    I have that extra time in my day to give them the little extra attention.  I also see how mine and Barrett personalities  and reaction effect my kids.  I think it's good for them to  see that even though we're different and sometimes have different aspects of thing that we love each other and they we want the best for our families.  We make a good team, 

HOME KEEPER'S JOURNAL: Crafting and Creating

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2011

Homekeeper Journal 2/3/2011

This week's journal prompts brought to you by Sylvia over at the Christian Homekeeper Network.  Check her out at http://www.christianhomekeeper.org/.
In My Kitchen this week …… I've been trying to get out of a rut;  I feel like I serve the same meals over and over and over...I really want to come up with a 2 week menu ~ as I go to the store every 2 weeks.  Last night I made meatloaf, but added taco mix to it and it had a Mexican kick.  We saw something on TV last night I tried to day.  You dip chicken in egg and dip in French's fried onions and baked it.  It was good!
When I think about Crafting/Sewing/Making Things, I want to …  groan... I'm not very crafty, mainly because of the CP, my hands don't work right.

My favorite creative outlet is …….. writing

A Craft that I’d like to learn is …. painting

One Craft that I can do but don’t do much is …. When I was a little girl, my mother would but me these kids cross stitching kits.  There have big plastic frames and plastics needles.

An unusual Craft that I can do or would like to do is …. would like to make dolls like my Grandmother did.

The Craft/Creative Work that I have no desire whatsoever to do ……woodwork 

Thoughtful Thursday

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2011

Been dealing with a bit of depression this week.  I'm ready, I need SUNSHINE.  I just wanna sleep.  But I've still  got to PRAISE GOD. 

So today I'm thankful for:

-a warm home

- a great husband

- 2 awesome kids

- a God who loves me uncoditionally