He Really Did Died For Me

This past weekend my best friend, Becki and I went to a women's retreat.  This retreat is awesome and truly is one of the highlights of our year.  It's just nice to get away with her and other women for a weekend without kids and husband to just relax and grow closer to God and each other.  It's one of the highlights of our year.  For me the best and most revealing part of the weekend came Saturday night.  The evening meeting was down at the lake.  The path down to the lake was a very steep and fractured slab of concrete.  I was in my scooter and was doing OK until I hit a rough spot and almost flipped over.  I get parked in the grass and quickly turn the scooter off  because I'm afraid if I touch it in any way I'll end off in the lake topic was sin and forgiveness.  At the beginning of the session, the had given us each a piece of cheese clothe (I think that's what it was).  We were to write on it something we were struggling, then walk it down to a table that had some red liquid on it- they said the liquid would dissolve the ink.  After this we were to take a white rose and place the petals in the lake.  I was not going to attempt this; in fact I was seriously considering just sitting in my scooter on that hill for the rest of my life.  So Becki took mine for me.  I watched enviously at this beautiful of all these women preforming the symbolic act it accrued to me; Jesus did what I could not do.  He took up the cross and died for me!  There was never even a chance that I could produce my own salvation.  Now, I've been a Christian all my life, but this hit me like block on the head.  Too often we try to take charge of our own life.  We don't want ta appear week.  I hate to think off all the blessings I've missed our on simply because I was too stubborn to surrender to God.  I've always  been very independent; in some ways I fear  I'm loosing more and more of my independence every day.  I believe with all my heart that God gave me such a strong will and independence to help me succeed, even survive.  However, as I get older and have to rely on others - and on God - I'm truly starting to see how much  God loves me.  He love truly did die for me!