Grieving Daddy on Facebook

     Recently,  two good friends of mine lost the fathers.  Angela Braach lost her sweet Daddy on November 23, 2014 and Katie Taylor lost her dear ole dad on December 2, 2014.  As I've watched and prayed  for for my friends and their families,  I've been taken aback 9 years to when my Daddy died on July 10, 2006.

    My daddy was sick for about 16 years with kidney issues.  I went to bed many nights just knowing that I would get a phone call before the sun rise; telling me that he didn't make it.   He was on Dialysis for the better part of those years - 3 or 4 days a week.

     I wish I could say that my daddy and I were always close and that I was always there for him.  Our life, our family's life, was quite complicated.  I spent years being angry at my daddy.  He made some choices in his life that I felt devastated from.  They were choices that not only hurt me as a daughter, but also as a Christian.  It is hard for a daughter to see her father sin and make mistakes.  I knew my daddy loved me and he knew I loved him, but there were things that I couldn't get past, & know I'm kicking myself now because all that did was wasted precious time that I could have spent with my Daddy.  Time that I can never get back.

     As hard as it is for a daughter to realize her daddy made mistake; it's even harder to think of her daddy not being in Heaven waiting for her.  I can remember a couple of Christmases before he died talking to him; pleading for him to turn to God and seek forgiveness.  He said no, that he had committed the unforgivable sin and had grieved the Holy Spirit.  It was then that I began to reverently pray that he  would turn  back to God.  I was so relived and rejoiced when Lisa told me at the funeral that two night before he died he asked for forgiveness and accepted Christ.

     God and time has a way of healing a broken heart.  Although I still greatly miss my daddy, I can now look back  on his life, and on our life as father and daughter,  and can truly see God's love and work and can say that I know and believed my daddy in walking in the presence of God.
     While I'm unaware of the struggles that my friends Angela and Katie had with their on fathers, it is my prayer that they can look pass them, they they can see their father truly for who God truly made him to be.  They are grieving now, but I pray that will wake up one day and  the sadness will be replaced with only sweet memories.  I love you both dearly and you are both in my prayers.

A New Year Has Dawned...

...Yes I do realize its already January 16, but it's not to late to start with new beginnings. I think the thing I want to do most -alwaays- is to renew my relationship with God; to read my bible and to pray more.  All you gotta do is turn on the news or even log into Face Book to see how desperate this ole world.  I want to be as close to the Creator as I can get so that He can shield me from the evil one.  I want him to guide my every step; least I fall in to temptation.
      I want to eat better and walk / exercise more.  I want to have more energy and not so much.  I'm being treated for sleep  apnea.  I have a CPAP machine and we are suppose to be getting our Sleep Number bed next week; Thursday!!!  Bobbye Sue Girl Scout troop is also starting to work on their badge: Eating For Beauty.  Hoping this will be inspiring.
     I want to keep my house clean and stay on top of things such as laundry & meal planing, etc. 
     I want to write, journal and blog more.  I know this is my most passionate and creative out let and I need to use it more.
     I want to read more.  Been watching way too much TV lately.  I have so many books I've order and haven't read (mostly from my favorite online book store CBD!)  Plus I have a tablet with a Kindle app.  So, I'm definitely not "book poor".
     I want to be kinder to others and to encourage them more.  I believe that one of my spiritual gifts is to be  encouraging to others and I need to be more faithful in doing this.
    And the last one, I'm almost afraid to write down.  For the last couple years the thought of being an inspirational speaker has crossed my mind.  I've prayed about it some and need to pray about it much more.  This calling HAS to come from the LORD.  I really think it be a cool thing, but only if all the glory goes to God

So, that's it.  I have a lot of work and a lot more praying to do!  Please pray with  and for me that I will become the person god has called me to be!

Putting my Christmas Tree up Early

Why, yes, we did start decorating our Christmas Tree tonight  -Nov. 9th - had to keep up with Stacia Hay!  I know a lot of people have posted about how they don't like how people decorate and stuff so much before Christmas.  But you know what?  I Love Christmas!  We live in a free country and I have the right to start decorating whenever I want.  If you go into some place playing Christmas Music and you don't like it; most of us have phones with ear buds outlets that you can use to listen to anything you want to.  I personally don't like the music a lot of businesses play throughout the rest of the year.  If you don't like the Christmas display and decorations; ignore them.  God knows their are a lot of displays and decorations that should be ignored the rest of the year.  I don't not overlook Thanksgiving.  When the kids were young we always did the Thanks Living Box, now they are older we always talk about the first Thanksgiving and share what we are thankful for. I think businesses should choose for themselves weather or not they are open.  I must admit, we have gone as a family to Wal-Mart on Thanksgiving.  I do feel bad that some people have to work, but many people are just glad they have a job.  You may not like celebrating Christmas so early and that's fine; but don't you dare try and tell me when I can and can't start celebrating.  I know the reasons I celebrate and no, I'm not tired of them at any point.  If you do tire of Christmas, you may want to check why you celebrate in the first pace.  As Scrooge said; "I will Honor Christmas in my heart and will try and keep it all the year!"

Another news story has caught my eye.  This one is about a mother who says she regrets not aborting herr baby when she was told that he would probably be disabled.  She and her husband had already told the doctor that "...we didn't want a child who wasn't going to be able to ride a bike and do things that normal children do."  Life News  

     As a mother,  I can not get my head around this..Yes, I want a child but only if he or she is perfect.  And as a woman with a disability I am totally appalled.  

     I know parenting a disabled child is difficult; it can expensive; it can be hard on marriages ( I was told a divorce was my fault).  It can be difficult for siblings; (on of my brothers' depression was blamed on  the fact that he had a disabled sister).  Plus all the uncertainty of the disability:  How much care a disabled child will need.

Disabilities are not easy, but is anything in life easy?  Would this mother want to go back and abort this child if they don't make straight A's in  school or if they grow up and choose a different path than she wants them too.

One of the worst things you can say to a disable child, or anyone for that matter, is that they aren't wanted.  We already live in a society we being different can be taboo.  A mother is the one person that every  child should be able to go to and be loved; no matter what they do or who they become.  Even if this mother never lets her child know she thinks this.  It will be felt; every deep sigh, every angry voice, every time she's moves or touches him, he'll  be able to tell how she really feels about him.

Please, please treat your loved ones with care.  Just because they're not who you want them to be doesn't mean they're not who God wants them to be.

Praying For Strangers

A story caught my eye that week that has not only pulled on my heart strings, but has also made me questioned some of my core beliefs.  But above all, this story has reminded how importain it is to pray for others; even for those we don't know.
Brittany Maynard is a 29 year old recently married woman in Oregon.  Right after their wedding, she found out she had terminal brain cancer.  She has decided to end her on November 1st.
Now, while I believe suicide is wrong, I am compassionate of the reason she has chosen to end her life: she's facing a very harsh and painful death.  She also wants to make it easier for her family.  I do respect her decision, I just don't know if I agree with it.
However I can pray for her.    I can pray for her healing, for peace, for comfort and understanding for her family and friends.  I don't have to know or even to agree with her to pray for her.  Some people think that to pray for someone is  to say that you agree with them.  I say sometimes this is true, while other times this can't be further from the truth.  If we are praying for someone's salvation we are obviously not in agreement with them if they believe there is no God.  Sometimes the best prayer for others; strangers or not; is "May God's will be done."  Isaiah 55:8 says "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.'"  It can be very hard to pray  for God's will to be done because no one but God truly knows His will.  So therefore, we can pray for others even those we don't agree with them.
I can remember when I was little, my mama used to tell me to "people  watch" to cure boredom whenever we were out having to wait.  This is not only a great source of entertainment, but it's also a great opportunity to build you prayer list: we can prayer for the harried clerk at the local supermarket who's been yelled by many customers even though she's not to blame for the long line in her lane.  We can pray for the mother in the park who's trying to gather up her kids to go home and take a nap even though they don't want to go.  We can pray for the businessman  who is sitting alone in the food court at lunchtime; massaging his temple with one hand and trying to balance his check book with the other: Working 18 hours a day, 6 days a week is causing nothing but migraine headaches and only a few more dollars to work with when deciding what bills to pay first.
The truth is everyone has a story.  The chance that we'll ever know a stranger's story is slim to none, but it doesn't take away the importance of their story.  When we pray for them, we are lifting them up to God and pleading for Him to have mercy for them.  We may be the only person that will ever pray for them.  Sad, but true.  
Pray for strangers, and remember,  "Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have showed hospitality to angels without knowing it." Hebrews 13:2

Disabilities Aren't Always a Bad Thing

I've been having a discussion with a group on Facebook about what's good about being in a wheel; about having a disability.  Now many people, both those who are disabled and those aren't, see this question and laugh.  Surely, there can be nothing good about having a disabled.  Uhm, I may beg to differ, depending  on the day.  I  was strangled at birth by the umbilical cord That caused me to have Cerebral Palsy.  I'd like to think that before I was born that God asked  me if I would be disabled for a reason.  I hope that through my struggles, I have inspired others.  I can look back at my life and sees the path that my disability has sewn: It's the reason my  family became Christian, the reason  I got to go to college, the reason I chose to major in Social Work, the reason I met my husband and so forth.  Most people see disabilities as negative, and while most disabilities have negative aspects that go along with them; but then again most people who breathe life encounter negative aspects that goes along with that life.    We all have two choices; we can either spend our life complaining and hold a self pity party with the negatives being the hostess with the mostest; or we can take the negatives and try to make our life a little bit better because of  them.  I know many problems in life seem massive and people think that nothing go can come of them.  And if we simply look at them with the naked  eye; we can't.  However, when we break down our negatives (at this point forward I'll refer to them  as disabilities), we can see thing that we might be able to when we look at them as a whole.  There is an old saying;  "How do you eat an elephant? One piece at a time, of course."    There are many thing we may not be able to do, we must concentrate on the thing we can do.  Even the simplest thing as smiling at a caregiver who may be having bad day; maybe you cheered  them up.  We are not on this earth to live solo lives.  God created us to have relationships and to help and to love others.  Hebrews 13:2 says "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unaware."  We should never let our disability hinder our ability to do God's will.  It's not even a choice.  it is our duty to  do what God calls us to, no matter what cost to us.

Tribute to my Daughter

 She is a very beautiful and caring daughter; both inside and out.  She has the patience of a dove and the strength of a lion.  She had to learn at a very young age to be both self-efficient and caring towards others.  Not because her mother was mean or neglectful  as was the reason too many other children had to mature faster than their years; but because they were simply thing that her disabled mother needed help with.  She always had a cheerful heart and if the burden of helping ever became to much, she didn't let it show.  At times, her mother was sadden by the thought that maybe her daughter's childhood had been stolen from her.  But just as she did; her daughter would do something silly to remind her mother that she was still just a girl.